cabinet, he shewed her a parcel of empty drawers: "Blefs "me," fays he, "the money is flown." He then opened his bureau, wherein he had a great number of curious trinkets of various kinds, fome of which were prefented to him by the Earl and Countess of Oxford, Lady Masham, and Lady Betty Germain. At laft coming to a drawer filled with medals, he bade her chufe two for herfelf; but he could not help fmiling, when fhe began to poize them in her hands, chufing them by weight ra ther than antiquity.

Ar dinner the Dean's behaviour was very humorous. He placed himself at the head of his table oppofite to a great pier glass, so that he could fee in the glafs whatever the fervants did behind him. Turning his eye on the looking glass, he efpied the butler opening a bottle of ale; and helping himself to the first glass, he very kindly jumbled the reft together, that his mafter and guests might all fare alike. "Ha! friend," faid the Dean, "Sharp's the word, I find; you drank my ale, for which "I ftop two fhillings off your board wages this week; for "I fcorn to be out-done in any thing, even in cheating."

66

DINNER being ended, the Dean thanked Mr Pilkington for his fermon: " I never," faid he, “ 'preached but "twice in my life; and then they were not fermons, "but pamphlets." Mrs Pilkington asked him, what I might be the fubject of them? He told her, they were against Wood's halfpence. Having asked Mr and Mrs Pilkington if they could fmoke? and being anfwered, that they did not; ""Tis a fign," said he, you were "neither of you bred in the university of Oxford; for drinking and smoking are the first rudiments of learning taught there; and in those two arts no univerfity in Europe can outdo them." Having afked Mrs Pilkington, if he had any faults? "Pray, Mr Dean," faid Dr Delany, "why will you be fo unpolite as to fuppofe Mrs Pilkington has any faults?" I'll tell "you," replied the Dean; "whenever I fee a number "of agreeable qualities in any perfon, I am always fure

66

they have bad ones fufficient to poize the fcale." Mrs Pilkington bowed, and told him, he did her great honour; in that copying Bp Berkley, whom he had frequently heard declare, That when any speech was

made

made to him, which might be conftrued either into a compliment or an affront, or that had two handles, he always took hold of the best.

66

THE Dean then asked Mrs Pilkington, if he were a Queen, what fhe would chufe to have after dinner? She answered, "Your converfation, Sir " "Pooh !" faid he, "I mean, what regale." "A difh of coffee, "Sir," anfwered fhe. 66 Why then," faid he, “ I "will fo far make you as happy as a Queen; you shall "have fome in perfection: for when I was chaplain to "the Earl of Berkeley, who was in the government "here, I was fo poor, I was obliged to keep a coffee"houfe, and all the nobility resorted to it to talk trea"fon." The Dean then fet about making the coffee: but the fire fcorching his hand, he called to Mrs Pilkington to reach him his glove; and changing the coffee pot to his left hand, held out his right one, ordering her to put the glove on it; which accordingly the did; when taking up part of his gown to fan himfelf with, and acting in character of a prudifh lady, he faid, Well, I don't know what to think: women may be "honest that do fuch things; but, for my part, I ne"ver could bear to touch any man's flesh-except my hufband's; whom, perhaps," (faid he), "the wished at the devil.".

66

66.

66

"Mr Pilkington," said he, " you would not tell "me your wife's faults; but I have found her out to "be be a d-n'd infolent, proud, unmannerly flut." "What has the done now?" faid Mr Pilkington. Done," faid the Dean; "why nothing, but fat there quietly, and never once offered to interrupt me in making the coffee; whereas a lady of modern good breeding would have struggled with me for the cof"fee-pot, till fhe had made me fcald myself and her, " and made me-throw the coffee in the fire, or perhaps "at her head, rather than permit me to take fo much "trouble for her."

66

MRS Pilkington ftaid at home with the Dean during the time of the afternoon's fervice; and he made her read his history of the four laft years of Q. Anne, asking her at the conclufion of every period, whether fhe understood it?" for I would," faid he, " have it in

"telligible

telligible to the meanest capacity; and if you com"prehend it, 'tis poffible every body may."

SHE accompanied the Dean to evening-prayer; and on their return to the deanery, he told Mr and Mrs Pilkington, that he gave them leave to ftay to fupper ; which from him was a fufficient invitation. The Dean then decanted a bottle of wine; and the laft glafs being muddy, he called to Mr Pilkington to drink it; for," fays he, "I always keep fome poor parfon to drink the foul wine for me." Mr Pilkington entering into his humour, thanked him, and told him, he did not know the difference, but was glad to get a glass at any rate. Why then," faid the Dean, “ "fhan't; for I'll drink it myself. Why p-x take you, you are wifer than a paltry curate whom I afk"ed to dine with me a few days ago; for upon my ma

"

'you

king the fame fpeech to him, he told me he did not "understand fuch ufage; and fo walked off without his "dinner. By the fame token, I told the gentleman "who recommended him to me, that the fellow was a "blockhead, and I had done with him."

it.

