"extraordinary, as to furnish a great part in the remainder of this difcourfe, entered upon the matter with other thoughts, and a quite different fpirit. For the memory of Lord Peter's injuries produced a degree of hatred and spite, which had a much greater share of inciting him, than any regards after his father's commands; fince these appeared at beft only fecondary and fubfervient to the other. However, for this medley of humour he made a fhift to find a very plaufible name, honouring it with the title of zeal; which is perhaps the moft fignificant word that hath been ever yet produced in any language; as, I think, I have fully proved in: my excellent analytical difcourfe upon that fubject; wherein I have deduced a hiftori-theo-phyfi-logical account of zeal, fhewing how it first proceeded from a notion in-to a word, and from thence, in a hot fummer, ripened into a tangible fubftance. This work, containing three large volumes in folio, I defign very fhortly to publish by the modern way of fubfcription; not doubting but the nobility and gentry of the land will give me all poffible encouragement, having had already fuch a taste of what I am able to perform.

I record therefore, that brother Jack, brim-full of this miraculous compound, reflecting with indignation upon Peter's tyranny, and farther provoked by the defpondency of Martin, prefaced his refolutions to this purpose. What, faid he, a rogue, that locked up his drink, turned away our wives, cheated us of our fortunes, palmed his damned crufts upon us for mutton, and at last kicked us out of doors must we be in his fashions, with a pox -a raf cal, befides, that all the street cries out againft. Having thus kindled and inflamed himfelf as high as poffible, fpared no unmannerly reflections upon his character. They had recourfe to every kind of abufe that could reach him. And fometimes it was the work of Swift and his companions: fome times not a fyllable of it was his work; it was the work of one of his uncle's fons, a clergyman: and fometimes it was the work of a perfon, who was to be nameless. Each of these malicious conjectures reigned in its turn: and it will be found, that bold affertions, however false, almoft conftantly meet with fuccefs; a kind of triumph that would appear one of the fevereft inftitutes of fate, if time and truth did not foon obliterate all marks of the victory. Orrery.

H 3

and

and by confequence in a delicate temper for beginning a reformation, he fet about the work immediately, and in three minutes made more dispatch than Martin had done in as many hours. For, courteous reader, you are given to understand, that zeal is never fo highly obliged, as when you fet it a tearing; and Jack, who doted on that quality in himself, allowed it at this time its full fwing. Thus it happened, that stripping down a parcel of gold lace a little too hastily, he rent the main body of his coat from top to bottom; and whereas his talent was not of the happiest in taking up a ftitch, he knew no better way, than to darn it again with pack-thread and a skewer. But the matter was yet infinitely worse (I record it with tears) when he proceeded to the embroidery: for, being clumfy by nature, and of temper impatient; withal, beholding millions of stitches that required the niceft hand, and fedateft conftitution, to extricate; in a great rage he tore off the whole piece, cloth and all, and flung it into the kennel, and furiously thus continued his career: Ah, good brother Martin, faid he, do as I do, for the love of God; ftrip, tear, pull, rend, flay off all, that we may appear as unlike the rogue Peter as it is poffible. I would not, for an hundred pounds, carry the leaft mark about me, that might give occafion to the neighbours, of fufpecting that I was related to fuch a rafcal. But Martin, who at this time happened to be extremely flegmatic and fedate, begged his brother, of all love, not to damage his coat by any means; for he never would get fuch another: defired him to confider, that it was not their business to form their actions by any reflection upon Peter, but by obferving the rules prefcribed in their father's will: that he should remember, Pe ter was ftill their brother, whatever faults or injuries he had committed; and therefore they should by all means avoid fuch a thought, as that of taking measures for good and evil, from no other rule than of oppofition to him: that it was true, the teftament of their good father was very exact in what related to the wearing of their coats; yet was it no lefs penal and ftrict in prefcribing agreement, and friendship, and affection between them; and therefore, if ftraining a point were at all difpenfable, it would certainly be fo, rather to the advance of unity, than increase of contradiction..

