I fit here a patient of my God's, while he gives me phyfic for my foul. It works heavily with me, and makes me very sick; but I am fure will have a good effect, while I bear it meekly and fubmiffively, and humble myself under his hand, for my of fences; and this will please him as well as if I were now exercifed in most devout and ⚫ fublime contemplations. For my God will give me this too another time, for my patient bearing my present inability to attain to them. Amen.'

O my God, how gracious art thou to me in freeing me, by thy rod upon me, from finful affections, now in this perilous time, ⚫ that nothing may interpofe between thee and C my foul; when nothing can give me comfort or peace, but only leave, humbly to draw nigh to thee: let me not think it hard to fuffer while thou ftrikeft, for thy chastisements are fatherly, and full of ends of love and mercy. Amen.'

Again when after fome fhort enjoyment of health, he faw fick nefs making its approaches; though the profpect of it damped him a little, yet he foon recovered himself, and expreffed Nature's fears, and his own defires, in the following meditation.

I cannot avoid fome dejection of mind, at the apprehenfions of the return of my diftemper, after fome refpite from it. The thoughts of a meagre, fickly look; of a melancholy confinement to my chamber;

• of

of drugs and phyfic, and cafting about for new remedies, and being fhut up from bufinefs, and the duties of my place, strike me with a little terror. But I thank God, it is only in my body; and thofe qualities of vanity and worldlinefs, which I have contracted in this fpurt of health, while it hath been new to me, (my thoughts being apt to be ftrongly carried away by a new thing) that these fears affect me. Thefe qualities I ' esteem my burden, and strive against them; and would gladly have them mortified, though they have a reluctance to that which would oppose them, as the return of my illnefs would. And therefore, as it is from them that I feel my fhock, in the apprehenfion of illness; fo it is they that draw back, when I would put myself into the hands of • God, and refign myself to his will. But with my mind, I entirely fubmit to his pleafure: the apprehenfions of being in his hand, give me a perfect readiness to what he • fhall ordain. I fee fickness at hand, and I 6 am troubled: I look a little further, and fee that it is thou, Lord, that orders it fo; and I have fudden peace, and a great calm. "The ox knows his owner, and the afs his 'mafter's crib," and the hand that feeds him. • Oh! that I may have the promptitude of thefe creatures, and know thee my owner; • and own the hand that disposes of me! how happy fhall I then be! O fay to my foul, when I am terrified and in pain, as thou Ꮐ • "didft

didft to thy difciples; "It is I, be not • afraid," and my foul fhall be at ease.'

But at another time afterwards, he was fo far from being disturbed at the prospect of fickness, that he made it a matter of joy and thankfulness, as the meditation that here follows will fhew.

I bless thee, O my God, that I can rejoice in the thoughts of this approaching 'pain and fickness, which thou art preparing

to bring upon me, as what, I hope, will be 6 an effectual means to cure me of all finful 'affections, and of loving any thing befide thee. How eafy will the greatest torments of pain be, when I can fee thee directing them to this end, which I have fo long ftrove • and laboured after.

yet

Lord, thou wilt help me to perform the difficult tafk which thou haft given me: and though thy helping me give me pain, that pain to my body fhall be cafe and pleasure to my mind; for by it, I truft that I may come to love thy glory above all things; and to love all things only in thee; that my heart and my foul may be filled with thee; and my mouth may speak continually thy praise.

This coarfe upper garment, in which thou hat clad me, O my God, (by making my 'continued indifpofition to require it) is the ballaft of my foul: I will love it, and bless thee for it: it keeps me from vanities, from • affecting courtship, and fetting up for a

I will therefore wrap

figure in the world. C up myself in it, and not defire to be free from a neceffity of ufing it; but wear it joyfully as thy livery, and as a badge of my being thy care. Amen.'

Again, he praises God for that which few in this world do think a bleffing, but. to too many is one of the moft afflicting effects of fickness.

I praife thee, O my Saviour,' fays he, for these pale looks, this wan vifage, and for giving me fuch a face as is not capable to rival thee, nor rob thee of any heart of thy fervants, which I fear the naughtinefs of my own heart, if thou didst give me other looks, would be apt to abuse to this end: I dare not be fecure of myfelf; I willingly accufe myself to thee, my Lord, and rejoice and bless thee in that thou doft 6 put it out of my power to be treacherous 6 to thee.'

In the fame place he purfues his devotions in the following manner.

I praife thee, O my God, for making me thy care, and for this proof of it, that thou art pleased to chaftife me with thy fatherly rod. Two things I humbly beg of thee, that thou wouldeft pardon thofe things which provoke thee to deal with me thus contrary to thy gracious nature, and that thou wouldeit fanctify thy rod to me, that it may be effectual to remove my fins, that thou mayeft re

move it without danger of my foul's returning to folly. Amen.'

These are fome of Mr. Bonnell's meditations and prayers of fickness and pain; nor did his practice at all fall short of them; for that patience which he fo earnestly prayed for, he enjoyed in a measure beyond the greatest part, even of good men. When he has been in the greatest anguifh, with two very tormenting diftempers, (the gravel and cholic) he would often fay; "Thy will, O God, thy will be done with me, and upon me: I have no will of my own, and rejoice in doing thy will. O what mercies are these sufferings, if they be the way God thinks fit to punish my fins here, in order to fpare me hereafter ! How much greater were my Saviour's fufferings upon the cross! Did he undergo fuch agonies for my fins, and fhall not I chearfully fubmit to, and embrace whatever God fees fit to lay upon me!" with much more to the fame purpose in every fit of pain. When any medicine was given him, he would, after begging God's bleffing, take it; and then would ufually fay; "It is better than I de ferve; I blefs God for it, and for giving me fuch affiftances in this extremity. Oh! how many of his better fervants want these com forts! bleffed be his holy name for giving them to me."

Nor was he only patient under bodily pains, but fubmiffive to the will, and fatis