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HUMOR AND THE HUMORIST.

DENVER POSTSCRIPTS.

James Barton Adams, of the Denver "Post," has long been known as the "cow-boy poet." His acquaintance with cow-boys, cow-girls, Indians, Mexicans, the prairies and the Rockies is entirely real, not ideal. His fund of knowledge and his ability to express it in verse is unlimited, and many of his nature's sermons will outlive him. His daily double column of humor relates to current topics, but nearly always the column is started by a poem which perpetuates life on the plains, as in this:

AU-GU-RI-TA'S VENTURE.

In the eyes of Au-gu-ri-ta,
Belle of all the reservation,
Lurked a look 'twould take an expert
Versed in eye work to determine
If it were a look of vengeance
Or a squint of other nature.
Now her eyes, as dark and lustrous
As the eyes of waiting tigress,
Seemed to glow with fires of hatred,
Or of pent-up expectation,
We know not if which or t'other.
Then they'd melt to eager longing
With a flash of hope athwart them
As she peered out from her hiding
At the form of paleface maiden
Sitting on an ancient boulder,
On a forest boulder wearing
Mountain moss in lieu of whiskers.

Hard the breath came from the breathworks,

Of the hidden Indian maiden,

And into the eyes referred to

Came a look you might interpret

As of grim determination,

Backed by nerve and gall commingled

That would beat the Banda Rossa,

As, like serpent more than human,

Crawled she through the shelt'ring bushes Closer, closer to her victim

She who sat upon the boulder

Picking sand-burrs from her stockings,

Little dreaming of the presence,
Of the close juxtaposition,

Or immediate adjacence,
Of a she hand-painted savage
Filled with undeclared intentions.
Onward crept sly Au-gu-ri-ta,
And she drew forth from its hiding
In her laundry-famished blanket
A mysterious-black-something-
And with steady hand she aimed it
At the unsuspecting victim
Sitting on the rock deburring
Her black silken shapely hosing,
Pressed the trigger, pressed it quickly;
A mysterious "click" responding,
Then the dusky form retreated
Noiseless as a moving shadow
With a look of exultation

In the lustrous eyes we've mentioned.
She had snapped her little kodak
On a tour-girl from Chicago.

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How often prejudice cheats us out of the rights of reason, investigation and justice!

SOME men's definition of friendship consists merely of a tool with which imposition can be safely practiced.

Ir is easier to forgive a pretty woman for doing wrong than to reconcile one's self to an ugly one for being so.

THE humanity of a lie is most ably illustrated when used as a substitute for a painful truth.

Ir requires extraordinary and unconscious ability to accept good advice gracefully and utilize it without prejudice.

SENTIMENT Softens some natures, hurts others, and causes doubt to exist in the hearts of all.

ONE form of genius is that creative talent which finds upon the shore of thought two ideas where only one lived before.

MANY apparent virtues are but vices masked by the motives that produced them.

EVERY man of individual thought and expression must be prepared to receive the scorn that comes with the curse of egotism.

THE ordinary ways of friendship too often lie only in the lighted places of the lives of those for whom it is expressed.

PLAY the manly role in all emergencies of life, even if you do not feel the part.

OUR value in any cause is lost as soon as an earnest interest and enthusiasm is absent from it.

A MAN always loses respect for himself before others suspect his lack of worth or integrity.

SOMETIMES the hearts of children in the breasts of men lead great minds into the paths of simplicity and peace, and point out purer, better ways of life than they have ever known.

In order to spare ourselves humiliation, it is best to restrict ambition within the circle of our conscious strength.

WHEN a woman loses a man's affection on account of having misplaced it, she generally looks in the wrong direction to recover it.

MEN who permit their sentimental sensibility to control them in the garden of love should for their own happiness content themselves with the flower of friendship.

LET all your manly sympathies out to the simple, unconscious fool who revels in the knowledge that he does not possess.

THE world is often old and senile in its reason when young inquiring minds dare to ask a question.

