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Laftly, That she went into the infirmary, to avoid a particular person who took upon him to profess an admiration of her.

She therefore prayed, that to applaud out of due place might be declared an offence, and punished in the fame manner with detraction, in that the latter 'did but report perfons defective, and the former made ⚫ them fo.

'All which is fubmitted, &c.'

There appeared a delicacy and fincerity in this memorial very uncommon, but my friend informs me, that the allegations of it were groundless, infomuch that this declaration of an averfion to being praised, was underflood to be no other than a fecret trap to purchase it, for which reafon it lies ftill on the table unanswered.

The humble Memorial of the Lady Lydia Lollar, • Sheweth,

• THAT the lady Lydia is a woman of quality; married to a private gen leman.

That he finds herfeif neither well nor ill.

That her husband is a clown.

• That lady Lydia cannot fee company.

That the defires the infirmary may be her apartment during her ftay in the country.

That they would please to make merry with their equals.

That Mr. Loller might stay with them if he thought • fit.'

It was immediately refolved, that lady Lydia was ftill at London.

The humble Memorial of Thomas Sudden, Efq; of the Inner Temple,

Sheweth,

THAT Mr. Sudden is confcious that he is too much given to argumentation.

• That he talks loud.

That he is apt to think all things matter of de

• bate.

That he stayed behind in Westminster-hall, when the late shake of the roof happened, only because a counfel of the other fide afferted it was coming • down.

That he cannot for his life confent to any thing. That he stays in the infirmary to forget himself. That as foon as he has forgot himself, he will wait on the company."

His indifpofition was allowed to be fufficient to require a ceffation from company..

The Memorial of Frank Jolly,

• Sheweth,

THAT he hath put himself into the infirmary, in regard he is fenfible of a certain ruftic mirth which ⚫ renders him unfit for polite conversation.

That he intends to prepare himself by abstinence • and thin diet to be one of the company.

That at present he comes into a room, as if he were an exprefs from abroad.

That he has chofen an apartment with a matted anti-chamber, to practise motion without being • heard.

That he bows, talks, drinks, eats, and helps himfelf, before a glafs, to learn to act with modera

• tion.

That by reafon of his luxuriant health he is oppreffive to perfons of compofed behaviour.

That he is endeavouring to forget the word “ pihaw, pfhaw."

That he is alfo weaning himself from his cane.

That when he has learnt to live without his faid cane, he will wait on the company, &c.'

The Memorial of John Rhubarb, Efq;

• Sheweth,

THAT your petitioner has retired to the infirmary, but that he is in perfect good health, except that he has by long ute, and for want of dif course, contracted an habit of complaint that he is • fick.

That he wants for nothing under the fun, but what to fay, and therefore has fallen into this unhappy malady of complaining that he is fick.

That this cuftom of his makes him, by his own confeffion, fit only for the infirmary, and therefore he ' has not waited for being fentenced to it.

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That he is confcious there is nothing more improper than fuch a complaint in good company, in that they muft pity, whether they think the lamenter ill or not; and that the complainant muft make a filly figure, whether he is pitied or not.

Your petitioner humbly prays, that he may have 'time to know how he does, and he will make his ap'pearance.'

'The Valetudinarian was likewife eafily excufed: and this fociety being refolved not only to make it their bufinefs to pass their time agreeably for the prefent feafon, but also to commence fuch habits in themfelves as may be of use in their future conduct in general, are very ready to give into a fancied or real incapacity to join with their measures, in order to have no humorist, proud man, impertinent, or fufficient fellow, break in upon their happiness. Great evils feldon happen to disturb company; but indulgence in particularities of humour, is the feed of making half our time hang in fufpenfe, or waste away under real difcompofures.

Among other things it is carefully provided, that 'there may not be difagreeable familiarities. No one is 6 to appear in the public rooms undreffed, or enter abruptly into each other's apartment, without intimation. Every one has hitherto been fo careful in his behaviour, that there has but one offender in ten days

time been fent into the infirmary, and that was for throwing away his cards at whitt.

He has offered his fubmiffion in the following

terms.

The humble Petition of Jeoffry Hotspur, Efq;

• Sheweth,

THOUGH the petitioner fwore, ftamped, and threw down his cards, he has all imaginable refpect for the ladies, and the whole company.

That he humbly defires it may be confidered, in the cafe of gaming, there are many motives which provoke to diforder.

That the defire of gain, and the defire of victory, are both thwarted in lofing.

That all converfations in the world have indulged human infirmity in this cafe.

Your petitioner therefore most humbly prays, that he may be reftored to the company, and he hopes to bear ill fortune with a good grace for the future, and to demean himself fo as to be no more than chearful when he wins, than grave when he loses.'

N 430.

Monday, July 14.

Quare peregrinum vicinia rauca reclamat.

T.

HOR. Ep. 17. 1. 1. v. 62.

-The croud replies

Go feek a stranger to believe thy lies. CREECH.

SIR,

As you are a Spectator-general, you may with

authority cenfure whatfoever looks ill, and is offenfive to the fight; the worft nuifance of which kind, methinks, is the fcandalous appearance of poor in all parts of this wealthy city. Such miferable objects affect the compaffionate beholder with difinal

137 ideas, difcompofe the chearfulness of his mind, and deprive him of the pleafure that he might otherwise take in furveying the grandeur of our metropolis. • Who can without remorfe fee a disabled failor, the purveyor of our luxury, deftitute of neceffaries ? Who can behold an honeft soldier, that bravely withftood the enemy, proftrate and in want among his friends? It were endless to mention all the variety of wretchedness, and the numberless poor that not only fingly, but in companies, implore your charity. Spec⚫tacles of this nature every where occur; and it is unaccountable, that amongst the many lamentable cries that infeft this town, your Comptroller-general fhould not take notice of the most shocking, viz. thofe of the needy and afflicted. I cannot but think he waved it meerly out of good breeding, chufing rather to ftifle his refentment, than upbraid his countrymen with inhumanity; however, let not charity be facrificed to popularity, and if his ears were deaf to their complaints, let not your eyes overlook their perfons. There are, I know, many impoftures among them. Lameness and blindness are certainly very often acted; but can ⚫ thofe that have their fight and limbs, employ them ⚫ better than in knowing whether they are counterfeited or not? I know not which of the two mifapplies his • senses most, he who pretends himself blind to move compaffion, or he who beholds a miferable object without pitying it. But in order to remove fuch im⚫ pediments, I wish, Mr. SPECTATOR, you would give us a difcourfe upon beggars, that we may not pafs by true objects of charity, or give to impoftors. I looked out of my window the other morning earlier than ordinary, and faw a blind beggar, an hour before the paffage he ftands in is frequented, with a needle and thread, thriftily mending his ftockings: my aftonishment was ftill greater, when I beheld a lame fellow, whofe legs were too big to walk within an hour after, bring him a pot of ale. I will not mention the fhakings, distortions, and convulfions, which many of them practise to gain an alms: but fure I am, they ought to be taken care of in this condition, either by the beadle or the magiftrate. They, it feems, relieve