с

• flesh, and many, (though not extreme, which is thy mercy) never intermitting pains. My fins indeed deferve this, and more: But might I choose for the good of my foul, as • I faid, which I know thou doft favour,) I 'fhould, with fubmiffion to thy wisdom, de6 fire fome other kind of chaftifement, and take leave to wonder at thy difpenfation 6 to me. But I am abundantly fatisfied, and ' affured in my felf, from thy immenfe wisdom and exceeding love, to which I heartily and 'cheerfully refign up myfelf, that even this is beft for my foul, however unlikely it feems to me. Thy wifdom is above my fhallow comprehenfion, and therefore to thee I facrifice thefe glimmering fparks of my faint reason, and fhall repofe myself upon thy mighty love.'

6

Another time, reflecting upon the fins which had been the effects of his ficknefs and afflic tion, he endeavours to quiet his mind, by propofing to it the more dangerous fins, which generally attend profperity and health. You • fee, O my foul,' fays he, what fins ficknefs and affliction lead you to, (which indeed are ill, and the Lord in mercy grant me pardon for them,) but you do not fee to how much greater health and plenty, freedom and applaufe, honour, and the good things of this world, would have brought you, had • God vouchfafed them. It is not poffible for thee to have a profpect of thefe; and from the wickednefs of thy heart, thou

• mayel

mayeft guess what would have become of thee, had he dealt with thee with a more 'bountiful hand, and as he does with fome others. The child that dare fin, even under the rod, what would it have done in the midst • of smiles?

O let the confideration of thofe fins, from which the goodnefs of God has kept thee, make thee heartily contented with the way that he hath taken with thee; and exceedingly joyful with that condition, which hath been a means to thee of avoiding any one • fin. It is a curfed delufion of the devil, who plunges fouls in fin, that have begun to tamper with it; and draws them wholly away from God, who have wantonly turned a little out of the right path, by making them believe, that now their hand is in, they. may go on; that fince they have begun a fcore, it will not much encrease their guilt, to gratify themselves in the next enjoyments: the fum of their guilt will be much the fame, if having gone fo far, they take the other fatisfaction in alfo; the fame repentance will ferve to account for both, and the fame humiliation to wipe out all, and this temptation feldom fails to carry it; especially when there is a ftrong party within, and a predisposition in our minds by former commiffions. But, O my foul, let me know that it is infinite matter of rejoicing to be faved from one fin; that we, who bear upon God's patience by our commiffions, fhould rather than dif

6

• please

pleafe him, fuffer any thing, to avoid one evil. The contrary is the language of a heart alienated from God, and that has forgot the fweets of his favour: besides, the confequence is more fatal, and feldom terminates in one fin: but encreasing the enmity of our will towards God, difpofes us afterwards to commit the fame, and other fins, maliciously, and in a kind of defiance " to him, which before we did out of weakness and childish infirmity. For the first fins which are committed by a child of God, " are innocent, in respect of the additional repetitions, which are committed on prefumption of God's reconcileableness, and hopes of repentance: for this does two things; it habituates the perfon to the fin, and makes him more powerfully difpofed to it by a bodily and mental habit and inclination: and it raifes in his mind a fenfe of greater guilt, and by confequence of God's dif • pleasure! the effect of which is, that he contracts an enmity to God, for being habituated and inclined to his fin, and knowing, on the other fide, that God is difpleafed • with him for it, he likewife becomes angry with God, who ftands in the way of his enjoyment and gratifying himself; and this breeds enmity to God, which is the conftant affection of a finner, as love is of a faint; ⚫ and nothing more hardens our heart from returning to God, or concludes us in a state of fin, than this does; because it makes us

• fin

'fin maliciously; the breach is made wide, and reconciliation not eafy; and in the 6 mean time, habits grow powerful, and they carry away the foul that is thus eftranged from God, with the fame eafe that a wolf ⚫ devours a folitary fheep that is gone aftray, and quite out of the fight of its fhepherd. It is in the condition of the Ifraelites, when 'Mofes was fo long in the Mount; "As for this man, (and this God) who brought us out of Egypt, we know not what is become ' of them; up, let us make other gods."

Hear, O Lord my God, the humble requeft of thy unworthy Servant, accordding as I unfeignedly defire to pour it out 'before thee; let me have grace to serve thee; let me be delivered from every fin, and all occafions of falling; let me have grace to wait upon thee with never ceafing ⚫ diligence in well-doing, in humble, constant, and earnest prayer; let me proceed in holi'nefs, exemplarinefs, and all Chriftian graces; • make me inwardly found in respect to myfelf, and outwardly influential to all I converfe with; that thy grace may be in my heart, and on my tongue, in my looks, and in my eyes, and shine bright in all my ac• tions.

Teach me, O my God, the wisdom of falvation, and let me understand thy will, and way of proceeding in dealing with my foul. In all my fufferings, I find that this gives me ease, and makes me able quietly

to

to fubmit, while thou doft tell my foul," It is thy will I fhould thus fuffer;" for in fubmitting to thy will, I hope to please thee; and in gaining thy favour, I gain more than the world can make me lofe. Farewell then all projects and vain contrivances; this is the will of my God; this must be best for my foul; here I will stay, and here will I • fubmit.'

The great benefit of these fevere trials from fickness and other afflictions, he expreffes in the following meditation, compofed foon after the former.

O Lord, thou didst bring the wife heathen to the knowledge of thy Son, by the leading of a ftar: how early didft thou make 'them partakers of this great bleffing! whose minds have duly improved their natural light, thou didst form by thy bleffed Spirit to that degree of faving humility, that they 6 were not offended at the meannefs of our Saviour's circumftances. Had not that exceeding great joy, wherewith they were tranfported, when they faw the flar conducting them to the place where our Sa'viour lay, buried all carnal affections in them, the pride of their heart would have • made them have flung back, as Naaman did from Elifha, faying, furely we thought to have found fome great prince richly attended, and in defpight of the heavenly fignal, counted all but a delufion, and have refused to have fubmitted their reafon to so

great