SELF reliance is not conceit, but its surface appearance is closely related to it.

"THE MIGHT-HAVE-BEEN."

BY ARTHUR G. LEWIS.

Beyond the dearest, sweetest dreams of love,
Apart from every passion and desire,
And separate from any thought or strife,
That may have held us in its tortuous fire,
There comes a memory sacred as the day,
When we repented for our darkest sin,
That holds us fearful, trembling in its sway,
The recognition of what might have been.

"STUB ENDS OF THOUGHT" in book form, bound in silk cloth (104 pages), may be obtained from the author, Arthur

G. Lewis, Norfolk, Va. Price $1.00, postpaid.

TRAINS "EVERY OTHER HOUR ON THE EVEN HOUR"- NEW YORK TO WASHINGTON.

CONDENSED SCHEDULE ROYAL BLUE TRAINS OF THE B. & O.

EAST AND WEST.

WASHINGTON,

BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. ROYAL BLUE TRAINS FROM
BALTIMORE, PHILADELPHIA AND NEW YORK.

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BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. ROYAL BLUE TRAINS FROM NEW YORK TO
PHILADELPHIA, BALTIMORE AND WASHINGTON.

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BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. ROYAL BLUE TRAINS TO ALL

AND SOUTHWEST.

AM

POINTS WEST

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Through Pullman Sleepers to all points. N Connection east of Philadelphia is made with No. 509, "Royal Limited."'
BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. ROYAL BLUE TRAINS TO ALL POINTS EAST.

9.00AM

5.35 PM

2.35 AM

10.35 PM

7.55 AM

7.28 AM

1.40 PM

6.25 AM

8.30 AM

8.00 PM

9.20 PM

7.40 AM

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TRAINS" EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR "

BETWEEN WASHINGTON AND BALTIMORE.

TRAINS "EVERY OTHER HOUR ON THE ODD HOUR"-WASHINGTON TO NEW YORK.

THROUGH PULLMAN PALACE CAR SERVICE.
UNEXCELLED DINING CAR SERVICE.

OPERATED BY THE BALTIMORE & OHIO RAILROAD COMPANY.

ROYAL BLUE TRAINS OF THE BALTIMORE & OHIO R. R. FINEST SERVICE IN THE WORLD. SOLID VESTIRULED TRAINS. PARLOR COACHES. Between Washington, Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York.

EASTWARD.

No. 512. Drawing Room Buffet Sleeping Cars from St. Louis and Pittsburg to New York. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Pittsburg to Philadelphia.

No. 504. Drawing Room Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Car, a la carte, Washington to Philadelphia. No. 526. Five Hour Train. Drawing Room Buffet Parlor Car Washington to New York.

No. 522.

to New York.

Drawing Room Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Car, serves dinner a la carte, Philadelphia

No. 528. Drawing Room Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Car, a la carte, Baltimore to New York. No. 502. Drawing Room Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Car, a la carte, Washington to Philadelphia. No. 524. "Royal Limited." Five Hour Train. Exclusively Pullman Equipment. Buffet Smoking Car, Parlor and Observation Cars Washington to New York. Dining Car, table d'hote, Philadelphia to New York. No extra fare other than regular Pullman charge.

No. 506. Drawing Room Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Car, table d'hote, Baltimore to New York. No. 546. Separate Pullman Sleeping Cars Washington and Baltimore to New York.

WESTWARD.

No. 505. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to Chicago.

and Pittsburg.

Observation Parlor Car Baltimore to Washington

No. 517. Drawing Room Buffet Parlor Car New York to Washington.

No. 501. Drawing Room Parlor Car New York to Washington. Dining Car, a la carte, Philadelphia to Washington. No. 507. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to Washington. Dining Car, table d'hote, New York to Baltimore. No. 527. Five Hour Train. Drawing Room Buffet Parlor Car New York to Washington.

No. 509. "Royal Limited." Exclusively Pullman Equipment. Buffet Smoking Car, Parlor and Observation Cars. Dining Car, table d'hote, New York to Washington. No extra fare other than regular Pullman charge.

