fo bodies of much weight and gravity, as it is manifest from those deep impreffions they make and leave upon us and therefore must be delivered from a due altitude, or elfe they will neither carry a good aim, nor fall down with a fufficient force:

Corpoream quoque enim vocem conftare fatendum eft,
Et fonitum, quoniam poffunt impellere fenfus *.
Lucr. lib. 4.

And I am the readier to favour this conjecture, from a common obfervation, that, in the feveral affemblies of thefe orators, nature itself hath instructed the hearers to ftand with their mouths open, and erected parallel to the horizon, fo as they may be interfected by a perpendicular line from the zenith to the centre of the earth. In which position, if the audience be well compact, every one carries home a share, and little or nothing is loft.

I confess, there is fomething yet more refined in the contrivance and ftructure of our modern theatres. For, first, the pit is funk below the stage, with due regard to the inftitution above deduced; that whatever weighty matter fhall be delivered thence, whether it be lead or gold, may fall plum into the jaws of certain critics, as I think they are called, which ftand ready opened to devour them. Then the boxes are built round, and raised to a level with the fcene, in deference to the ladies; because that large portion of wit laid out in raising pruriences and protuberances, is obferved to run much upon a line, and ever in a circle. The whining paffions, and little starved conceits, are gently wafted up, by their own extreme levity, to the middle region; and there fix, and are frozen by the frigid understandings of the inhabitants. Bombaftry and buffoonry, by nature lofty? and light, foar highest of all; and would be loft in the roof, if the prudent architect had not, with much forefight, contrived for them a fourth place called the twelvepenny gallery, and there planted a fuitable colony, who greedily intercept them in their paffage...

'Tis certain then, that voice that thus can wound,
Is all material; body every found.

D 2

Now

Now this phyfico-logical fcheme of oratorial receptacles or machines, contains a great mystery; being a type, a fign, an emblem, a fhadow, a fymbol, bearing analogy to the fpacious commonwealth of writers, and to those methods by which they must exalt themselves to a certain eminency above the inferior world. By the pulpit are adumbrated the writings of our modern faints in Great Britain, as they have fpiritualifed and refined them from the drofs and groffnefs of fenfe and human reafon. The matter, as we have faid, is of rotten wood; and that upon two confiderations; because it is the qua lity of rotten wood to give light in the dark: and, secondly, becaufe its cavities are full of worms; which is a type with a pair of handles *, having a refpect to the two principal qualifications of the orator, and the two. different fates attending upon his works.

The ladder is an adequate fymbol of faction, and of poetry; to both of which fo noble a number of authors are indebted for their fame. Of faction t, because *

of poetrys

because its orators do perorare with a fong; and, becaufe climbing up by flow degrees, Fate is fure to turn them off before they can reach within many steps of the top; and because it is a preferment attained by transferring of propriety, and a confounding of meum and tuum.

Under the flage-itinerant are couched those productions defigned for the pleafure and delight of mortal man; fuch as, Sixpenny-worth of wit, Westminster drolleries, Delightful tales, Complete jefters, and the like; by which the writers of and for GRU B-STREET have

The two principal qualifications of a fanatic preacher, are, his inward light, and his head full of maggots; and the two different fates of his writings are to be burnt or worm-eaten.

Here is pretended a defect in the manufcript; and this is very frequent with our author, either when he thinks he cannot fay any thing worth reading; or when he has no mind to enter on the fubject; or when it is a matter of little moment; or perhaps to amufe his reader, whereof he is frequently very fond; or, laftly, with fome fatirical intention.

in these latter ages fo nobly triumphed over Time; have clipped his wings, pared his nails, filed his teeth, turned back his hour-glafs, blunted his fcythe, and drawn the hobnails out of his shoes. It is under this clafs I have prefumed to lift my present treatise, being juft come from having the honour conferred upon me, to be adopted a member of that illuftrious fraternity.

Now, I am not unaware, how the productions of the Grub-Street brotherhood have of late years fallen under many prejudices; nor how it has been the perpetual employment of two junior start-up focieties, to ridicule them and their authors, as unworthy their established poft in the commonwealth of wit and learning. Their own confciences will eafily inform them, whom I mean. Nor has the world been fo negligent a looker-on, as not to obferve the continual efforts made by the focieties of Grefham* and of Will's † to edify a name and reputation upon the ruin of OURS. And this is yet a * more feeling grief to us, upon the regards of tendernefs as well as of juftice, when we reflect on their proceedings not only as unjust, but as ungrateful, undutiful, and unnatural. For how can it be forgot by the world, or themselves, to fay nothing of our own records, which are full and clear in the point, that they both are feminaries, not only of our planting, but our watering too? I am informed, our two rivals have lately made an offer to enter into the lifts with united forces, and challenge us to a comparison of books, both as to weight and number. In return to which, with licence from our prefident, I humbly offer two anfwers. First, we fay, the propofal is like that which Archimedes made upon a finaller affair ‡, including an impoffibility in the practice; for where can they find fcales of capacity enough for the firft, or an arithmetician of capacity enough for the fecond? Secondly, we are ready to accept the challenge; but with this condition, that a third indif

