From which I never could refrain,
And have been often chid in vain:
From these I am recover'd quite,
At least in what regards the Knight.
Preferve his health, his ftore increase;
May nothing interupt his peace.
But now, let all his tenants round
First milk his cows, and after, pound:
Let ev'ry cottager confpire

To cut his hedges down for fire;
The naughty boys about the village
His crabs and floes may freely pillage:
He ftill may keep a pack of knaves
To fpoil his work, and work by halves:
His meadows may be dug by fwine,
It shall be no concern of mine.
For, why fhould I continue ftill
To serve a friend against his will?

DAPH

D

DAPHN E.

APHNE knows, with equal ease,
How to vex and how to please;
But, the folly of her fex

Makes her fole delight to vex.
Never woman more devis'd
Surer ways to be defpis'd:
Paradoxes weakly wielding,
Always conquer'd, never yielding.
To dispute, her chief delight,
With not one opinion right:
Thick her arguments the lays on,
And with cavils combats reason:
Anfwers in decifive way,

Never hears what you can say:
Still her odd perverseness shows
Chiefly where the nothing knows.
And where she is most familiar,
Always peevisher and fillier:
All her fpirits in a flame

When she knows fhe's moft to blame.

Send me hence ten thousand miles,
From a face that always fmiles:
None could ever act that part,
But a Fury in her heart.
Ye who hate fuch inconfiftence,
To be eafy keep your diftance;

Of

Or in folly ftill befriend her,

But have no concern to mend her.
Lose not time to contradict her,

Nor endeavour to convict her.
Never take it in your thought,
That she'll own, or cure a fault.
İnto contradiction warm her,
Then, perhaps, you may reform her:
Only take this rule along,

Always to advise her wrong;

And reprove her when she's right;
She may then grow wife for spight.

No----that scheme will ne'er fucceed, She has better learnt her creed: She's too cunning, and too skilful, When to yield, and when be wilful. Nature holds her forth two mirrors, One for truth, and one for errors : That looks hideous, fierce, and frightful, This is flatt'ring and delightful : That she throws away as foul`; Sits by this, to drefs her foul.

Thus you have the cafe in view, Daphne, 'twixt the Dean and you; Heav'n forbid he should defpife thee, But will never more advise thee.

VOL. XVI.

X 6

TWELVE

TWELVE ARTICLES.

I.

Left it may more quarrels breed,
I will never hear you read.

- II.

By difputing I will never

To convince you, once endeavour.

III.

When a paradox you stick to,
I will never contradict you.

IV.

When I talk, and you are heedlefs,
I will fhew no anger needlefs.

V.

When your speeches are abfurd,
I will ne'er object a word.

VI.

When you furious argue wrong,
I will grieve, and hold my tongue.

VII.

Not a jeft, or hum'rous story,

Will I ever tell before ye:

To be childen for explaining

When you quite mistake the meaning.

VIII.

VIII.

Never more will I fuppofe

You can tafte my verse or profe;

IX.

You no more at me fhall fret,
While I teach, and you forget.

X.

You fhall never hear me thunder, When you blunder on, and blunder.

XI.

Shew your poverty of spirit,

And in drefs place all your merit
Give yourself ten thousand airs,

That with me fhall break no squares,

XII.

Never will I give advice

'Till you please to ask me thrice;

Which, if you in fcorn reject,

'Twill be just as I expect.

Thus we both fhall have our ends,

And continue fpecial friends,