self, and can eat most of what's put before him, it seems natteral enough that his children would go and do the same, and that would take a little more mainteaning than some of us can exactly afford. I can't see myself how we could go all that length, with a proper eye to our own old age."

"I don't mean that!" exclaimed the lady; "you don't understand me. I can only say it for myself, that it would be no trouble to me, not a bit of it, to sink the whole of myself in the endeavour to raise a prodigy of children, that should prove a complete honour to any farm-yard in the riding. The pretty dears! how I should spoil them! Ugh! I could squeeze their little hearts to pieces, I could!" This rhapsody left Colin no longer in the dark. Mr. Palethorpe was again in London, accompanied by the loving and amiable Miss Sowersoft.

A capital idea at this moment struck our hero. Mr. Peter Veriquear was already acquainted with the story of Palethorpe's previous visit to town, and had applauded Colin for the part he had taken in punishing that poor booby as he deserved. He therefore only required to be informed that Palethorpe and his mistress were in the next box, in order, as Colin hoped, to be induced to join him in a lark upon the worthy couple. His proposition was this, that Peter should walk into their arbour, sit down next to Miss Sowersoft, call for drink, as though he had just arrived, and then proceed, according to the best of his ability, in making love to that lady, no less to her own eventual disappointment, than to the annoyance of the redoubtable Samuel. Veriquear laughed at the notion, but objected that to make love to a lady could not possibly be any business of his.

"Besides," he added, "what will Mrs. Veriquear say if she should happen to catch me, for I expect her up to tea very soon; and if she should come before the joke is completed, I am afraid she would turn it into a regular Whitechapel tragedy."

"Oh, never heed that!" replied Colin. "I'll be bound to see you safe. Go directly, and do it before the chance be lost. Here, waiter!" and he whispered to him to carry a bottle of stout into the next box for his friend.

In a few minutes Veriquear was sitting beside Miss Sowersoft, while Colin peeped through a nick in the boards, and observed all that passed.

66

"A fine evening, ma'am," said Peter.

"Delightful evening, indeed, sir!" echoed Miss Maria.

"Yees, it's pleasant," added Sammy, who remembered his former exploits, and began to fear a thief; at the same time that he thought it most advisable to speak civilly.

"Admirable places these," continued Peter, "for the enjoyment of the working-people, who are confined in shops from week's end to week's end."

"They are, indeed," said Miss Sowersoft.

"I should think so," added Palethorpe.

"And, really," continued the lady, "I had not the most remote conception that such places existed."

"Then you are strangers here, ma'am? "Quite so, sir!" answered the lady. few days."

asked Peter.

"We have only been up a

"I arn't a stranger, though," protested Palethorpe; "I've bin

afore, and know what's what as well as most folks. He'd be a sharper chap than somebody that I see to drop on us."

Miss Sowersoft here gave Sammy a nudge, and squeezed her mouth into a severe expression of reprehension. In the mean time Peter looked very graciously at the lady, who seemed by no means displeased with his attentions, and continued a conversation, in which he prognosticated how many sights she would see in London, and how much she would be delighted before her return: concluding with an obscure hint that it would give him much pleasure to point out the objects best worthy attention. Miss Sowersoft smirked benignantly, and glanced at Palethorpe with an expression which seemed to say that "somebody might now see that everybody did not think so little of somebody else, as some people were apt to imagine." While Palethorpe himself grew paler, and began to think that his "meesis was going to be taken, without farther ceremony, altogether out of his hands.

Encouraged by his success, Peter so far increased his attentions as fairly to arouse the jealousy of Mr. Palethorpe, who resented the insult by declaring that as that lady was keeping company with himself, nobody else should speak to her so long as he was by, or else his name was not Palethorpe. To which valiant speech Miss Sowersoft herself replied by informing Sammy that he was one of those people who seemed as if they could neither make up their own minds to come to a centrical and decisive point themselves, nor endure to see anybody else do the same. A sentiment which Mr. Veriquear rendered still more illustrative by declaring that the gentleman was like one of those ill-tempered curs that turn up their own noses at a bone, but snarl at every other dog that attempts to touch it.

