bade me good night. He has gone on deck, while I am cowering in my state-room, unable to seek rest, and striving to write, though the storm is howling louder and louder, and every lurch of the ship flings the book from my lap. move that pale, gentle creature from her care. But, strange enough, Mrs. Harrington has taken a singular liking to the girl, and will receive her medicines from no one else. Her son seems pained by this, but the General is constantly praising the devotion of this young slave, so that it is impossible to interfere. "Weaker and weaker-alas! poor lady, she seems to have no real illness, but fades away calmly and softly, like a flower that the frost has kissed to death. 64 "Alive and on land. In the country, back a little from the coast, we have found a shelter from the shipwreck. That we live at all is owing to the bravery of a seaman who superintended the making of a raft after the ship struck, and almost forced us to save our lives by risking them upon it. The other passengers refused to go, and for a long time we hesitated, but Ben Benson was so determined, that at last we trusted every thing to his frail craft, which, alas! was all of our brave ves-traint, and when I lift my look to his, or attempt sel that ever reached the shore. "I shudder even now, as I remember the fearful rush of waters around us when our raft was cut loose from the sinking vessel. A hundred ghostly forms looked down upon us from the crowded stern, dreading the death for us, which too surely fell on them. "It was a terrible venture. The storm still raging, the sea rising high, and breakers howling on either hand, like hungry tigers tearing at their chains. It all seems like a hideous dream to me now, but I remember one thing that kept the life in my heart, when it seemed turning to stone. In the midst of the storm, as the raft reeled and plunged over the lightning-stricken waves, I found myself gathered to his bosoin, and while the warmth of that embrace reached my heart, I heard such words as sent the blood thrilling ke a gush of wine, back through all my veins. In the rage and whirl of the storm, while we were quivering in the very jaws of death, James Harrington uttered in many a wild word, the love that I had only felt to be mine before. He seems to have forgotten it now, for since we have been housed safely on land, with the breath of a dozen orange groves awaking nothing but sweet emotions, he seems to have forgotten the passion of those delirious words, and but that they are burned like enamel on my heart, I might fancy them a dream and nothing more. "Why is this? What makes him so reserved and yet so gently courteous. There is no impediment to free speech. Are we not equals in birth—and as for fortune, thank Heaven, I am rich enough for both. Why should he almost shun me then, and spend so much time wandering along the coast, looking upon the waves that have almost proved fatal to us? These thoughts make me very sad. Does he repent, or has a passion that seemed so strong when death was nigh gone out with the storm that witnessed its first utter ance. "At last we have reached Seville, but, oh! I greatly fear Mrs. Harrington will never go from this beautiful place alive. The terrors of that shipwreck seems to have exhausted the last remnant of strength in her delicate form. Zillah is most attentive-always by her side-always ready to be of service, yet, somehow, I cannot like the girl. There are times when her eyes have a look that makes me shudder, and I long to re Harrington watches the gentle decline with silent anguish that I can feel, but must not ask to share. How cold and distant this trouble renders him! He speaks sometimes of his fears, as she grows worse and worse, but it is with mournful res those broken words of comfort that spring naturally to the lips, he turns away without reply, as if my attempt at consolation had only deepened his sorrow. Was that wild confession on the raft all a dream? Had the terror and privation rendered me delirious? Could, these words, so deeply written in my memory, have been only a wild hallucination? "She is dead-oh, heavens! She died last night, with no one near but the slave, and, as the girl Zillah said, without a struggle or sigh. The shock has been terrible to her son, terrible to us all-for the General is greatly disturbed, and, as for the slave-girl, her grief is fearful; she raves rather than weeps, and trembles like an aspen at the mention of her dead lady's name. "With the solemn burial services of the Catholic Church, we have consigned the remains of this lovely woman to her grave, and now my loneliness is complete. My own poor heart seems to have partaken of the chill that has quenched her life. I am weary of this beautiful land-weary of everything-alone and unloved; for now I am almost sure my own wild brain coined the words that seemed to come from his lips in the storm-alone, unloved-what remains for me, but "It is all over now! Oh, Heaven, that I should have so deceived myself! Harrington loves anotherone whom he has known almost since childhood, and from whom a series of untoward circumstances separated him. There is, there can be no doubt-no room for a single hope-the General himself informed me of it to-day. "I cannot write-I cannot even think! There is s strange confusion in my brain-a