Martin had still proceeded as gravely as he began; and doubtlefs would have delivered an admirable lecture of morality, which might have exceedingly contributed to my reader's repofe, both of body and mind, the true ultimate end of ethics; but Jack was already gone a flight-fhot beyond his patience. And as, in fcholaftic difputes, nothing ferves to roufe the spleen of him that oppofes, fo much as a kind of pedantic affected calmness in the re Spondent; difputants being for the most part like unequal fcales, where the gravity of one fide advances the lightnefs of the other, and causes it to fly up, and kick the beam: so it happened here, that the weight of Martin's arguments exalted Jack's levity, and made him fly out and fpurn against his brother's moderation. In fhort,. Martin's patience put Jack in a rage. But that which most afflicted him, was, to obferve his brother's coat fo well reduced into the state of innocence; while his own was either wholly rent to his fhirt; or those places... which had escaped his cruel clutches, were still in Peter's livery: fo that he looked like a drunken beau, half rifled by bullies; or like a fresh tenant of Newgate, when he has refufed the payment of garnish; or like a difcovered fhop-lifter, left to the mercy of Exchange wamen*; or like a bawd in her old velvet petticoat, refigned into the fecular hands of the mobile. Like any,, or like all of thefe, a medley of rags and lace, and rents and fringes, unfortunate Jack did now appear. He would have been extremely glad to fee his coat in the condition of Martin's, but infinitely gladder to find that: of Martin in the fame predicament with his. However,. fince neither of thefe was likely to come to pafs, he thought fit to lend the whole business another turn, and ' to dress up neceffity into a virtue. Therefore, after as

.

*The galleries over the piazzas in the Royal Exchange were formerly filled with hops, kept chiefly by women. The fame ufe was made of a building called the New Exchange in the Strand. This edifice has been pulled down; the hopkeepers have removed from the Royal Exchange into Cornhill, and the adja. cent streets; and there are now no remains of Exchange women, but in Exeter 'change, and they are no longer deemed the firit ministers of fashion," Hawkes

many

*

many of the fox's arguments as he could mufter up, for bringing Martin to reafon, as he called it, or, as he meant it, into his own ragged, bobtailed condition ;. and obferving he faid all to little purpofe; what alas ! was left for the forlorn Jack to do, but, after a million of fcurrilities against his brother, to run mad with spleen, and fpite, and contradiction? To be short, here begun a mortal breach between these two. Jack went im--mediately to new lodgings, and in a few days it was for certain reported, that he had run out of his wits. In a fhort time after, he appeared abroad, and confirmed the report by falling into the oddeft whimfies that ever a fick brain conceived..

And now the little boys in the streets began to falute him with feveral names. Sometimes they would call him Jack the Baldt; fometimes, Jack with a lantern‡; fometimes, Dutch Jack; fometimes, French Hugh**;. fometimes, Tom the Beggar ++; and fometimes, Knocking Fack of the North . And it was under one, or fome, or all of thefe appellations, which I leave the learned. reader to determine, that he hath given rife to the most› illuftrious and epidemic fect of Elifts, who, with ho-nourable commemoration, do still acknowledge the renowned JACK for their author and founder. Of whofe original, as well as principles, I am now advancing to gratify the world with a very particular account

Melles contingens cuncta lepore:

*The fox in the fable, who having been caught in a trap, and loft his tail, ufed many arguments to perfuade the rest to cut off theirs; that the fingularity of his deformity might not expofe him to derifion. Hawkef.

That is, Calvin, from calvus, bald.

All those who pretend to inward light.

Jack of Leyden, who gave rife to the Anabaptifts.

**The Hugonots.

++. The Gueufes, by which name fome Proteftants in Flan ders were called:

#John Knox, the reformer of Scotland.

SECT.

95

I

SECT. VII.

A digreffion in praise of digreffions.

Have fometimes heard of an Iliad in a nut-fhell; but it hath been my fortune to have much oftener seen a nut-fhell in an Iliad. There is no doubt that human life has received most wonderful advantages from both; but to which of the two the world is chiefly indebted, I shall leave among the curious, as a problem worthy of their utmost enquiry. For the invention of the latter, I think the commonwealth of learning is chiefly obliged to the great modern improvement of digreffions: the late refine ments in knowledge running parallel to thofe of diet in our nation, which, among men of a judicious taste, are dreffed up in various compounds, confifting in foups and olio's, fricaffées and ragoufts.

It is true, there is a fort of morofe, detracting, illbred people, who pretend utterly to difrelish these po lite innovations. And as to the fimilitude from diet, they allow the parallel; but are fo bold to pronounce the example itself, a corruption and degeneracy of taste. They tell us, that the fashion of jumbling fifty things together in a dish, was at first introduced in compliance to a depraved and debauched appetite, as well as to a crazy cons ftitution and to, fee a man hunting through an olio after the head and brains of a goofe, a widgeon, or a woodcock, is a fign he wants a stomach and digestion for more subftantial victuals. Farther, they affirm, that digreffions in a book are like foreign troops in a ftate, which argue the nation to want a heart and hands of its own; and often either fubdue the natives, or drive them into the most unfruitful corners.

But, after all that can be objected by these fuperci lious cenfors, it is manifeft, the fociety of writers would quickly be reduced to a very inconfiderable number, if men were put upon making books, with the fatal con finement of delivering nothing beyond what is to the purpose. It is acknowledged, that were the cafe the fame among us, as with the Greeks and Romans, when learning was in its cradle, to be reared, and fed, and

clothed