86 "ed them very clofe, and as often as they could, they "put in a rotten ftone; of which however I took no "notice, till they had built three or four perches be yond it, Now, as I am an abfolute monarch in the "liberties, and king of the mob, my way with them "was, to have the wall thrown down to the place "where I obferved the rotten tone; and, by doing fo "five or fix times, the workmen were at last convinced "it was their interest to be honest: "---- "Or else, Sir," faid Mrs Pilkington, "your wall would have been as " tedious a piece of work as Penelope's web, if all that was done in the day was to be undone at night.” "Well," answered the Dean, "I find you have poe 66 try for every occafion; but as you cannot keep pace "with me in walking, I would have you fit down on that little bank, till you are refted, or I tired, to put us s more upon a par." SHE feated herself, and away the Dean walked, or rather trotted as hard as ever he could drive. She could not help fmiling at his odd gait for the thought to her felf, he had written fo much in praife of horfes, that he was refolved to imitate them as nearly as he could. As fhe was indulging this fancy, the Dean returned to her, and gave her a strong confirmation of his partiality to those animals. "I have been confidering. Madam, as "I walked," faid he, "what a fool Mr Pilkington was "to marry you; for he could have afforded to keep a 1 66 horfe for lefs money than you cost him; and that, you "must confefs, would have given him better exercise " and more pleasure than a wife-Why, you laugh, " and don't answer me is not it truth?"-" I muk anfwer you, Sir," replied the, with another question: "Pray how can a bachelor judge of this matter?" "I • find,” said he, you are vain enough to give yourfelf the preference." I do, Sir," replied the," to that fpecies here; to a Houyhnhnm I would as be-comes me, give preference. But, Sir, 'tis going to rain."- -"I hope not," said he, "for that will cost me fixpence for a coach for you," (the garden being at some diftance from the house.) "Come, hafte; O how the * tefter trembles in my pocket!" She obeyed; and they got in a'doors juft time enough to efcape a heavy fhower. 66 k 2 Thank "Thank God," faid the Dean, I have faved my mo65. ney. Here, you fellow," (to the fervant), carry "this fixpence to the lame old man that fells ginger"bread at the corner, because he tries to do fomething, "and does not beg." MRS Pilkington was fhewed into a little street parlour, where was Mrs Brent, his housekeeper." Here," fays he," Mrs Brent, take care of this child. while I "take my walk out within doors." The Dean then ran up the great stairs, down one pair of back-stairs, up another. in fo violent a manner, that Mrs Pilkington could not help expreffing her uneafinefs to Mrs Brent, left he fhould fall, and be hurted. Mrs Brent faid, it was a customary exercise with him, when the weather did not permit him to walk abroad. MRS Brent then told Mrs Pilkington of the Dean's charity; of his giving above half of his yearly income in private penfions to decayed families; and keeping 500 l. in the constant service of industrious poor, which he lent out 5 1 at a time, and took the payment back at 1 s. a-week; which, fhe obferved, did them more fervice than if he gave it to them entirely, as it obliged them to work, and at the fame time kept up this charitable fund for the affiftance of many.. "You cannot "imagine," faid he, "what numbers of poor tradef men, who have even wanted proper tools to carry on "their work, have, by this fmall loan, been put into a profperous way, and brought up their families in cre"dit. The Dean," added she, “has found out a new "method of being charitable, in which, however, I be lieve, he will have but few followers; which is, to "debar himself of what he calls the fuperfluities of life, "in order to adminifter to the neceffities of the distres"fed. You juft now faw an inftance of it; the money "á coach would have coft him, he gave to a poor man "unable to walk. When he dines alone, he drinks a pint of beer, and gives away the price of a pint of "wine. And thus he acts in numberless inftances." THE Dean came to dine with Mr and Mrs Pilkington at their Lilliputian palace, as he called it; and, who could have thought it? he juft looked into the parlour, and ran up into the garret, then into Mrs Pilkington's bedchamber bedchamber and library, and from thence down to the kitchen; and the houfe being very clean, he complimented her upon it, and told her, that was his cuftom; and that it was from the cleanliness of the garret and kitchen, he judged of the good housewifery of the miftrefs of the houfe; for no doubt but a flut would have the room clean where the guests were to be entertained. He was fometimes very rude, even to his fuperiors; of which the following story, related to Mrs Pilkington by himself, may ferve as one inftance amongst a thousand others. THE last time he was in London, he went to dine