fever in my hear which give me no rest. I long for some one to advise me-some one to whom I can look for sympathy— but I have no counsellor. Kindred-mine are in the grave! Friends-the last one sleeps in the cemetery yonder-in the wide world I am utterly alone. The General grows kinder to me daily, but to him how could I speak of all these things? No! I must bury the secret deep, deep in my own heart-must endure this suffering in silence and alone. "I have but one wish now-could I but be the means of uniting James Harrington with the woman he loves. The only consolation I could have, would be to know * * * * that he was happy, and that it was to me he owed that happiness. But I can do nothing; the General only hinted at some mysterious history, and as he requested me to consider all that he had revealed as sacred, I am utterly powerless to aid him for whom I would so willingly lay down my life. "My fate is now decided-:t is too late to look back, or to retract anything I have promised. I have consented to become General Harrington's wife-to fill the place of one who took me to her heart as if I had been her own child, bestowing upon me the fondness which I could have no right to claim, except from a mother. "The change I had remarked in the General's manner was not fancy, as I strove to think. He desires to make me his wife. He alluded to it yesterday for the first time, and to-night I gave him my answer. I can but confess that the arguments he employed were just; a young girl could not remain in the house with a man no older than he, without being connected to him by a nearer tie than that which binds us. He spoke to me very kindly, more gently and tenderly than I had thought he could do. He believes that I have formed no other attachment, or, if not entirely heart free, it was but a girlish fancy, which had no real basis. He assures me that I shall be happy as his wife, but my heart answers how impossible that is! I do not ask happiness-let me but find quiet and contentmentI seek no more. "We are to be married at once, for General Harrington is forced to return to America. Ay, it is better thus-I would have it over. Perhaps, in the peaceful home I shall find in my native land, I may learn to still this poor heart to rest. I long to return. "He is not here. He left us when we reached Madrid, for the purpose of entering France through the Basque countries; but this morning the General received another letter from him-he is going to Italy. The General, it seems, had written that he had obtained my consent to become his wife, and the answer is 'Whatever will conduce to your happiness, and that of the lady, must be acceptable to me.' "A year to-day since I became a wife-a year into vhich has been crowded an eternity of sorrow and regret. The woman James Harrington loved is dead. O, foolish heart, be still; can I never learn to endure in silence! How this portion of my life has passed I hardly know; seldom have I made a record of its secrets. Much of the time has been spent in the gay world, for my husband-how strangely the word husband sounds even now-seems to grow every day fonder of its pleasures. The months thus spent have been most wearisome to me; I like better the calm retreat where I have spent my summers, with only a few servants to disturb the quiet of the house, and faithful Ben Benson, who has never left us, to gratify, as if by magic, every wish of his capricious mistress. But there is to be a change-henceforth we are to reside wholly at the North, and he is coming home to live. "A new blessing has been granted to me! Forgive me, my God, that I have dared thus to repine and forget that Thy protecting care was over me! I am a mother! My baby sleeps in his cradle by my side, and one glance at his face makes me forget all the misery I have endured. James returned during my illness. My heart was too full of its new bliss for any other feeling. With my child folded over my heart I could meet him without one of its pulses being quicked-there is a sacredness in the duties God has now given me which I should not have dared profane by one human regret. "He looks ill and careworn-would that I might speak of his affairs, but I can do nothing, though it is fearful to see him thus; to know that he suffers and feel that I have no power to relieve him. He seems to love my baby. Heaven bless him for that! The General's indifference has pained me, but the nurse says men never like children-when he grows older and his * * * Nothing more—not even an expression of astonish-father sees him all that is noble and good he will love ment! Yes, it is better thus! I will marry General him; how could he do otherwise?