Finding even his own "meesis" against him, Sammy's mettle began to rise, and he demanded to know whether Mr. Veriquear meant to call him a cur? To which Veriquear replied, that he would look still more like one if he went upon all-fours. Hereupon Mr. Palethorpe challenged his antagonist to a boxing-match upon the green, swearing that he would lick him as clean as ever any man was licked in this world. Peter ridiculed this threat, and begged the gentleman who made it to recollect that he was not now in Yorkshire; informing him still further that if he did not take particular care, he would lay himself under the unpleasant necessity of making another appearance at the police-office, as he had done upon a former occasion. Sammy turned pale; while Miss Maria seemed astounded, as she demanded in a shrill and faint, but earnest voice, "whether he (Mr. Veriquear) knew Mr. Palethorpe and his calamity."

Everybody in London knows him," replied Veriquear; "and I assure you, ma'am, that it is no credit to a respectable female to be seen with a man who has rendered himself so notorious."

Afraid that she had committed herself in the eyes of the metropolis, Miss Sowersoft looked upon the unlucky Samuel with momentary horror, and at the same time unconsciously clung for support to the strange hand of that poor man's supposed rival. At this interesting part of the scene, Mrs. Veriquear, (directed by Master William, whom she had picked up on the lawn,) bounced into

the box.

Colin, whose business it was to have prevented this surprise, had been so engaged in spying through a hole, which he had made by pushing a knot out of one of the boards, that the appearance of Mrs. Veriquear confounded him, especially when he beheld that lady, who instantly detected her husband's situation, dart like a fury at Miss Sowersoft, and pommel away with her fists as might some belated baker, who has the largest amount of dough to knead up within the least possible length of time. Sammy and Veriquear were instantly in arms-the latter endeavouring to restrain his wife, the former, with a chivalrous feeling peculiar to himself, striking her upon the face; while Master William, seeing the danger of his parents, struck up a solo in the highest possible key.

No sooner did Colin perceive the conduct of Sammy than he forsook his situation at the peep-hole, and hurrying into the field, laid his old foe flat with a well-directed blow. The latter looked up from his inglorious situation; and if ever man felt convinced that he was haunted by an evil genius, Mr. Palethorpe felt so on this occasion, and that his evil genius was Colin Clink.

A regular mêlée now ensued, during which Mrs. Veriquear's cap was sent into the air, like a balloon. The back of the arbour was driven out, and Mr. Veriquear, locked in the arms of Miss Sowersoft, fell through the opening into that beautiful piece of water which has its local habitation opposite the west side of Canonbury Tower.

The sudden appearance of several policemen put an end to the sport. Colin and Sammy were seized, and attempted to be hurried off; but as neither had any particular reasons for desiring a situation in the watch-house, they contrived so far to accommodate matters as to be allowed to go each his separate way.

Our hero's first step was to see to the safety of his friend. He and Miss Sowersoft had already been fished out by the spectators. The latter-named of the two was conveyed into the tavern, and put to bed, while the former was induced, at the representation of Colin, to walk rapidly home with the enraged Mrs. Veriquear on his arm, our hero himself undertaking charge of the young Veriquears, and drawing them in the basket-coach behind.

Peter Veriquear naturally enough employed the whole time occupied in their journey by explaining the adventure; a statement which Colin so far corrobated, as to leave Mrs. Veriquear convinced of her husband's innocence.

As to the appearance of the worthy couple in town within so short a time of Mr. Palethorpe's former expedition, it is to be accounted for upon the same principle as are many other matters of equal importance: that is, according to a certain principle of curiosity, which is supposed to exist pretty largely in every human breast, but especially in the bosoms of the fair.

During the first day or two after her discovery of Sammy's frail nature, she betook herself, as far as the duties of the farm would allow, to the solitude of her own bed-chamber; where, in all probability, she wept regretfully over the depravity of human nature. some weeks Mr. Palethorpe lived as though he lived not. To her, at least, he was dead: she saw him not, heard him not, knew him not. When he spoke his voice passed her by like the wind: when he whistled she heeded it no more than the whistling of a keyhole.

VOL. VIII.

2 K

Meantime Samuel ate and drank unheeded, and with a degree of violence which seemed to say that by these means he meditated a novel species of suicide. If so, however, the thing failed in its effect. So far from entering at death's door, he seemed every day to get farther off. While Miss Maria pined, he grew fatter, redder, and more robustious. The contrast, at length, became unendurable : and from mere spite she at last began to speak to him again.

