Oxford, which I did at Whitsuntide, 1742. But here I soon lost both power and form. I saw many places, was much in company, and grew more dead to the things of God, every day than other. I was truly glad to see London again; and the very first night began to consider, how I might recover my peace. But before I had executed any thing, I was seized with a fever. I looked up to God; but all was dark. With the trouble both of my body and mind, I really thought I should have gone distracted. Yet I was too self righteous to beg for mere mercy. All my cry was, Lord, give me health; and I will obey thee.'

"God did give me health; and I was more diligent than ever in going to church and sacrament; insomuch that on a week day, I have gone four or five times to church in a day. Yet sin was my master; although every time I fell into it I was condemned exceedingly. I began now to see, that my laughter and jesting were wrong. But I thought, if I left them, my friends would cast me off. So I went on sinning against light, and never finding peace for one whole day together.

"One day, being in great trouble of mind, and thinking, Where shall I find a man who lives up to the rules given by Kempis? It came strongly into my mind, 'Go to the Foundery.' Immediately I went, but with fear and trembling. Here I continued a constant hearer for above two months, before I spoke to one person belonging to it; which I purposely abstained from, that I might the more exactly observe the whole behaviour, both of yourself and those that heard you. And the more closely I examined, the more clearly I was convinced, These are the men I have been seeking so long.

"At last I was admitted into the society, and, after the usual trial, into the bands. I was now continually walking upon the wings of love. The life and power of religion was all my talk. I was not ashamed to declare it before all men; for the candle of the Lord constantly shone upon my head. At present, I find my soul continually hungering and thirsting after the Spirit's indwelling in me. I often find a solid peace, a serious watchfulness, a presence of mind, never confused or hurried; a sweet communion with God, good will toward all men, with much grief at their misery, but no fear. I can, with unaccountable boldness, yet with meekness and love, reprove the most daring sinner. And the more I obey this spirit, the more of it I feel; the more sensible I am of my own weakness, and at t..e same time filled with praise and amazement, to feel my strength in the Lord. W. B."

Sat. January 5, 1745.-Desiring to see once more our old acquaintance, Mr. Gambold, my brother and I called at James Hutton's. We found there not him, but Mr. S.: a new creature indeed! (though not in the Gospel sense!) So extreinely gay, easy, unconcerned; that one of the primitive Christians, instead of supposing him to be "at rest," as he termed it, "in the wounds of Jesus," would have judged, he had never heard of his name; much less of taking up his cross daily.

I had often wondered at myself, (and sometimes mentioned it to others,) that ten thousand cares, of various kinds, were no more weight or burden to my mind, than ten thousand hairs were to my head. Perhaps I began to ascribe something of this to my own strength. And thence it might be, that on Sunday, 13, that strength was withheld, and I felt what it was to be troubled about many things. One, and another, hurrying me continually, it seized upon my spirit more and more, till I found it absolutely necessary to fly for my life; and that without delay. So the next day, Monday, 14, I took horse and rode away for Bristol. Between Bath and Bristol, I was earnestly desired to turn aside, and

call at the house of a poor man, William Shalwood. I found him and his wife sick in one bed, and with small hopes of the recovery of either. Yet (after prayer) I believed they would "not die but live, and declare the loving kindness of the Lord." The next time I called, he was sitting below stairs, and his wife able to go abroad.

As soon as we came into the house at Bristol, my soul was lightened of her load, of that insufferable weight which had lain upon my mind, more or less for several days. On Sunday, several of our friends from Wales, and other parts, joined with us in the great sacrifice of thanksgiving. And every day we found more and more cause to praise God, and to give him thanks for his still increasing benefits. I found peculiar reason to praise God, for the state of the society both in Bristol and Kingswood. They seemed at last clearly delivered from all vain jangling, from idle controversies and strife of words, and "determined not to know any thing, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified."

Wed. 30.-All our family were at St. James's, our parish church. At twelve we met together, to pour out our souls before God, and to provoke each other to love and to good works. The afternoon I set apart for visiting the sick. Blessed be God, this was a comfortable day. Thur. 31.-I rode to Coleford, about twenty (real, twelve computed) miles south-east from Bristol. The colliers here were only not as famous as those at Kingswood were formerly. I preached near the road side; for the house could not contain a tenth part of the congregation. None opposed, or mocked, or smiled. Surely some of the seed is fallen upon good ground.

Mon. February 4.-I had the pleasure of receiving from Dr. Hartley, a particular account of Dr. Cheyne's last hours. During his last illness, he felt a gentle and gradual decay, so that he apprehended what the event would be. But it did not appear to give him any concern. He seemed quite loose from all below, till, without any struggle, either of body or mind, he calmly gave up his soul to God. Tues. 5.-We set out early, and the next day, at noon, met the little society at WindWe called at Brentford likewise; and, after a short stop, rode on, and reached London in the evening.

sor.