-my precious, preHarrington-he is the only being on earth who cares cious child. for me the only one who would seek to render me happy. In a few years he will be an old man, and the trust and friendship I now feel, will be sufficient to his contentment. This firm and trusting friendship I shall always be willing to give. If I do not accept him, where am I to turn for a protector-of what avail is my great wealth, since it cannot win for me a home in any human heart? "I marvel at my own calmness-pray Heaven that when too late, I do not find that it has been only the apathy of despair. I will be calm-my hushed and trembling heart shall at least be silent-by-and-by it will, perhaps, be numbed into insensibility. I can expect nothing more; for I know that the uprooted flowers of a love like mine can have no second-blossom, the sweet fountain of affection once wasted, its waters may never flow again. "This little girl, poor, forsaken, young, innocent, she seems to have been sent to be the companion of my boy. How he loves her already; bending over the cradle where she lies to touch her little face with his dimpled hands, his great eyes lit up, and his whole countenance aglow with feeling, such as one seldom witnesses in a child. This is only another kind act for which I have to bless Ben Benson. He found the infant wandering away from some unknown home in a fearful storm, almost perished, and unable to tell even her name. "It is a beautiful child, and the nurse pronounces her a very pretty one. The General seems quite willing that I should adopt her; so I have now a daughterthe word sounds sweet, very sweet to me. James looks at me strangely as I sit with Lina in my lap, and little Ralph by my side, there is a mournfulness in his face "Yet it seems strange that I have no right to indulge in these memories of an era in my existence gone forever! How few and fleeting were those moments of unshadowed sunlight; the brightest twin memories which my soul can recall, were given to me under such different auspices. Of the first sweet hour, I have just promised my soul never again to think-upon the gloomy waters of my existence, no lilies are blossoming "Am I happier now! My children are growing all that I could wish. I have wealth, kind friends—say, am I happy? I would not repine nor be ungrateful, but, oh! were it not for the little ones Heaven has confided to my care, how gladly would I seek a quiet rest-now-the last withered flowers have been torn from ing place in the grave! "I know now that time cannot alleviate suffering, that nothing can teach the heart to forget or still it into quietude, save for a little season. Yet my existence is not wholly vain, and while those youthful creatures need my care I am willing to live, but there are times when the burden forced upon my soul seems harder than I can endure, when I fling myself down in utter despair, feeling unable to tread longer the weary path which lies before me. "It seems to me that I should suffer less could I but see James happy, but his sad silence increases my own pain. He is always gentle and kind, devoted to the children; full of respect and quiet attentions for me; but how changed from the bright youth of former years. How distant that season-through what a fearful gloom I look back upon the brightness of those summer years! How often I ask myself if I am indeed | the dreaming girl who in her chamber at Neathcote watching the stars out in a vigil which was like a charmed vision, believing that life was to be one long fairy dream of delight. "I have been thinking of that sail upon the lake. I could not help it! Ralph brought me some water lilies that he and Lina had gathered, and as if the odor of those flowers had possessed a spell to conjure up the past, the fleeting happiness of that summer day came back to me. "Ralph left me alone, and for a long hour I gave myself up to the feelings which his simple offering had aroused. I had not thought there could be so much of passion in my suffering now-the tears I shed burned my cheek like flame; and, when the storm gust had spent its might, I lay back on my couch, weak and faint from excitement. "I was roused from those haunting memories by tones beneath my window-it was his voice; he was conversing with Ralph. I leaned forward, and looked down upon them then I realized how fearful was the change which had passed over him. I had been dreaming of him, as he appeared upon that blessed day, and the being I beheld beneath my casement looked like the ghost of the happy-eyed boy of my vision. "O, had he but confided in me-would he but have trusted me as his sister-hush! am I not his father's wife? Whither have my mad thoughts led me! My God, have mercy upon me, stay the terrible tempest which has desolated my whole being, and now breathes its deadly simoom through the sepulchre which was once a heart. I must neither write, nor think morethere must be an end of this weakness-how unlike the fortitude I had promised myself to acquire. their roots, and swept idly down the current to perish, leaving only a faint perfume in my heart, which is but an added pain. "Now I know that its very bliss was a delusion of my fancy, like the tones, I believed to have heard, wrung from Harrington's breast during that fearful tempest, when we stood upon the deck of the ill-fated vessel, and death seemed so near us. Could I have died then, died with his arms enfolding me, his manly heart throbbing against my own, the measure of my existence had been complete-it began beneath the sunlight of his smile, it would have ended with the latest life pulse within his noble bosom. "Now I will lay this book aside, nor will my hand again turn its familiar pages, until I have taught myself something of the quiet I have so long striven to attain. If in the sight of Heaven I have sinned, cannot my suf ferings atone for it?