From a sulky exchange of words, this happy pair at length proceeded to a certain reluctant but animated discourse, in which explanation, reproaches, and deprecation, were abundantly resorted to. She accused; he apologized and regretted, and at length, she forgave, and Mr. Palethorpe had the satisfaction of finding himself restored to favour, and his mistress's arms.

I have said that Miss Sowersoft's curiosity was extreme. When Sammy detailed to her all the wonders of his expedition, her propensity could not be restrained. She, too, must see London. Accordingly, the tour was agreed upon, and hence their appearance at the time and place in question.

Returning to our hero, it may now be stated that before Mr. Clink took his departure from Mr. Veriquear's, a plan was arranged between himself and Peter for carrying his important design into immediate execution.

A DIALOGUE BETWEEN TWO CHINA JARS.

BY HAL WILLIS.

These are mere family jars, madam,
Which end in-nothing.

The Blue Stocking.

A. A STRANGE family this we have got into. And what a change! -from a sober clergyman's study to the drawing-room of a fashionable fool.

B. And yet is it what we must have anticipated. Have I not heard the Reverend Mr. Q- say a thousand times, "We are but things of clay, and so are doomed to continual vicissitudes?

"

A. True. But really I felt rather alarmed when that auctioneer talked so vehemently of "knocking us down,"-for the pastor so often cautioned his children from doing so, and so repeatedly declared we should be utterly destroyed, that I really trembled for our fate.

B. I assure you my equanimity was not disturbed in the least; for this is the second sale we have gone through uninjured.

A. The second sale?

B. To be sure. Had we not a sail from China ?

A. The auctioneer appeared to have a very great opinion of his eloquence.

B. And yet I heard our present master whisper to his friend, "This fellow's encomiums on these jars is mere jar-gon, and his delivery as discordant as the jarring elements. Look at him-his eyes a-gog-his mouth's a-jar!"

A. You are merry. For my part, I confess I felt the deepest sorrow in our change.

B. For the matter of that, I think we were both equally moved on the occasion; and, however dissimilar our sentiments might have been, we were both-carried away with our feelings.

A. Ah! you may jeer, but I was filled with grief—

B. And I with

-water, as the man can testify who lifted me; for he had just raised me with an exclamation that "he would have a lark," when the poor fellow unexpectedly got a-duck!—which he acknowledged with a grimace, declaring he found the-water foul! You may call our new master a fool if you will; but he has at least discernment; for did he not bring a couple of his friends to look at us this morning, and finish our praises by singing,

"Sure such a pair were never seen?"

A. How lightly you talk! Cease this shallow discourse, I pray. B. Shallow, forsooth! At any rate I am as deep as you. The fact is, you are out of spirits, and I am elevated. I am on a tripod, and you at present on the Turkey-carpet. Stop till your three-legged stand comes home, and then we'll run on together. At all events let us be friends, though all the world besides should go together by the ears; for I sincerely believe we shall not long enjoy the elegancies we see around us; and (not being a horse-shoe) I really feel some apprehensions in going to the hammer again.

A. Very true. But my self-love tells me we are of too much importance to be lightly cared for. Didn't they write on our packingcases, Keep this side uppermost ? ? "

B. Don't mention it! I was pitched on my neck during the whole journey, and by the jerking and jolting was obliged to play a rubber with the deal partition. I don't know which suffered most on the occasion; for I was much troubled, and my partner a great deal

board!

A. Well, I was better off; for they placed me upright, and filled me with rich tumblers,-some dozen at least.

B. Fie!-what would the Temperance Society say to the friend of my youth, who can talk seriously of taking a dozen glasses upon such a short journey?

A. You know my habits better. I have indeed the greatest contempt

B. Of course!-for all those that possessed the advantages of a clear vision could have discovered at a glance, that the company so impertinently intruded upon you was-cut! But then only think of my dear chum and crony going through the streets with a company of strolling tumblers!

A. You go on at a pretty rate.

go on, you

B. Don't grumble; for at whatever rate I will certainly be up with me when you come to a stand. And though I am merry at your expense, the most our enemies can say is, that I am above laughing at you. I wish those flowers would come; for here we stand with our mouths wide open, like a couple of rustics at a village fair wondering at the tricks of a conjuror.-Hark !-there's a knock!