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following Larin epitaph: It was written by himself, and shews a moft unhappy misanthropic state of mind.
* Hic depositum est corpus
6. Jonathan Swift, S. T. P.;
- Si poteris,
Some Particulars concerning Dr. Swift., 7. 'Taken from Mrs. PIEKINGTON'S Memoirs.
RS. Pilkington's acquaintance with Dr. Swift
commenced from sending him the lines on his birth-day, vol. 7. p. 161. These the Dean received very kindly, and said, he would fee her whenever the pleased.
A few days after, she was introduced to the Dean in Dr. Delany's garden at Delville, by a gentlewoman. He faluted her, and alked the lady, if she was her daughter? The lady finiled, and said, she was Mrs. Pitkington. “What,” says he, " this poor liale child “ married! God help her, she is early engaged to " trouble.” The Dean engaging Mr. Pilkington to: preach for him at the cathedral next Sunday, invited her, with the rest of the company, to dinner. As the communion is administered every Sunday in St. Patrick's church, Mrs. Pilkington was charmed to fee with what. a becoming piety the Dean performed that holy fervice, which he had fo much at heart, that he wanted not the alistance of the liturgy, but went quite through it without ever looking on the book. He bowed at the table; which behaviour was censured, as favouring of popery. But this circumstance may vindicate him from the wicked afperfion of being deemed an unbeliever, fince it is plain he had the utmost reverence for the eucharist. Service being ended, the Dean was surrounded at the church-door, by a croud of poor ; to all of whom he gave charity, except an old woman, who held out a very dirty hand to him. He told her, very grayely, That though she was a beggar, water was not so scarce but she might have washed her hands. When they came to the deanry, the Dean kindly faluted Mrs. Pilkington, and, without allowing her time to sit down, bade her come and see his.library; but merrily told Mr. Pilkington, who was for following them, that he did not defire his company, ... Well,” faid he to her, ss I have " bronght you here to fhew you all the money I got " When I was in the miniftry, but don't steal any
of os it,”
so it.” “I won't indeed, Sir,” said she. So opening a cabinet,' he shewed her a parcel of empty drawers; “ Bless me,” says he, “ the money is flown." He theri opened his bureau, wherein he had a great number of curious trinkets of various kinds, some of which were presented to him by the Earl and Countess of Oxford, Lady Masham, and Lady Betty Germain. At Jaft coming to a drawer filled with medals, he bade her chuse two for herself; but he could not help smi: ling, when she began to poize them in her hands, chufing them by weight rather than antiquity.
At dinner, the Dean's behaviour was very humour ous He placed himself, at the head of his table, op posite to a great pier glass, so that he could see in the glafs whatever the servants did behind him. He was lerved entirely in plate, with great elegance. But the beef being over-roasted, put the company all in confasion. The Dean called for the cook.maid, and or. dered her to take the beef down stairs, and do it less. She answered, very innocently, that the could not. * Why, what fort of a creature are you,' says he, 4 to commit a fault which cannot be amended!” And turning to Mrs. Pilkington, he said very gravely, 16. That he hoped, as the cook was a woman of genius; 26he should, by this manner of arguing, be able, in
about a year's time, to convince her that she had ** better fend up the meat too little than-loo much ! done;" charging the men-fervants, whenever they imagined the meat was ready, they should take it, spit and all, and bring it up by force; promising to aid them in case the cook resisted.. Then turning his cyę on the looking-glass, he espied the butler opening a bortle of ale; and helping himself to the first glats, he a very kindly jumbled the rest together, that his master scand guests might all fare alike. " Ha! friend,” faid. the Dean, “ Sharp's the word, I find, you drank my * 4 ale, for which I stop two shillings of your boardwages
this week; før I scorn to be outdone in any 10 thing, even in cheating."; 9 Dinner being ended, the Dean thanked Mr. Pukinguton for his sermon; “I never,” said be, Preached Inny but twice in my life; and then they were not fer
