Page images
PDF
EPUB

CHRIST OUR PEACE.

199

I feel, indeed, that I have made no sacrifice -have given up nothing, but rather that I have made a providential escape from the "pollutions of the world." Our Savior intended no evil to the young man, when he required of him as a condition of receiving him among his followers, that he would sell his large possessions and give the avails to the poor; for He knew how utterly inadequate the things of this world are, to afford substantial happiness. Christ alone can give peace and comfort to the soul. In His presence on earth, as well as in heaven, "there is fullness of joy." Wherever He is, in the humble cottage as well as in the noble mansion, there is a peace "which passeth all understanding, a joy this world can neither give nor take away." And it is only when we give up every other dependence and take Christ as our portion and our all-when emptied of ourselves, that we are "filled with all the fullness of God. When "His love is shed abroad in our hearts," by the Holy Ghost given unto us, then we can "taste

of the powers of the world to come," and "rejoice with a joy that is unspeakable and full of glory." In such moments, lost, as it were, in the boundless ocean of God's love, how poor and groveling to our enraptured souls, are all the pleasures and pursuits of this miserable world! How strangely infatuated the short lived race of sinful men, who have no higher aim than to be rich and great, to be envied and admired by mortals as weak and foolish as themselves, and who know no higher pleasures than those of the idolatrous children of Israel, who "sat down to eat and drink, and rose up to play."

You are doubtless surprised at my being a Methodist. In many places we are despised, ridiculed, and “ our names cast out as evil;" like the christians in the days of Paul, "as concerning this sect, we know that every where it is spoken against." I know not what may be your opinions, but for myself, I was formerly most strongly prejudiced against them. I looked upon them as visionary enthusiasts, and

REVERSING THE RULE OF FESTUS. 201

reversing the rule of Festus-I supposed that much ignorance had made them mad. It was rarely that I attended their preaching, and then, with little profit, for the "natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God; they are foolishness unto him." I was once a SKEPTIC, if you please, an unbeliever of the truth of divine revelation. Something more than a year since, my opinions were changed, and I became convinced that there was such a thing as experimental religion, but I had no conception what it was, or by what means the change of heart denominated "being born again," was effected. My own heart was naturally proud, hard, and unyielding. Domestic sorrows and afflictions-the agents of God's mercy, had softened and melted it down, and had, in some degree, humbled my pride and made me to feel that I was mortal. Still, was ignorant of myself, and knew not that I was "poor and miserable, and blind and naked," until one night, while lying upon my bed the vail was suddenly drawn aside, and I

I

was let into a full discovery of my own inward depravity and corruption. And what a charnel house! Self-esteem had given me an outward adorning, but within, there was nothing but uncleanness. The actions of my past life, which hitherto had appeared meritorious, had all sprung, I found, from pride, and selfishness, and vanity. Astonished at the picture which the mirror of the gospel reflected, and overwhelmed at the discovery which the light of divine truth revealed, I knew not at first what to do; but I, thank God, at length found my way to my closet, and in secret cried to the Lord for mercy. And I soon experienced a measure of relief, and began to think I had religion. There was, at least, a moral change in my feelings; I set a different estimate on the things of this world. The fear of God which is the "beginning of all wisdom," was continually before my eyes; and if I had not His love in my heart, I thought I loved my brethren." Like the house of Jacob, I sought the Lord daily, and took delight

DEGREES OF COMFORT.

203

in approaching to God, and at times he seemed "not very far off." But after all, there was an emptiness, an "aching void within," which nothing I had as yet tried, could fill. I was not satisfied, though Satan tempted me to believe all was safe. I was told there are various degrees of comfort, from a bare tranquility of mind, a peaceful calm, to that bounding, rapturous joy, which is "unspeakable and full of glory," according to the different temperaments of individuals; and as I sometimes felt the former, my spiritual advisers seemed to think I had actually passed from "death unto life." I was without doubt in the hands of UNSKILLFUL DOCTORS, and must have fallen a victim to their ignorance, had not the GREAT PHYSICIAN of souls, Himself, graciously undertaken my case. And, as if to humble my pride, he selected as an instrument of my cure the founder of that very sect which I so much despised. Turning over a volume of Wesley's sermons, I providentially came to one upon the "Witness of the Spirit," from Rom. 8: 19,

« PreviousContinue »