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to the fcrutiny, and picked out S, H, O, U, L, D, E, R; when the fame planet, enemy to their repofe, had wonderfully contrived, that a K was not to be found. Here was a weighty difficulty! But the diftinguishing brother, for whom we fhall hereafter find a name, now his hand was in, proved, by a very good argument, that K was a modern illegitimate letter, unknown to the learned ages, nor any where to be found in ancient manufcripts, "'Tis true" (faid he)" the word Calenda

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hath in Q. V. C. * been fometimes written with a "K; but erroneously; for in the best copies it has been ever fpelt with a C. And, by confequence, it was a grofs mistake in our language to spell knot with a K; "but that from henceforward he would take care it fhould be written with a C." Upon this all farther difficulty vanished; fhoulder-knots were made clearly out to be jure paterno; and our three gentlemen fwaggered with as large and as flaunting ones as the best.

What

But as human happiness is of a very short duration, fo in thofe days were human fashions, upon which it entirely depends. Shoulder-knots had their time; and we muft now imagine them in their decline: for a certain lord came just from Paris, with fifty yards of gold-lace upon his coat, exactly trimmed after the court-fashion of that month. In two days all mankind appeared closed up in bars of gold-lace +. Whoever durft peep abroad without his complement of gold-lace, was as fcandalous as a, and as ill received among the women. fhould our three knights do in this momentous affair? They had fufficiently strained a point already, in the affair of shoulder-knots. Upon recourfe to the will, nothing appeared there but altum filentium. That of the fhoulder-knots was a loofe, flying, circumftantial point; but this of gold-lace feemed too confiderable an alteration without better warrant; it did aliquo modo effentie adhærere, and therefore required a pofitive precept. But about this time it fell out, that the learned brother aforefaid had read Ariftotelis dialectica; and efpecially that

* Quibufdam veteribus codicibus: Some ancient manufcripts.

I cannot tell, whether the author means any new innovation by this word, or whether it be only to introduce the new methods of forcing and perverting fcripture. wonderful

wonderful piece de interpretatione, which has the faculty of teaching its readers to find out a meaning in every thing but itself; like commentators on the Revelations, who proceed prophets without understanding a fyllable of the text. Brothers, faid he, you are to be informed, that of wills duo funt genera, nuncupatory and fcriptory. That in the fcriptory will here before us, there is no precept or mention about gold-lace, conceditur: but, fi idem affirmetur de nuncupatoria, negatur. For, brothers, if you remember, we heard a fellow fay, when we were boys, that he heard my father's man fay, that he heard my father fay, that he would advife his fons to get gold-lace on their coats, as foon as ever they could procure money to buy it. By G-that is very true, cries the other; I remember it perfectly well, faid the third. And fo, without more ado, they got the largest gold-lace in the parifh, and walked about as fine as lords.

A while after, there came up, all in fashion, a pretty fort of flame-coloured fattint for linings; and the mercer brought a pattern of it immediately to our three gentlemen: An' pleafe your Worships, faid he, my Lord C, and Sir J. W. had linings out of this very piece last night. It takes wonderfully; and I shall not have a remnant left, nough to make my wife a pin-cushion, by to-morrow morning at ten a-clock. Upon this they fell again to rummage the will, because the prefent cafe alfo required a pofitive precept, the lining being held by orthodox writers to be of the effence of the coat. After long fearch, they could fix upon nothing to the matter in hand, ex

* By this is meant tradition, allowed to have equal authority with the fcripture, or rather greater.

+ This is purgatory, whereof he speaks more particularly hereafter; but here only to fhew how fcripture was perverted to prove it; which was done, by giving equal authority, with the canon, to Apocrypha, called here a codicil annexed.

It is likely the author, in every one of thefe changes in the brothers dreffes, refers to fome particular error in the church of Rome; though it is not easy, I think, to apply them all. But by this of flame coloured fattin, is manifeftly intended purgatory; by gold lace may perhaps be understood, the lofty ornaments and plate in the churches. The fhoulder-knots and filver fringe are not fo obvious, at leaft to me. But the Indian figures of men, women, and children, plainly relate to the pictures in the Romish churches, of God like an old man, of the virgin Mary, and our Saviour as a child.

cept

cept a fhort advice of their father in the will, to take care of fire, and put out their candles before they went to fleep *. This, though a good deal for the purpose, and helping very far towards felf-conviction, yet not feeming wholly of force to establish a command; (being refolved to avoid farther fcruple, as well as future occafion for fcandal), fays he that was the fcholar, I remember to have read in wills, of a codicil annexed; which is indeed a part of the will; and what it contains, bath equal authority with the rest. Now, I have been confidering of this fame will here before us; and I cannot reckon it to be complete for want of fuch a codicil. I will therefore faften one in its proper place very dextrously. I have had it by me fome time. It was written by a dog-keeper of my grandfather's † ; and talks a great deal, as good luck would have it, of this very flame-coloured futtin. The project was immediately approved by the other two; an old parchment fcroll was tagged on according to art, in the form of a codicil an nexed, and the fattin bought and worn.