Sun. 17.—I laboured much with one of our brethren, whose eyes the Antinomians had just opened, and for the present he seemed to be convinced. But I doubt that conviction will not continue; it being not so easy to remove any one from that Gospel which flesh and blood hath revealed unto them. My exhorting the congregation here, not to consult with flesh and blood, but to attend the morning preaching, occasioned my receiving the following letter:—

"DEAR SIR,-For some time past I have been very negligent of coming ir a morning, though I have been often severely reproved in my own mind for omitting that, which I knew was my duty both to God and my brethren. And from time to time, when you have exhorted us to partake of so useful a privilege, I have always been condemned.

"A few days ago I set myself to consider, whence this slackness must proceed. And I soon saw, the root of it was, an evil heart of unbelief, departing from the living God, and, therefore, from his service. The pernicious branches of this I found to be ignorance and sloth. It was ignorance of myself that caused me to cry, 'Peace, peace;' and to say within myself, ‘I know enough, and am satisfic And while I was in

this state, pride, anger, lust, worldly mindedness, levity, and carelessness toward God and man, successively got the dominion over me, so that was no more like a Christian than like an angel. Yet I felt but little trouble for it, (save at times,) and thereby I sunk into a gulf of sloth, which got the dominion over me in such a manner, that I not only was content frequently to lie in bed till eight, but in the day time did not care. to stir one step forward, especially if it was to visit the sick or distressed. I was forced to drag myself to and fro, and a heavy load I was to myself And yet my eyes were so blinded, that I was scarce sensible of my sin The cross I could hardly bear naming; for being so used to shun it at all times, it became a very harsh word to me, and I did not love to hear of it. But, glory be to God, ever since this examination, I have been a little stirred up; though still I am in danger of this evil or any other. Lord, leave me not; for without thee I can do nothing!

"I find whenever I know myself poor, and miserable, and blind, and foolish; and while I have a deep sense of my want of love, humility, meekness, seriousness, and wisdom; I then am in earnest in every duty, particularly rising in the morning. But when I am inwardly careless and proud, full and wise enough, then I can very quietly neglect not only this, but every help which God has given me.

"And yet (to speak the whole truth) I am apt to attribute some part f my late sloth and slackness, to too smooth a doctrine, which, it seems to me, has been lately preached among us: I thought the doctrine of per fection, in all its parts, (perfect love, meekness, humility, resignation,) has not been so strenuously insisted on, as in times past, but only now and then mentioned in general terms: and hereby I was encouraged to be content in this groveling state, hanging between nature and grace, flesh and spirit. Then it was suggested, Lying in bed is not expressly forbidden in Scripture; nor is rising early expressly commanded.' Yet, glory be to God, I had power from him to resist and overcome this thought: and, being earnest with the Lord last night, this morning he did give me both a will and a power to break through, which I thankfully used, and came to meet my brethren at five, with primitive joy and satisfaction.

·

"W. B."

Mon. 18.-I set out with Richard Moss for Newcastle. Wed. 20. -Soon after we passed through Leicester, a gentleman of Leicester overtook us, and kept us company to Loughborough, dined with us there, then rode back to Leicester. His main business, I found, was to talk with me. He said, he had long been very low-spirited, had had the very best advice, and taken abundance of physic, and yet was as bad, or worse than ever. I explained his case to him at large, and advised him to apply to that Physician who alone heals the broken in heart. In the evening I preached to the little flock at Nottingham. Next day, William Holmes met us at Doncaster, and piloted us through the mire, and water, and snow, (lately fallen,) to Sykehouse. Finding the congregation ready, I began preaching as soon as I came in; and exhorted them to follow after the great gift of God. Several from Epworth met us here, and we rejoiced unto God with reverence.

Fri. 22.-There was so much snow about Boroughbridge, that we could go on but very slowly; insomuch, that the night overtook us when we wanted six or seven miles to the place where we designed to lodge. But we pushed on at a venture, across the moor, and about eight came safe to Sandhutton. Sat. 23.-We found the roads abundantly worse than they had been the day before; not only because the snows were deeper, which made the causeways in many places unpassable, (and

turnpike roads were not known in these parts of England till some years after,) but likewise because the hard frost, succeeding the thaw, had made all the ground like glass. We were often obliged to walk, it being impossible to ride, and our horses several times fell down while we were leading them, but not once while we were riding them, during the whole journey. It was past eight before we got to Gateshead Fell, which appeared a great pathless waste of white. The snow filling up and covering all the roads, we were at a loss how to proceed; when an honest man of Newcastle overtook and guided us safe into the town.

Many a rough journey have I had before, but one like this I never had; between wind, and hail, and rain, and ice, and snow, and driving sleet, and piercing cold: but it is past: those days will return no more, and are, therefore, as though they had never been.

