nearest neighbours* firft to my assistance, and next, to the manifeft danger of his life. And I would not willingly have even a dog killed upon my account. Ever fince he hath amused himself with declaring, in all companies, especially before bishops, and lords, and members of parliament, his refolutions for vengeance, and the feveral manners by which he will put it in execution.

It is only to the advice of fome judicious friends that your Grace owes the trouble of this letter. For, though I may be difpirited enough by fickness and years, yet I have little reason to apprehend any danger from that man; and those who seem to have most regard for my fafety, are no more apprehensive than myself, especially fuch as best know his character. For his very enemies, and even his ridiculers, who are, of the two, by far the greater number, allow him to be a peaceable man in all things except his words, his rhetorical action, his looks, and his hatred to the clergy; which however are all known, by abundance of experience, to be perfectly

* Dr. Swift was then at the Reverend Mr. Worral's house, which happened to be within three or four doors of Mr. Bettefworth's.

harmless; and particularly as to the clergy. I do not doubt, but, if he will be fo good as to continue ftedfaft in his principles and practices, he may at proper junctures contribute very much to the honour and interefts of that reverend body, as well as employ and improve the wit of many young gentlemen in the city, the university, and the rest of the kingdom.

What I have faid to your Grace is only meant as a poor endeavour to prefervę myself in your good opinion, and in the continuance of your favour. I am, with the highest respect, &c.

LETTER LIX.

To Mifs HOADLEY. *

MADAM,

June 4th, 1734

WHEN I lived in England, once every

year I iffued out an edict, commanding that all ladies of wit, fenfe, merit, and quality, who had an ambition to be acquainted with me, fhould make the first advances at their peril; which edict, you may believe, was univerfally obeyed.

* Daughter of Dr. John Hoadley, Archbishop of Dublin.

When

When (much against my will) I came to live in this kingdom, I published the same edict; only, the harvest here being not altogether fo plentiful, I confined myself to a smaller compafs. This made me often wonder how you came fo long to neglect your duty; for, if you pretend ignorance, I may produce legal witnesses against you. I have heard of a judge bribed with a pig, but it was discovered by the fqueaking; and, therefore, you have been fo politic as to fend me a dead one, which can tell no tales. Your present of butter was made with the fame defign, as a known courtpractice, to grease my fift that I might keep filence. Thefe are great offences, contrived on purpose to corrupt my integrity. And befides I apprehend, that, if I fhould wait on you to return my thanks, you will deny that the pig and butter were any advances at all on your fide, and give out that I made them firft; by which I may endanger the fundamental privilege that I have kept so many years in two kingdoms, at leaft make it a point of controversy. However, I have two ways to be revenged: First, I will let all the ladies of my acquaintance know, that you, the fole daughter and child of his Grace of Dublin, are

fo

fo mean as to defcend to understand houfewifery, which every girl of this town, who can afford fixpence a month for a chair, would fcorn to be thought to have the least knowledge in: And this will give you as ill a reputation, as if you had been caught in the fact of reading a history, or handling a needle, or walking in a field at Tallough. My other revenge fhall be this: When my Lord's gentleman delivered his meffage, after I put him fome questions, he drew out a paper containing your directions, and in your hand: I faid it properly belonged to me; and, when I had read it, I put it in my pocket, and am ready to fwear, when lawfully called, that it is written in a fair hand, rightly fpelt, and good plain fenfe. You now may fee I have you at mercy; for, upon the leaft offence given, I will fhew the paper to every female scrawler I meet, who will soon spread about the town, that your writing and fpelling are ungenteel and unfafhionable, more like a parfon than a lady.

I fuppofe, by this time, you are willing to fubmit; and, therefore, I defire you may flint me to two China-bowls of butter a week; for my breakfast is that of a fickly man, rice-gruel, and I am wholly a ftranger

fe

a ftranger to tea and coffee, the companions of bread and butter. I received my third bowl last night, and I think my cond is almost entire. I hope and believe my Lord Archbishop will teach his neighbouring tenants and farmers a little Englifh country-management: And I lay it upon you, Madam, to bring housewifery in fashion among our ladies; that, by your example, they may no longer pride themfelves on their natural or affected ignorance. I am, with the trueft refpect and efteem,

MADAM,

Your moft obedient and

Obliged, &c.

I defire to present my most, &c, to his Grace and the Ladies.

LETTER LX.

To the Duke of CHANDOIS,

MY LORD,

August 31, 1734.

ALTHOUGH I have long had the honour

to be an old humble fervant to your Grace, yet I do not remember to have ever written