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« To ISAAC BICKERSTAFF, Esquire.
Kent, Nov. 22, 1710. “A gentleman in my neighbourhood, who happens to be brother to a lord, though neither his father nor grandfather. were so, is perpetually making use of this phrase, 'a person of my quality.' He has it in his mouth fifty times a day, to his labourers, his servants, his children, his tenants, and his neighbours. Wet or dry, at home or abroad, drunk or sober, angry or pleased, it is the constant burden of his style.
Sir, as you are Censor of Great Britain, as you value the repose of a loyal county, and the reputation of my neighbour, I beg you will take this cruel grievance into your consideration; else, for my own particular, I am resolved to give up my farms, sell my stock, and remove with my wife and seven children next spring to Falmouth or Berwick, if my strength will permit me, being brought into a very weak condition. I am, with great respect, Sir, your most obedient and languishing servant,” &c. Let this be 'referred to the Court of Honour.
“Mr. Bickerstaff, “I am a young lady of a good fortune, and at present invested by several lovers, who lay close siege to me, and carry on their attacks with all possible diligence. I know which of them has the first place in my own heart, but would freely cross my private inclinations to make choice of the man who loves me best; which it is impossible for me to know, all of them pretending to an equal passion
Let me, therefore beg of you, dear Mr. Bickerstaff, to lend me your Ithuriel's spear, in order to touch this troop of rivals; after which I will most faithfully return it to you again, with the greatest gratitude. I am, Sir, &c.”
Query 1. What figure doth this lady think her lover will appear in ? or what symptoms will he betray of his passion upon being touched ?
2. Whether a touch of her fan may not bave the same efficacy as a touch of Ithuriel's spear?
Great Lincoln's-Inn Square, Nov. 29. “ Honoured Sir,
Gratitude obliges me to make this public acknowledgment of the eminent service you have done myself in particular, and the whole body of chaplains, I hope, in general. Coming home on Sunday about dinner-time, I found things strangely altered for the better; the porter smiled in my face when he let me in, the footman bowed to me as I passed him, the steward shook me by the hand, and Mrs. Beatrice dropped me a courtesy as she went along. I was surprised at all this civility, and knew not to what I might ascribe it, except to my bright beaver and shining scarf, that were new that day. But I was still more astonished to find such an agreeable change at the table. My lord helped me to a fat slice of venison with his own hand, and my lady did me the honour to drink to me. I offered to rise at my
usual time; but was desired to sit still, with this kind expression, · Come, doctor, a jelly or a conserve will do you no harm; do not be afraid of the dessert.' I was so confounded with the favour, that I returned my thanks in a most awkward manner, wondering what was the meaning of this total transformation : but my lord soon put an end to my admiration, by shewing me a paper that challenged you, Sir, for its author; and rallied me very agreeably on the subject, asking me, Which was best handled, the lord or his chaplain ?' I owned myself to think the banter sharpest against ourselves, and that these were trifling matters, not fit for a philosopher to insist on.
His lordship was in so good a humour, that he ordered me to return his thanks with my own: and my lady joins in the same, with this one exception to your Paper, that the chaplain in her family was always allowed minced pies from Allhallows to Candlemas.
“I am, Sir,
“T. W." Requires no answer. “ Mr. Censor,
Oxford Nov. 27. “I have read your account of Nova Zembla with great pleasure, and have ordered it to be transcribed in a little hand, and inserted in Mr. Tonson's late edition of Hudibras. I could wish you would furnish us with more notes upon that author, to fill up the place of those dull annotations with which several editions of that book have been encumbered. I would particularly desire of you to give the world the story of Taliacotius, who makes a very eminent figure in the first canto; not having been able to meet with any account of the said Taliacotius in the writings of any other author. I am, with the most profound respect, the most humble of your admirers.
“Q. Z.” To be answered next Thursday, if nothing more material intervenes.
“ Mr. Censor, "In
your survey of the people, you must have observed crowds of single persons that are qualified to increase the subjects of this glorious island, and yet neglect that duty to their country. In order to reclaim such persons, I lay before you this proposal. “ Your most obedient servant,
" TH. CL.*" This to be considered on Satuday next.
* Thomas Clement.
N° 259. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 5, 1710.
Vexat censura columbas.
Juv. Sat. ii, 63. Censure acquits the crow, condemns the dove.
ANON. A Continuation of the Journal of the Court of Ho
nour, held in Sheer-lane, on Monday the twentyseventh of November, before ISAAC BICKER
STAFF, Esq. Censor of Great Britain. ELIZABETH MAKEBATE, of the parish of St. Catherine's, spinster, was indicted for surreptitiously taking away the hassock from under the lady GraveAirs, between the hours of four and five, on Sunday the 26th of November. The prosecutor deposed, “that as she stood up to make a courtesy to a person of quality in a neighbouring pew, the criminal conveyed away the hassock by stealth; insomuch, that the prosecutor was obliged to sit all the while she was at church, or to say her prayers in a posture that did not become a woman of her quality.” The prisoner pleaded inadvertency; and the jury were going to bring it in chance-medley, had not several witnesses been produced against the said Elizabeth Makebate, that she was an old offender, and a woman of bad reputation. It appeared, in particular, that, on the Sunday before, she had detracted from a new petticoat of Mrs. Mary Doelittle, having said, in the hearing of several credible witnesses, “that the said petticoat was scoured,” to the great grief and detriment of the said Mary Doelittle. There were likewise many evidences produced against the criminal, that though she never failed to come to church on Sunday, she was a most notorious sabbath-breaker; and that she spent her whole time, during divine service, in disparaging other's people's clothes, and whispering to those who sat next her. Upon the whole she was found guilty of the indictment, and received sentence, “to ask pardon of the prosecutor upon her bare knees, without either cushion or hassock under her, in the face of the court."
N. B. As soon as the sentence was executed on the criminal, which was done in open court with the utmost severity, the first lady of the bench on Mr. Bickerstaff's right-hand stood up, and made a motion to the court, « that whereas it was impossible for women of fashion to dress themselves before the church was half done; and whereas many confusions and inconveniences did arise thereupon; it might be lawful for them to send a footman in order to keep their places, as was usual in other polite and wellregulated assemblies.” The motion was ordered to be entered in the books, and considered at a more convenient time.
Charles Cambrick, linen-draper, in the city of Westminster, was indicted for speaking obscenely to the lady Penelope Touchwood. It appeared, that the prosecutor and her woman going in a stagecoach from London to Brentford, where they were to be met by the lady's own chariot, the criminal and another of his acquaintance travelled with them in the same coach, at which time the prisoner talked bawdy for the space of three miles and a half. The prosecutor alleged, “that over-against the Old Fox at Knightsbridge he mentioned the word linen : that at the further end of Kensington he made use of the term smock; and that, before he came to Hammersmith, he talked almost a quarter of an hour upon wedding-shifts.” The prosecutor's woman confirmed what her lady had said, and added further, " that she had never seen her lady in so great a confusion, and in such a taking as she was during the whole discourse of the criminal.” The prisoner had little