On Monday and Tuesday I diligently inquired who were offended at each other; this being the sin which, of all others, most easily besets the people of Newcastle. And as many of them as had leisure to meet, I heard face to face. It was now an easy thing to remove their offences; for God was in the work; so that they were, one and all, as willing to be reconciled to each other, as I was to have them.

February 27.-(Being Ash Wednesday.) After the public prayers, the little church in our house met together. Misunderstandings were cleared up, and we all agreed to set out anew, hand in hand, and, by the grace of God, to forward one another in running the race which is set before us. Sun. March 3.-As I was walking up Pilgrim-street, nearing a man call after me, I stood still. He came up and used much abusive language, intermixed with many oaths and curses. people came out to see what was the matter; on which he pushed me twice or thrice, and went away. Upon inquiry, I found this man had signalized himself of a long season, by abusing and throwing stones at any of our family who went that way. Therefore I would not lose the opportunity, but on Monday 4, sent him the following note :

Several

"ROBERT YOUNG, I expect to see you, between this and Friday, and to hear from you, that you are sensible of your fault; otherwise, in pity to your soul, I shall be obliged to inform the magistrates of your assaulting me yesterday in the street. I am, your real friend, JOHN WESLEY."

Within two or three hours, Robert Young came, and promised a quite different behaviour. So did this gentle reproof, if not save a soul from death, yet prevent a multitude of sins.

Sun. 10.-We had a useful sermon at All Saints in the morning, and another at our own church in the afternoon. I was much refreshed by both, and united in love both to the two preachers, and to the clergy in general. The next day I wrote to a friend as follows:

"Newcastle-upon-Tyne, March 11, 1745 "I have been drawing up this morning a short state of the case between the clergy and us; I leave you to make any such use of it, as you believe will be to the glory of God.

"1. About seven years since, we began preaching inward, present sa!vation, as attainable by faith alone. 2. For preaching this doctrine, we were forbidden to preach in the churches. 3. We then preached in private houses, as occasion offered: and when the houses could not contain the people, in the open air. 4. For this, many of the clergy preached or printed against us, as both heretics and schismatics. 5. Persons who were convinced of sin, begged us to advise them more particularly how to flee from the wrath to come. We replied, if they would all come at one time (for they were numerous) we would endeavour it. 6. For this, we were represented, both from the pulpit and the press, (we have heard it with our ears, and seen it with our eyes,) as introducing Popery, raising sedition, practising both against Church and State; and all manner of evil was publicly said both of us, and those who were accustomed to meet with us. 7. Finding some truth herein, viz. that some of those who so met together walked disorderly, we immediately desired them not to come to us any more. 8. And the more steady were desired to overlook the rest, that we might know if they walked according to the Gospel. 9. But now several of the bishops began to speak against us, either in conversation or in public. 10. On this encouragement, several of the clergy stirred up the people to treat us as outlaws or mad dogs. 11. The people did so, both in Staffordshire, Cornwall, and many other places. 12. And they do so still, wherever they are not restrained by their fear of the secular magistrate.

"Thus the case stands at present. Now, what can we do, or what can you our brethren do, toward healing this breach? which is highly desirable, that we may withstand, with joint force, the still increasing flood of Popery, Deism, and immorality. Desire of us any thing we can do with a safe conscience, and we will do it immediately. Will you meet us here? Will you do what we desire of you, so far as you can with a safe conscience? "Let us come to particulars. Do you desire us, 1. To preach another, or to desist from preaching this, doctrine? We think you do not desire it, as knowing we cannot do this with a safe conscience. Do you desire us, 2. To desist from preaching in private houses, or in the open air? As things are now circumstanced, this would be the same as desiring us not to preach at all. Do you desire us, 3. To desist from advising those who now meet together for that purpose? Or, in other words, to dissolve our societies? We cannot do this with a safe conscience; for we apprehend many souls would be lost thereby, and that God would require their blood at our hands. Do you desire us, 4. To advise them only one by one? This is impossible because of their number. Do you desire us, 5. To suffer those who walk disorderly still to mix with the rest? Neither can we do this with a safe conscience; because evil communications corrupt good manners.' Do you desire us, 6. To discharge those leaders of bands or classes (as we term them) who overlook the rest? This is, in effect, to suffer the disorderly walkers still to mix with the rest, which we dare not do. Do you desire us, Lastly, To behave with reverence toward those who are overseers of the Church of God? And with tenderness, both to the character and persons of our brethren, the inferior clergy? By the grace of God we can and will do this. Yea, our conscience beareth us witness, that we have already laboured so to do; and that, at all times and in all places.

"If you ask what we desire of you to do, we answer, 1. We do not desire any one of you to let us preach in your church, either if you believe us to preach false doctrine, or if you have, upon any other ground, the least scruple of conscience concerning it. But we desire any who believes us to preach true doctrine, and has no scruple at all in this matter, may not be either publicly or privately discouraged from inviting us to preach in his church.