THE Dean then miffing his golden bottle-fcrew, told Mrs Pilkington very fternly, he was fure the had ftolen She affirmed very ferioufly, fhe had not. Upon which he looked for it, and found it where he himself had laid it: ""Tis well for you," faid he, "that I "have got it, or I would have charged you with theft." Why, pray, Sir," faid fhe, " fhould I be suspected more than any other perfon in the company ?" "For a very good reason," said he, "because you are the "pooreft."

Ar their going away, the Dean handed Mrs Pilkington down all the fteps to the coach, thanking them for the honour of their company, at the fame time flipping into her hand as much money as Mr Pilkington and the had given at the offering in the morning, and coachhire alfo; which the durft not refufe, left the fhould have been deemed as great a blockhead as the parson who refused the thick wine.

IN one of the Dean's periodical fits of deafness, he fent for Mrs Pilkington; who having come, he brought out to her a large book, finely bound in turkey leather,

and

and handsomely gilt: This, faid he, "is a tranfla"tion of the epiftles of Horace, a prefent to me from "the author; 'tis a fpecial good cover; but I have a "mind there should be fomething valuable within fide "of it" So taking out his penknife, he cut out all the leaves close to the inner margin. "Now," faid he,

"I will give thefe what they greatly want;" and put them all into the fire "Your task, Madam, is to paste "in these letters, in this cover, in the order I fhall give "them to you: I intended to do it myself, but that I "thought it might be pretty amusement for a child : "fo I fent for you." She told him, fhe was extremely proud to be honoured with his commands; but requefted to have leave to read the letters as fhe went on. "Why," faid the Dean," provided you will acknow"ledge yourself amply rewarded for your trouble, I "don't much care if I indulge you so far "

In reading the letters, fhe could not avoid remarking to the Dean, that, notwithstanding the friendship Mr Pope profeffed for Mr Gay, he could not forbear a great many fatirical, or, if the might be allowed to fay fo, envious remarks on the fuccefs of the Beggar's opera. The Dean very frankly owned, he did not think Mr Pope was fo candid to the merit of other writers as he ought to be. She then ventured to ask the Dean, whether he thought the lines Mr Pope addresses him with in the beginning of the Dunciad, were any compliment to him viz.

O thou! whatever title please thine ear.

"I believe," faid he, "they were meant as fuch, but they are very stiff." "Indeed, Sir," faid fhe, "he is fo perfectly a master of harmonious numbers, "that, had his heart been the leaft affected with his fubject, he must have writ better. How cold, how "forced, are his lines to you, compared with yours to " him!

Hail, happy Pope! whose gen'rous mind, &c.

vol. 6. p. 337.

VOL. I.

"Here

"Here we see the masterly poet, and the warm, fin"cere, generous friend; while he, according to the “character he gives of Mr Addison, damns with faint "praise." ""Well,” replied the Dean, "I'll fhew 66. you a late letter of his." He did fo; and Mrs Pilkington was furprised to find it filled with low and ungentleman-like reflections, both on Mr Gay, and the two noble perfons who honoured him with their patronage after his difappointment at court. "Well, Madam," said the Dean," What do you think of that "letter " (feeing the had gone quite thro' it.) "deed, Sir," (replied the,) "I am forry I have read

it; for it gives me reason to think there is no fuch "thing as a fincere friend to be met with in the "world."'" Why,” replied he, “authors are as jea"lous of their prerogative as kings; and can no more "bear a rival in the empire of wit, than a monarch "could in his dominions." Mrs Pilkington then obferving a Latin sentence writ in Italics, defired the Dean to explain it. "No," replied he, fmiling, I'll leave "that for your husband to do. I'll fend for him tó “dine with us, and in the mean time we'll go and take

a walk in Naboth's vineyard."" Where may that "be, pray, Sir?" faid fhe. "Why, a garden," faid the Dean, "I cheated one of my neighbours out of." When they entered the garden, or rather the field, which was fquare, and inclosed with a ftone wall, the Dean afked her how fhe liked it?" Why, pray, Sir," faid fhe, "where is the garden ?" "Look behind you," faid he. She did fo; and obferved the fouth wall was lined with brick, and a great number of fruit-trees planted against it, which being then in bloffom, looked very beautiful."What are you so intent on ?" faid the Dean, "The opening bloom," replied the; which brought Waller's lines to her remembrance.

Hope waits upon the flow'ry prime..

"Oh!" replied he, " you are in a poetical vein ; I thought you had been taking notice of my wall, Tis the beft in Ireland. When the mafons were building it, (as most tradesmen are rogues), I watch

ed