with the Earl of Burlington, who was then but newly married. The Earl being willing, 'tis fuppofed, to have fome diverfion, did not introduce him to his lady, ⚫ nor mention his name. It is to be observed, that his gown was generally very rafty, and his perfon no way extraordinary. After dinner, faid the Dean, "Lady A 66 Burlington, I hear you can fing; fing me a fong." The lady looked on this unceremonious manner of afking a favour with distaste, and positively refufed him. He faid, the should fing, or he would make her. "Why, Madam, I fuppofe you take me for one of your poor "English hedge parfons; fing when I bid you" As the Earl did nothing but laugh at this freedom, the lady was fo vexed, that the burst into tears, and retired. His first compliment to her when he faw her again, Pray, Madam, are you as proud and as ill-natu "ared now, as when I faw you lat?" To which fhe anfwered, with great good humour, "No, Mr Dean; I'll fing for you, if you pleafe." From which time he conceived great esteem for her. But who that knew him would take offence at his bluntness ? was, MRS Pilkington could not recollect that ever she faw the Dean laugh; perhaps he thought it beneath him ; for when any pleafantry paffed which might have excited it, he used to fuck his cheeks to avoid rifibility. He ufed frequently to put her in mind of Shakefpear's de fcription of Caffius. He is a great difcerner, and he looks Quite thro' the deeds of men Seldom he fmiles, and fimiles in fuch a fort As if he mock'd himself, and fcorn'd his fpirit, That could be mov'd to fimile at any thing. Jul. Cafar. MRS Pilkington believed the Dean's early youth did not promise that bright day of wit which has fince enlightened the learned world. Whilst he was at the university of Dublin, he was fo far from being diftinguithed for any fuperiority of parts or learning, that he was ftopped of his degree as a dunce. When he heard the Dean relate this circumftance, fhe told him, fhe fuppofed he had been idle: but he affirmed to the contrary, affuring her he was really dull. Which, if true, is very furprifing. "I have," fays fhe, ❝ often been led to look on the "world as a garden, and the human minds as fo many plants, fet by the hand of the great Creator for utility and ornament. Thus fome, we fee, early pro"duce beautiful bloffoms, and as foon fade away; 0"thers, whofe gems are more flow in unfolding, but "more permanent when blown; and others again, "who, tho' longer in arriving at perfection, not on"ly bless us then with fhade and odour, but also with "delicious wholefome fruit.” He was a perpetual friend to merit and learning; and utterly incapable of envy; for, in true genuine wit, he could fear no rival. It has been often observed, that where great talents are bestowed, there the strongest paffions are likewise given. This great man did but too often let them have dominion over him, and that on the most trifling occafions. During meal-times he was evermore in a ftorm; the meat was always too much or too little done, or the fervants had offended in fome point, imperceptible to the rest of the company: however, when the cloth was taken away, he made his guests rich amends for the pain he had given them. For then Was truly mingled in the friendly bowl Yet Yet he preferved ftrict temperance: for he never drank above half a pint of wine, in every glafs of which he mixed water and fugar: yet, if he liked his company, would fit many hours over it, unlocking all the fprings of policy, learning, true humour, and inimitable wit. THE following ftory the Dean told to Mrs Pilkington. A clergyman, who was a most learned fine gentleman, but under the foftest and politeft appearance, concealed the most turbulent ambition, having made his merit as a preacher too eminent to be overlooked, had it early rewarded with a mitre. Dr Swift went to congratulate him on it; but told him, he hoped, as his Lordship was a native of Ireland, and had now a feat in the house of Peers, he would employ his powerful elocution in the fervice of his diftreffed country. The prelate told him, the bishoprick was but a very small one, and he could not hope for a better, if he did not oblige the court. Very well," fays Swift," then it is to be hoped, "when you have a better, you will become an honeft "man." Ay, that I will, Mr Dean," fays he. "Till then, my Lord, farewel," anfwered Swift. This prelate was twice tranflated to richer fees; and, on every tranflation, Dr Swift waited on him to remind him of his promife; but to no purpose; there was now an archbishoprick in view, and till that was obtained, nothing could be done. Having in a fhort time likewife got this, he then fent for the Dean, and told him, "I am now at the top of my preferment; for I well "know no Irishman will ever be made primate; there"fore, as I can rife no higher in fortune or flation, I will zealously promote the good of my country." And from that time he commenced a most outrageous patriot. 66 66 The |