-the evil, if evil there has been, was involuntary; the penitence has been deep and earnest; surely the angels watching over me will not let it be without avail. "Great heavens! will this heart never have restwill years do nothing for me? Ralph is now a man ; Lina, one of the most lovely creatures I ever saw. These two children, whose infant kisses seein, even now, upon my lips, have sprung up into sudden youth, and seem ready to escape my love. Yesterday, Lina came to me with a world of innocent blushes, and hung about my chair, as if longing to whisper some secret into my ear, yet without the courage to speak. I wondered what the child wanted, but would not force her confidence. * * * * ** "I thank God, oh! I thank my God that I am alive The terrible shock of that night is still gnawing through my frame. I have been so close to death, that the vitality beating at my heart seems unreal. Last night I was hurled into the depths of the river, that is even now rushing onward to the ocean so near to my window, that the eternal sweep of its waters haunt me like a threat of death. "He saved me or rather they-for Ben Benson was in the midst of the storm, resolute, like the others. I must have been dead for a time, for, when my memory came back, it seemed as if I had forgotten all these miserable years of married life, and was upon that heaving raft again, with his arms around me, and whispering those low, passionate words in my ear. Why did that dream come back then? Was it to lay my heart bare, and reveal to me how little prayer and time have done to wrest this first and last love from my heart? (To be continued.) WE are all dreamers, thought I, while looking at a | And his eyes filled with tears in a minute; then he took little Swiss boy, who, with his hurdy-gurdy on his knee, up his hurdy-gurdy and played one of his own simple sat watching the sunset at the front of an old pictur-mountain airs, never for a moment averting his glance esque public-house beside the Thames. He rested his from that rich landscape-looking pile of clouds, until head on one hand, while the other was laid lightly on the tune ceased, when he wiped his eyes, turned away, his instrument, and kept his bright eyes fixed upon the and walked on towards the great city. Poor little felbrilliant sunset. I, too, turned from him to gaze on low, thought I, thy lodging is in some crowded and the declining orb of day, and seemed at once to read sewerless court in the neighborhood of Holborn. Oh, his thoughts, and to see the same scene as that which how different from the scenes on which the eye of thy his "inward" eye had pictured, and which our artist imagination has just dwelt! There the mountain air has here rendered into a resemblance of nature's reality. and the mountain winds blew and rung about thee; the The clouds had assumed the shape of mountains, on the tinkling of bells and the sweet even-song are now tops of which castles and towers appeared to rise, while changed for the airless and suffocating alley, where the a smooth lake showed between the openings on which winds have no room to blow, and the sunbeams no room the sunset seemed to fall, and to glow beneath like to beat, but come only to gild the dark chimney-pots molten gold. In the foreground appeared a few little before thine attic window, and mock thee with the huts dotting the steep mountain sides, at the entrance remembrance of thy sun-lit mountain-peaks. And of what the clouds formed into a beautiful valley. what have they given thee in return? was the question Perhaps it was cruel to break up his reverie, but my that arose unaware in my mind. Some mercenary mascuriosity was awakened, and touching him gently on ter plunders thee of the few pence thou obtainest daily the shoulder, I pointed to the sky, and uttered the word from the good-natured public, and though to appear"Switzerland." I had struck the right chord, and ance free, thou art but a slave in a strange land, and never did I feel so much regret at not understanding fettered by an invisible chain, the weight of which thou the language he uttered, as on that occasion. Still I feelest to be all the heavier through having to carry it seemed to comprehend a good deal of what he sought concealed. Yet his life is not all hopeless, thought I, to convey. I caught the word "Oberland," or some and in my heart I wished that he might speedily realize such sound, and as he continued to point to the sky, enough to carry him back to the mountain cottage, could just make out sufficient to find that his far-off which we had both traced in the opening gorge of the home was beside such a lake as both our imaginations golden sunset, that he might once again— had pictured-that he had left a mother there--and his voice faltered-and some one in the church-yard in a grave, as he made me understand, covered with flowers. "Walk in glory and in joy Upon the mountain side."