Next winter, a player, hired for the purpose by the corporation of fringe-makers, acted his part in a new comedy, all covered with filver fringe; and, according to the laudable cuftom, gave rife to that fashion. Upon which, the brothers confulting their father's will, to their great aftonishment found thefe words: Item, 1 charge and command my faid three fins, to wear no fort of filver fringe upon or about their faid coats, &c, with a penalty, in cafe of difobedience, too long here to infert. However, after fome paufe, the brother fo often men-tioned for his erudition, who was well killed in criti-cifms, had found in a certain author, which he faid fhould be nameless, that the fame word, which in the will is called fringe, does alfo fignify a broom-flick; and doubtlefs ought to have the fame interpretation in this

That is, to take care of hell; and, in order to do that, to fubdue and extinguish their lufts.

+ I believe this refers to that part of the Apocrypha, where mention is made of Tobit and his dog.

This is certainly the farther introducing the pomps of habit and ornament.

The next fubject of our author's wit, is the gloffes and inter. pretations of fcripture, very many abfurd ones of which are allowed in the most authentic books of the church of Rome. W. Watton. paragraph..

paragraph. This another of the brothers difliked, be caufe of that epithet filver; which could not, he humbly, conceived, in propriety of fpeech, be reasonably applied to a broom-flick. But it was replied upon him, that this epithet was understood in a mythological and allegorical fenfe. However, he objected again, why their father fhould: forbid them to wear a broom-stick on their coats; a caution that seemed unnatural and impertinent. Upon which he was taken up fhort, as one that spoke irreve rently of a mystery; which doubtless was very useful and fignificant, but ought not to be over-curiously pried into, or nicely reafoned upon. And, in fhort, their father's authority being now confiderably funk, this expedient was allowed to ferve as a lawful difpenfation for wearing their full proportion of silver fringe.

A while after, was revived an old fashion, long antiquated, of embroidery with Indian figures of men, women, and children *. Here they remembered but too well, how their father had always abhorred this fashion; that he made feveral paragraphs on purpose, importing his utter deteftation of it, and beftowing his everlasting: curfe to his fons, whenever they should wear it. For all. this, in a few days, they appeared higher in the fashion than any body elfe in the town. But they folved the matter, by faying, that these figures were not at all the fame with thofe that were formerly worn, and were meant in the will. Befides, they did not wear them in the sense as forbidden by their father; but as they were a commendable custom, and of great use to the public. That thefe rigorous claufes in the will did therefore require fome allowance, and a favourable interpretation, and ought to be understood cum grano falis.

But fashions perpetually altering in that age, the fcholaftic brother grew weary of fearching farther evafions, and folving everlasting contradictions. Refolved therefore, at all hazards, to comply with the modes of the world, they concerted matters together, and as

*The images of faints, the bleffed virgin, and our Saviour an infant.

Ibid. Images in the church of Rome give him but too fair a handle, The brothers remembered, &c. The allegory here is di rect. W. Wotton.

greed

greed unanimously, to lock up their father's will in a Strong box, brought out of Greece or Italy, I have forgotten which; and trouble themselves no farther to examine it, but only refer to its authority whenever they thought fit. In confequence whereof, a while after, it grew a general mode to wear an infinite number of points, most of them tagged with filver. Upon which, the scholar pronounced ex cathedrat, that points were abfolutely jure paterno, as they might very well remember. It is true, indeed, the fashion prefcribed somewhat more than were directly named in the will; however, that they, as heirs general of their father, had power to make and add certain claufes for public emolument, though not deducible, totidem verbis, from the letter of the will; or else multa abfurda fequerentur. This was understood for canonical; and therefore on the following Sunday they came to church all covered with points.

The learned brother, so often mentioned, was reckoned the best fcholar in all that, or the next street to it; infomuch, as having run fomething behind-hand in the world, he obtained the favour of a certain lord †, to receive him into his houfe, and to teach his children. A while after, the lord died; and he, by long practice of his father's will, found the way of contriving a deed of conveyance of that house to himself and his heirs. Upon which he took poffeffion, turned the young 'fquires out, and received his brothers in their stead |.

SECT.

*The Papifts formerly forbad the people the use of scripture in a vulgar tongue; Peter therefore locks up his father's will in a frong box, brought out of Greece or Italy. Thefe countries are named, becaufe the New Teftament is written in Greek; and the vulgar Latin, which is the authentic edition of the Bible in the Church of Rome, is in the language of old Italy. W. Wotton. †The Popes, in their decretals and bulls, have given their fanc tion to very many gainful doctrines, which are now received in the church of Rome, that are not mentioned in fcripture, and are unknown to the primitive church. Peter accordingly pronounces ex cathedra, that points tagged with filver were abfolutely jure paterno; and fo they wore them in great numbers. W. Wotton.

This was Conftantine the Great, from whom the Popes pre tend a donation of St. Peter's patrimony, which they have been never able to produce.

Ibid. The bishops of Rome enjoyed their privileges in Rome

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