A hog, Sylvanus, sacrifice to thee,

And bathe in public for the farthing fee?—
O, never may the partner of my bed,
With subtleties of logic stuff her head;
Nor whirl her rapid syllogisms around,
Nor with imperfect enthymemes confound!
Enough for me, if common things she know,
And have the little learning schools bestow.
I hate the female pedagogue, who pores
O'er her Palæmon hourly; who explores

VER. 663. O, never may the partner of my bed, &c.] In the WIFE, by Sir Thomas Overbury, there is a stanza on this subject, which, whatever may be thought of this poetry, is not deficient in good sense :

How superior is this (I do not mean in poetry, but in just and liberal thinking)

to the following:

Σοφην δε μισων Μη γαρ γ' εμοις δόμοις

Είη φρόνεσα πλείον, η γυαικα χρηνα

Το γαρ πανέργον μαλλον εντίκτει Κύπρις

Εν ταις σοφαίσιν.

VER. 670. O'er ber Palamon, &c.] For Palamon, See Sat. v11.

Eurip. Hip.

All modes of speech, regardless of the sense,
But tremblingly alive to mood and tense:
Who, when I speak, corrects my homely phrase,
By some old canticle of Numa's days,

To me unknown; and, by the book, amends
The verbal slips of her provincial friends,

Which I scarce mark'd: 'tis well; but let me make
A solecism, uncheck'd, for heaven's sweet sake!
A woman stops at nothing, when she wears
Rich emeralds round her neck, and, in her ears,
Pearls of enormous size; these justify

Her faults, these make all lawful in her eye.
Sure, of all ills with which the state is curst,
A wife, who brings you money, is the worst.
Behold! her face a spectacle appears,

Bloated, and foul, and plaister'd to the ears

VER. 681. Pearls of enormous size;] Magnos elenchos. It is not easy to say what these were: the scholiast calls them uniones, margaritas oblongas; the modern commentators, oval, oblong, and pear-shaped pearls. Holyday quaintly translates the word, eye-checking, because, as he says, sλyx sometimes signifies to check, or reprehend! I incline to think that elenchus did not signify a single pearl for the ear, but a drop, formed of several; for that such were worn and admired in Juvenal's time, may be readily proved. The following passage in Seneca, de Beneficiis, seems to me much to the purpose; Video uniones non singulos singulis auribus comparatos; (jam enim exercitatæ aures oneri ferendo sunt ;) junguntur inter se, et insuper alii bini suppanguntur. Non satis muliebris insania viros subjecerat, nisi, bina, ac terna patrimonia singulis auribus pependissent !

With viscous pastes :-the husband looks askew,
And sticks his lips in this detested glew.

Still to the adulterer, sweet and clean she goes,
(No sight offends his eye, no smell his nose,)
But rots in filth at home, a very pest,

And thinks it loss of leisure to be drest.

For him she breathes of nard, for him alone,

She makes the sweets of Araby her own;

VER. 687. With vicous pastes, &c.] Ariosto had this passage in his thoughts, when he wrote the following lines:

"Se sapesse Ercolan dove la labbia

"Pon quando bacia Lidia, avria più a schivo
"Che se baciasse un cul marcio di scabbia;

"Non sà che 'l liscio è fatto col salivo

"Delle Giudee"

but the old bard grows quite abominable as he proceeds.

VER. 689. Still to the adulterer, &c.] Le Grange fancies that Juvenal had Lucilius in view in this place:

46

Quom tecum est, quidvis satis est; visuri alieni
"Sint homines, spiram, pallas, redimicula promit.”

Sat. xv.

This is not unlikely but I believe the more immediate subject of his imitation, was the following passage of Tibullus, Lib. 1. El. ix. 67.

"Tune putas illam pro te disponere crines,

"Aut tenues denso pectere dente comas? "Ista hæc persuadet facies, auroque lacertos "Vinciat, et Tyrio prodeat apta sinu ?

For him, at length, she ventures to uncase
Her person; scales the rough-cast from her face, `
And (while her maids to know her now begin)...
Washes, with asses' milk her frowzy skin;

VER. 696.

"Non tibi, sed juveni cuidam vult bella videri;
"Devoveat pro quo remque, domumque tuam.”

· scales the rough-cast from her face,] Thus, too, Tibellus,

"Et faciem, dempta pelle, referre novam."

Scaliger, speaking of this renewing of faces, has a most ungallant observation. I thought, says he, nostro tempore tantum boc incepisse; sed, quantum video, non minus illæ veteres lupa insaniebant, quam bæ nostræ ætatis.

VER. 698. Washes with asses' milk, &c.] For this refinement in luxury, as well as for the "viscous paste" mentioned above, the Roman ladies were indebted to the younger Poppaa, the mistress, and finally the wife, of Nero; who avenged the cause of two husbands, whom she had abandoned, by a kick which occasioned her death.

Poppaa," Stapylton says, "was so careful to preserve her beauty, that, when she went into banishment, she carried fifteen" (the scholiast says fifty) "she-asses along with her, for their milk to wash in." I will not vouch for the truth of this anecdote; but that Poppea was profusely extravagant, in every thing which related to her person, is undoubted. Here is Xiphilinus's account: Η δε Σαβίνη αυτη έτως ὑπερετρύφησεν, ώστε τας τε ημίονες τας αγέσας αυτην επι χρυσα οπαρτία ὑποδειςθαι, καὶ ονες πεντακοσίας αρτίτοκες καθ' ἡμεραν αμελγεςθαι,

& Tw Y¤haxтI AUTWY Yuntai, Lib. 1.X11. 28. Here we find that she had not fifteen, as Stapylton, or fifty, as the scholiast, says; but five hundred she-asses in her suite!

Apropos of the scholiast. He has furnished Reimarus with a notable opportunity of displaying his critical sagacity. Nugatur S. aut certè miserè corruptus

Asses, which, exiled to the Pole, the fair,
For her charms' sake, would carry with her there.
But tell me yet; this thing, thus daub'd and oil'd,
Thus poultic'd, plaister'd, bak'd by turns and boil'd,
Thus with pomatums, ointments, lacquer'd o'er,
Is it a FACE, Ursidius, or a SORE?

'Tis worth a little labour, to survey

Our wives more near, and trace 'em through the day.
If, dreadful to relate! the night foregone,
The husband turn'd his back, or lay alone,
All, all is lost; the house-keeper is stript,
The tire-maid chidden, and the chairman whipt;
Rods, cords, and thongs, avenge the master's sleep,
And force the guiltless house to wake, and weep.
There are, who hire a beadle by the year,
To lash their servants round; who, pleas'd to hear
Th' eternal thong, bid him lay on, while they,
At perfect ease, the silk-man's stores survey,
Chat with their female gossips, or replace
The crack'd enamel on their treacherous face.

Scribe

est, quinquagintas asinas Poppæam secuta esse "missam in exilium." quingentas, cum Dione, et Plinio; et missam in solium, quod est vas balneare. To exchange an error for an absurdity is too much. Certainly, the scholiast was no great critic; yet Reimarus must excuse me, if I still believe him incapable of saying that fifty asses followed Poppea into the bathing-tub!