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And, though I can't pựt off a woeful mien,
Will be all mirth and cheerfulness within:
As, in despight of a censorious race,
I most incontinently suck my face.
What mighty projects does not he design,
Whose stomach flows, and brain turns round with wine?
Wine, powerful wine, can thaw the frozen cit,
And fashion him to humour and to wit;
Makes even S**** to disclose his art,
By racking every secret frorn his heart,
As he Rings off the statesman's sly disguisa
To name the cuckold's wife with whom he lies.
Ev'n Sarum, when he quaffs it stead of tea,
Fancies himself in Canterbury's see,
And S****** when he carousing reels,
Imagines that he has regain'd the seals :
W*****, by virtue of its juice, can fight, 125
And Stanhope of commissioners make light.
Wine gives lord William aptitude of parts,
And swells him with his family's deserts :
Whom can it not make eloquent of speech :
Whom in extremest poverty not rich?
130 Since, by the means of the prevailing grape, Th****n can Lechmere's warmth not only ape, But, half-seas-o’er, by its inspiring bounties, Can qualify himself in several counties. What I have promis'd, thou mayst rest assurd, 135 Shall faithfully and gladly be procur'd. Nay, I'm already better than my word, New plates and knives adorn the jovial board :
And, left thou at their fight shouldst make wry faces,
The girl has scower'd the pots, and wash'd the glasies,
Ta'en care so excellently well to clean 'em,
That thou mayst see thine own dear picture in 'em.
Moreover, due provision has been made,
That conversation may not be betray'd;
I have no company but what is proper
To fit with the moft flagrant Whig at fupper.
There's not a man among them but muit please,
Since they ’re as like each other as are peas.
Toland and Hare have jointly fent me word,
They'll come; and Kenner thinks to make a third, 150
Provided he 'as no other invitation,
From men of greater quality and flation.
Room will for Oldmixon and J-s be left ;
But their discourses smell too much of theft:
There would be no abiding in the room,
155 Should two luch ignorant pretenders come. However, by this truity bearer write, If I should any other scabs invite ; Thoug'ı if I may my serious judgement give, I'm wholly for King Charles's number five : 160 That was the stint in which that monarch fix’d, Who would not be with noisiness perplex'd : And that, if thou 'lt agree to think it veft, Shall be our tale of heads, without one other gues.
I've nothing more, now this is said, to say, 165 But to request thou ’lt instantly awar, And leave the duties of thy prefent poft, To some well-ikill'd retainer to a lost; VOL. I.
Doubtless he 'll carefully thy place supply,
And o'er his grace's horses have an eye.
170 While thou, who'st Dunk through postern more than
Doft by that means avoid a croud of duns,
And, crossing o'er The Thames at Temple-stairs,
Leav'st Philips with good words to cheat their ears.
TO LORD HARLEY, on his MARRIAGE, 1713.
AMONG the numbers who employ
Their tongues and pens to give you joy,
Dear Harley! generous youth, admit
What friendship dictates more than wit.
Forgive me, when I fondly thought
(By frequent observations taught)
A spirit fo inform’d as yours
Could never prosper in-amours.
The God of Wit, and Light, and Arts,
With all acquir'd and natural parts,
Whose harp could savage beasts enchant,
Was an unfortunate gallant.
Had Bacchus after Daphne reeld,
The Nymph had soon been brought to yield:
Or, had embroider'd Mars pursued,
The Nymple would ne'er have been a prude.
Ten thousand footsteps, full in view,
Mark out the way where Daphne flew :
For such is all the sex's flight,
They Ay from learning, wit, and light:
They Ay, and none can overtake
But some gay coxcomb, or a rake.
How then, dear Harley, could I guess
That you should meet, in love, success?
For, if those antient tales be true,
Phæbus was beautiful as you :
Yet Daphne never slack'd her pace,
For wit and learning spoild his face.
And, fince the same resemblance held
In gifts wherein you both excell’d,
I fancy'd every nymph would run
From you, as from Latona's son.
Then where, faid I, shall Harley find
A virgin of superior mind,
With wit and virtue to discover,
the merit of her lover ?
This character shall Ca’endish claim,
Born to retrieve her sex's fame.
The chief among the glittering crowd,
Of titles, birth, and fortune proud,
(As fools are insolent and vain),
Madly aspir’d to wear her chain :
But Pallas, guardian of the Maid,
Descending to her charge's aid,
Held out Medusa's snaky locks,
Which stupify'd them all to stocks.
The Nymph with indignation view'd
The dull, the noisy, and the lewd :
For Pallas, with celestial light,
Had purify'd her mortal sight;
Shew'd her the virtues all combin’d,
Fresh blooming, in young Harley's mind.
Terrestrial nymphs, by former arts,
Display their various ners for hearts :
Their looks are all by method fet,
When to be prude, and when coquette;
Yet, wanting skill and power to chuse,
Their only pride is to refuse.
But, when a goddess would bestow
lier love on some bright youth below,
Round all the earth the casts her eyes;
And then, descending from the skies,
Makes choice of him the fancies best,
And bids the ravish'd youth be bless’d.
Thus the bright Empress of the Morn
Chose, for her spouse, a mortal born :
The Goddess made advances first;
Else what aspiring hero durst ?
Though, like a virgin of fifteen,
She blushes when by mortals seen ;
Still blushes, and with speed retires,
When Sol pursues her with his fires.
Diana thus, Heaven's chastest queen,
Struck with Endymion's graceful mien,
Down from her filver chariot came,
And to the Shepherd own’d her flame.
Thus Ca’endish, as Aurora bright,
And chafter than the Queen of Night,
Descended from her sphere to find
A mortal of superior kind.