" mons, but pamphlets." Mrs. Pilkington asked him, what might be the subject of them? He told her; they were against Wood's halfpence. Having asked Mr. and Mrs. Pilkington, if they could finoke; and being answered, that they did not;. ... 'Tis a sign," : faid he, " you were neither of you bred in the univers
sity of Oxford; for drinking and finoking are the “ first rudiments of learning taught there, and in these "two arts, no university in Europe can outdo them.” Having asked Mirs. Pilkington, if she had any faults ? “ Pray, Mr. Dean,” faid Dr. Delany, “why, will3 “ you be fo unpolite as to fuppofe Mrs. Pilkington has
any faults-?” “I'll tell you,” rej;Sied the Dean, when· ever I see a number of agreeable qualities in any per"fon, I am always fure they have bad ones fufficient " to pnize the scale." Mrs. Pilkington bowed, and tolds him, he did her great honour; in that copying. Bp. Berkeley, whom the bad frequently heard declares That when any speech was made to him, which might be construed either into a compliment or an affront, or that had two handles, he always took hold of the
The Dean then afked Mrs. Pilkington, if sae were a Queen, what the would chuse to have after dinner?; She answered, “ Your conversation, Siri", "Pooh,!!! faid he," I mean, what regale ?" "A difh of coffeeyi
, "Sir,” answered fhe.. Why then," said be, "I will
so far make you as happy as a Qucen; you fall “ have some in perfection for when I was chaplain 10+ " the Earl of Berkeley, who was in the government • here, I was so poor, I was obliged to keep a coffee " house, and all the nobility resorted to it to talk trea“ fon.” The Dean then fet about making the coffee; but the fire scorching his hand, he called to Mrs. Pile kington to reach him his glove ; and changing the cof. fee-pot to his left hand, held out his right one, ordering her to put the glove on it ; which accordingly the din; when taking up part of his gown to fan himself with, and acting in the character of a prudish lady, ke faid, " Well, I do not know what to think : women may 4 be honest that do such things; but, for my part, I! « never could bear to touch any man's fleth e except
“ my husband's: whom, perhaps,” (faid he) she wishased at the devil."
* Mr. Pilkington,” faid he, “ you would not tell " me your wife's faults, but I have found her out to “ be a don'd infolent, proud, unmannerly Ilut." “What has she done now ?" faid Mr. Pilkington « Done," faid the Dean ; " why nothing, but fat " there quietly, and never once offered to interrupt
me in making the coffee ; whereas a lady of modern “ good breeding would have struggled with me for $4 the coffee. •pot, till the bad made me fcald myself “ and her, and made me throw the coffee in the fire, " or perhaps at her head, rather than permit me to s take so much trouble for her.”
Mrs. Filkington staid at home with the Dean du. ring the time of the afternoon's service ; , and he made her read his Hiltory of the four last years of Q. Anne, asking her, at the conclusion of every period, whether. The underftood it ? " for. I would,” said he, « haver: “it intelligible to the meanest capacity; and if you "* comprehend it, 'tis possible every body may."
She accompanied the Dean to evening-prayers; and on their return to the deanry, he told Mr. and Mrs. Pilkington, that he gave them leave to day to suppers which, from him, was a fufficient invitation. The Dean then decanted a bottle of wine, and the last glass being muddy, he called to Mr. Pilkington to drink it; " for,” says he, “I always keep some
poor parfon to drink the foul wine for me. Mr. Pilkington entering into his humour, thanked him, and told him, he did not know the difference, but was glad to get a glass at any rate.
Why then;"faid the Dean, " you shan't; for I'll drink it myself.
*' Why pa--X take you, you are wifer than a' paltry curate, whom I asked to dine with me a few days a
go; for;- upon my making the same speech to him, " he told me he did not underltand such usage; and “ so walked off without his dinner.. By the fame to • ken, I told the gentleman who recommended him "to me, that the fellow was a blockhead, and I had ", done with him." The Deap then pilling his golden bottle-fcrew, told"