-WORDSWORTH. We lived in the country, in a large, rambling, oldfashioned house, surrounded with beautiful gardens and extensive grounds. of awe stole over me-a vague, unearthly, impalpable presence seemed to surround me-a nameless terror paled my cheek and sent an icy thrill to my heart; and starting up, I fled to the house, never daring to stop or look behind till the sights and sounds of human and domestic life, which in general I sought to fly from, brought back the natural current of my blood. I was one day, as usual, alone in the garden, when Elizabeth, my attendant, came to tell me that I was to be dressed to go out with my father. In silence I submitted to the operation of dressing, and with a fluttering heart and faltering step, accompanied Elizabeth to the door of the study. She knocked, and left me to enter alone to my father's presence. In summer, the days were never too long for me: I remember, as if it were but yesterday, the fairy-like existence of these summer hours: there was not a flower in those gardens I did not know, whose growth I had not watched, and whose opening had not given ine an emotion of joy and admiration. The roses were my especial favorites; often has my last visit at evening been to some particularly-prized bud, and my first thought at waking, that I might find it burst into bloom. There were roses in these gardens, old-fashioned ones, that the modern French specimens have cast into shade, and that are rarely seen now but in out-of-the- He looked up from the papers on his writing-table: way country-places-dear old roses, that I never come Anna," he said, in the calm, passionless voice in across without a thrill of the mingled pain and pleasure which he always addressed me, "I am going to take we feel at meeting, unexpectedly, some loved and long-you to visit a lady who wishes to see you." He then lost object. Their perfume calls up in my mind a thou-rose, took up his hat and gloves, and went out, I folsand mingled memories and associations of my neglected lowing him. A lady! I did not know that my father yet not unhappy childhood, and of the old place where had a single female acquaintance; and as I walked by I was born. his side in silence, my brain was in a whirl of conjecture. 66 In a quarter of an hour we arrived at our destination. My rambles being almost entirely confined to our own grounds, for I much preferred a solitary stroll to formal walks with my nurse, I did not know that the house we were approaching was that of my father's friend whom I had occasionally seen at our house. We entered a pretty drawing-room, in which was seated a lady, not very young, with a grave, cold, handsome face, and stately figure, that inspired me with more awe than sympathy or confidence. She greeted my father in a manner quite in accordance with her appearance. "I have brought you my daughter, Miss Dayton, in accordance with your wishes," my father said, as he led me forward; "I fear you will find her terribly shy and uncivilized." The lady took my hand, looked hard in my blushing face, and kissed my forehead, gently, but coldly, and without anything of warmth or sympathy in her look or manner. There was a particular spot in the grounds, at some distance from the house, that had been a peculiarly favorite retreat of the mother I had lost, and this I adopted for my own. It was a little sunny oasis, hemmed in on all sides by the woods: flowering shrubs, many of them planted by her hand, still bloomed there in tangled, neglected beauty. A summer-house, overgrown with ivy, clematis, white roses, and jasmine, and shaded by a group of pink and white hawthorns, lilac, and laburnum, all mingling their blossoms in the springtime, faced the entrance to this fairy spot. Damp, time, and neglect, had done their work on the fragile building; livid stains marred the wall and ceiling, once delicately painted with loves and flowers; the colored glass was dropping from the latticed windows, through which stray shoots of the climbing parasites without crept in, weak and pale for want of air and sunshine; the Indian matting on the floor was ragged; the rustic articles of furniture, worn and rickety: the stamp of premature death lay on all: yet for me the place had a vague, nameless, mysterious charm, which no other could inspire. Sometimes, on warm July days, I have lain for hours on one of the mossy banks that sur-Everything appeared so strange and unfamiliar, that I rounded the summer-house, so still in my dreamy reve- felt as if in a painful dream; and when, after another ries, that the wild denizens of the spot have been silent walk with my father, I got home, and found unconscious of my presence: the squirrel pattered myself in my own nursery, surrounded with the through the dead leaves, or cracked nuts in the branches objects I had been used to from my earliest recollecover my head: the robin came, hopping down by degrees, tions, I flung my arms round nurse's neck, and tried to nearer and nearer, and having thoroughly inspected me shake from my childish heart the impression of confrom various points of view, he seemed tolerably satis-straint and uneasiness with which my morning's excurfied with his scrutiny, flew off to his tree again, and sion had loaded it. from one of the topmost branches poured forth those clear thrilling strains that make him, to my mind, one of the very sweetest of our wood minstrels. Then I would enter the summer-house, and sit looking through the open door, and musing on my mother till a sense How the visit passed I hardly remember: I know we did not stay long, though it seemed an age to me. This was my first visit to Miss Dayton, but not my last. Sometimes she sent for me to spend the whole day with her-and, oh how I dreaded those occasions! Not that I disliked her, but I never got over that feeling of awe with which her cold stateliness inspired me. |