* Gresham college was the place where the Royal fociety then met, from whence they removed to Crane court in Fleet-ftreet. + Will's coffeehouse in Covent garden was formerly the place where the poets ufually met; which, though it be yet fresh in memory, in fome years may be forgotten, and want this explanation.

Viz. About moving the earth.

ferent perfon be affigned, to whofe impartial judgmen it fhould be left to decide, which fociety each book, treatife, or pamphlet, do moft properly belong to. This point, God knows, is very far from being fixed at prefent: for we are ready to produce a catalogue of fome thousands, which in all common juftice ought to be intitled to our fraternity, but by the revolted and newfangled writers molt perfidiously afcribed to the others. Upon all which, we think it very unbecoming our prudence, that the determination fhould be remitted to the authors themselves; when our adverfaries, by briguing and caballing, have caused fo univerfal a defection from us, that the greatest part of our fociety hath already deferted to them, and our nearest friends begin to stand aloof, as if they were half- afhamed to own us.

This is the utmost I am authorised to say, upon fo ungrateful and melancholy a fubject; because we are extreme unwilling to inflame a controverfy, whofe continuance may be fo fatal to the interefts of us all; defiring much rather that things be amicably compofed; and we fhall fo far advance on our fide, as to be ready to receive the two prodigals with open arms, whenever they fhall think fit to return from their husks and their harlots; which, I think, from the prefent courfe of their ftudies*, they most properly may be faid to be engaged in; and, like an indulgent parent, continue to them our affection and our bleffing.

But the greatest maim given to that general reception which the writings of our fociety have formerly received, (next to the tranfitory ftate of all fublunary things), hath been a fuperficial vein among many readers of the prefent age, who will by no means be perfuaded to infpect beyond the surface and the rind of things: Whereas, wifdom is a fox, who, after long hunting, will at last cost you the pains to dig out; it is a cheefe, which, by how much the richer, has the thicker, the homelier, and the coarfer coat; and whereof, to a judicious palate the maggots are the belt: it is a fack-poffet, wherein the deeper you go, you will find it the fweeter. Wifdom is a hen, whofe ceckling we muft value and con

Virtuofo experiments, and modern comedies.

fider, because it is attended with an egg. But, then, laftly, it is a nut, which, unless you chufe with judgment, may coft you a tooth, and pay you with nothing but a worm. In confequence of these momentous truths, the Grubæan fages have always chofen to convey their precepts and their arts fhut up within the vehicles of types and fables; which having been perhaps more careful and curious in adorning, than was altogether neceffary, it has fared with these vehicles, after the ufual fate of coaches over-finely painted and gilt, that the tranfitory gazers have fo dazled their eyes, and filled their imaginations with the outward luftre, as neither to regard or confider the perfon or the parts of the owner within: A misfortune we undergo with fomewhat less reluctancy, because it has been common to us with Pythagoras, Efop, Socrates, and other of our predeceffors.

However, that neither the world, nor ourselves, may any longer fuffer by fuch misunderstandings, I have been prevailed on, after much importunity from my friends, to travel in a complete and laborious differtation upon the prime productions of our fociety; which, befides their beautiful externals for the gratification of fuperficial readers, have darkly and deeply couched under them the most finished and refined systems of all sciences and arts; as I do not doubt to lay open by untwisting or unwinding, and either to draw up by exantlation, or difplay by incifion.

This great work was entered upon fome years ago by one of our most eminent members. He began with the hiftory of Reynard the fox*; but neither lived to publifh his effay, nor to proceed farther in fo useful an attempt; which is very much to be lamented, because the difcovery he made, and communicated with his friends, is now univerfally received; nor do I think, any of the learned will difpute that famous treatife to be a complete body of civil knowledge, and the revelation, or rather the apocalypfe of all state-arcana. But the progrefs I have made is much greater, having already finished my

The author feems here to be mistaken; for I have feen a Latin edition of Reynard the fox above a hundred years old, which I take to be the original; for the reft, it has been thought by many people to contain fome fatirical defign in it. annotations