MADAM,

June 24, 1732.

WILL not trouble you with any grave tophicks, left I fhould difcurmode you; but rather write in a farmiliar and jocofious way.

You must know then, I was the other night at Mrs. Tattle's, and Mrs. Rattle came in to drink fome jocklit with us, upon which they fell into a nargiment about the best muficioners in town: At laft, Rattle told Tattle, that she did not know the difrence between a fong and a tympany. They were going to defer the matter to me; but I faid that when people difputed, it was my way always to ftand muter. You would have thought they were both intofticated with liquor, if you had feen them fo full of outrageousness. However Mrs. Tattle, as being a very timberfome woman, yielded to

* This letter is fictitious, and was written by Dr. Sheridan,

VOL. XVI.

D d

Rattle,

Rattle, and there was an end of the dif putement. I wonder you do not honour me fometimes with your company. If I myfelf be no introducement, my garden, which has a fine ruval look, ought to be one. My Tomy would be glad to see you before he goes for England, and fo would I; for I am refolved to take the tower of London before I return. We intend to go to Norfolk or Suffolk, to fee a clergyman, a near coufin of ours. They say that he is an admiral good man, and very horfpital in his own house. I am determ'd, when this vege is over, never to fet my foot in a ftagecoach again, for the jolting of it has put my blood into fuch a firmament, that I have my been in an ego ever fince, and have loft nappitite to fuch a degree that I have not eaten a manfion of bread, put all together, these fix weeks paft. They allow me to eat nothing at night but blanchius manshius, which has made a perfect notomy of me; and my spirits are fo extorted, that I am in a perfect liturgy; for which I am refolved to take fome rubrick, although the doctors advise me to drink burgomy. And what do you think? when I went to my cellar for a flask, I found that my fervants had imbellished it all; for which I am resolved to

give them fome hippokockeny to bring it up again. I fear that I have been too turbulent in this long and tedious crawl; which I hope you will excufe from

ON

BARBAROUS DENOMINATIONS

I

SIR,

IN IRELAND.

HAVE been lately looking over the advertisements in fome of your Dublin news-papers, which are fent me to the country, and was much entertained with a large lift of denominations of lands, to be fold or let. I am confident they must be genuine; for it is impoffible that either chance, or modern invention, could fort the alphabet in such a manner, as to make those abominable founds, whether first invented to invoke, or fright away the Devil, I must leave among the curious.

If I could wonder at any thing barbarous, ridiculous, or abfurd among us, this fhould be one of the firft. I have often lamented that Agricola, the Father-in-law of Tacitus, was not prevailed on by that petty King from Ireland, who followed his camp, to come over and civilize us

with a conqueft, as his countrymen did Britain, where feveral Roman appellations remain to this day; and so would the rest have done, if that innundation of Angles, Saxons, and other northern people, had not changed them fo much for the worse, although in no comparison with ours. In one of the advertisements juft mentioned, I encountered near a hundred words together, which I defy any creature in human shape, except an Irishman of the favage kind, to pronounce; neither would I undertake fuch a task, to be owner of the lands, unless I had liberty to humanize the syllables twenty miles round. The Legislature may think what they please, and that they are above copying the Romans in all their conquefts of barbarous nations'; but I am deceived, if any thing hath more contributed to prevent the Irish from being tamed, than this encouragement of their language, which might easily be abolished, and become a dead one in half an age, with little expence, and less trouble.

How is it poffible that a gentleman, who lives in those parts, where the Town-lands (as they call them) of his estate produce Dd 3 fuch