-Is the breakfast-hour past? They must wait, they must wait,

While the coffee boils sullenly down,

While the Johnny-cake burns on the grate, on the grate,

And the toast is done frightfully brown.

-Yes, your dinner will keep; let it cool, let it cool, And Madam may worry and fret,

And children half-starved go to school, go to school; He can't think of sparing you yet.

-Hark! the bell for the train! "Come along! Come along!

For there is n't a second to lose."

"ALL ABOARD!" (He holds on.) "Fsht! dingdong! Fsht! ding-dong !"—

You can follow on foot, if you choose.

- There's a maid with a cheek like a peach, like a peach,

-

That is waiting for you in the church; But he clings to your side like a leech, like a leech, And you leave your lost bride in the lurch.

- There's a babe in a fit,-hurry quick! hurry quick!

To the doctor's as fast as you can!

The baby is off, while you stick, while you stick, In the grip of the dreadful Old Man!

I have looked on the face of the Bore, of the Bore; The voice of the Simple I know;

I have welcomed the Flat at my door, at my door; I have sat by the side of the Slow;

I have walked like a lamb by the friend, by the

friend,

That stuck to my skirts like a bur;

I have borne the stale talk without end, without end,

Of the sitter whom nothing could stir:

But my hamstrings grow loose, and I shake, and I shake,

At the sight of the dreadful Old Man;

Yea, I quiver and quake, and take, and I take, To my legs with what vigor I can!

O the dreadful Old Man of the Sea, of the Sea!
He's come back like the Wandering Jew!
He has had his cold claw upon me, upon me, -
And be sure that he 'll have it on you!

-

ODE FOR A SOCIAL MEETING.

WITH SLIGHT ALTERATIONS BY A TEETOTALER.

OME! fill a fresh bumper,- for why should we go

logwood

While the neetar still reddens our cups as they flow

decoction

Pour out the rich juices still bright with the sun,

dye-stuff

Till o'er the brimmed crystal the rubies shall run.

half-ripened apples

The purple globed clusters their life-dews have bled;

taste

sugar of lead

How sweet is the breath of the fragrance they shed!

rank poisons

wines!!!

For summer's last roses lie hid in the wines

stable-boys smoking long-nines That were garnered by maidens who laughed thro'

the vines.

howl

scoff

sneer

Then a smile, and a glass, and a toast, and a cheer,
strychnine and whiskey, and ratsbane and beer
For all the good wine, and we've some of it here!
In cellar, in pantry, in attic, in hall,

Down, down with the tyrant that masters us all!

Long live the gay servant that laughs for us all!

THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE :

OR THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS SHAY."

A LOGICAL STORY.

JAVE you heard of the wonderful one-
hoss shay,

That was built in such a logical way
It ran a hundred years to a day,

And then, of a sudden, it ah, but stay,
I'll tell you what happened without delay,
Scaring the parson into fits,

Frightening people out of their wits,

Have you ever heard of that, I say?

Seventeen hundred and fifty-five.

Georgius Secundus was then alive, -
Snuffy old drone from the German hive.
That was the year when Lisbon-town
Saw the earth open and gulp her down,
And Braddock's army was done so brown,
Left without a scalp to its crown.

It was on the terrible Earthquake-day
That the Deacon finished the one-hoss shay.

Now in building of chaises, I tell you what,
There is always somewhere a weakest spot,
In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill,
In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill,
In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace, — lurking still,
Find it somewhere you must and will,
Above or below, or within or without,
And that's the reason, beyond a doubt,
A chaise breaks down, but does n't wear out.

But the Deacon swore, (as Deacons do, With an " 99 I dew vum, or an "I tell yeou,") He would build one shay to beat the taown 'n' the keounty 'n' all the kentry raoun'; It should be so built that it couldn' break daown: Fur," said the Deacon, "'t 's mighty plain Thut the weakes' place mus' stan' the strain; 'n' the way t' fix it, uz I maintain,

166

Is only jest

T' make that place uz strong uz the rest."

So the Deacon inquired of the village folk
Where he could find the strongest oak,
That could n't be split nor bent nor broke,

That was for spokes and floor and sills;

He sent for lancewood to make the thills;

The crossbars were ash, from the straightest trees;
The panels of white-wood, that cuts like cheese,
But lasts like iron for things like these;
The hubs of logs from the "Settler's ellum,".
Last of its timber, - they could n't sell 'em,
Never an axe had seen their chips,
And the wedges flew from between their lips,
Their blunt ends frizzled like celery-tips;
Step and prop-iron, bolt and screw,
Spring, tire, axle, and linchpin too,
Steel of the finest, bright and blue;
Thoroughbrace bison-skin, thick and wide;
Boot, top, dasher, from tough old hide
Found in the pit when the tanner died.
That was the way he "put her through.” -
"There!" said the Deacon, "naow she 'll dew!"

Do! I tell you, I rather guess

She was a wonder, and nothing less!
Colts grew horses, beards turned gray,
Deacon and deaconess dropped away,

Children and grandchildren · where were they?
But there stood the stout old one-hoss shay
As fresh as on Lisbon-earthquake-day!

EIGHTEEN HUNDRED; —it came and found
The Deacon's masterpiece strong and sound.
Eighteen hundred increased by ten;
"Hahnsum kerridge" they called it then.
Eighteen hundred and twenty came;·
Running as usual; much the same.