No. 503. Drawing Room Parlor Car New York to Washington Dining Car, a la carte, New York to Baltimore. No. 511. Buffet Drawing Room Parlor Cars New York to Washington.

No. 515. Separate Sleeping Cars New York to Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington.

Between New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington, Pittsburg, Wheeling,
Columbus, Cleveland, Chicago, Cincinnati, Indianapolis,
St. Louis, Louisville, Memphis, New Orleans.

WESTWARD.

No. 1. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to St. Louis. Observation Sleeping Car Washington to Cincinnati. Dining Cars serve all meals. Cafe Parlor Car Cincinnati to St. Louis. Cafe Parlor Car Cincinnati to Louisville. No. 7. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to Chicago via Grafton and Bellaire. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Baltimore to Columbus. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Washington to Wheeling. Dining Cars serve all meals.

No. 9. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Washington to Cleveland and Sleeping Car Baltimore to Pittsburg. No. 3. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to St. Louis. Pullman Drawing Room Sleeping Car Washington to Parkersburg. Cafe Parlor Car Cincinnati to Louisville. Dining Cars serve all meals.

No. 11. "Pittsburg Limited." Drawing Room Buffet Sleeping Car New York to Pittsburg. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Philadelphia to Pittsburg. Dining Car Connellsville to Pittsburg.

No.

5. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to Chicago. Observation Parlor Car Baltimore to Pittsburg. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Pittsburg to Chicago. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Cleveland to Chicago. Dining Cars serve dinner, supper and breakfast.

No. 15. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Pittsburg to Chicago. Buffet Sleeping Car Wheeling to Chicago. No. 55. Drawing Room Sleeping Car New York to Cincinnati. Parlor Car Baltimore to Wheeling. Dinner at Cumberland. Dining Car Grafton to Cincinnati.

EASTWARD.

No. 2. Drawing Room Sleeping Car St. Louis to New York. Observation Sleeping Car Cincinnati to Washington. Dining Cars serve all meals. Cafe Parlor Car St. Louis to Cincinnati. Parlor Car Louisville to Cincinnati. Parlor Car Washington to New York.

No.

4. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Cincinnati to New York. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Parkersburg to Washington. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Wheeling to Washington. Dining Cars serve all meals. No. 6. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to New York via Pittsburg. Observation Parlor Car Pittsburg to Washington. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to Pittsburg. Dining Cars serve all meals. No. 8. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to New York. Drawing Room Sleeping Car Columbus to Washington. Parlor Car Washington to New York. Dining Cars serve all meals except breakfast at Cumberland.

No. 10. Sleeping Car Pittsburg to Baltimore. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Cleveland to Washington. No. 12. "Duquesne Limited." Drawing Room Sleeping Car Pittsburg to Philadelphia. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Pittsburg to New York. Drawing Room Sleeping Car St. Louis to New York. Dining Car Pittsburg to Connellsville. Dining Car Cincinnati to Grafton.

No. 14. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to Pittsburg. No. 46. Buffet Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to Wheeling. Pittsburg to Cumberland.

Drawing Room Sleeping Car Chicago to Cleveland.
Parlor Car Wheeling to Baltimore. Parlor Car

THROUGH TICKETS, SLEEPING CAR ACCOMMODATIONS

And Information in Detail Concerning Passenger Train Service on Baltimore & Ohio Railroad and
Connecting Lines may be had at the Offices of the Company, as follows:

AKRON, OHIO, Union Station, C. D. HONODLE, Ticket Agent. Howard Street, U. 8. G. APLEY, Ticket Agent.
BALTIMORE, N. W. Cor. Charles and Saratoga Streets (Y. M. C. A. Building), G. D. CRAWFORD, Ticket Agent; G. W. SQUIGGINS.
City Passenger Agent; B. F. BOND, Special Agent; G. W. PAINI, Passenger Agent. Camden Station, E. R. JONES, Ticket
Agent. Mt. Royal Station, CHAS. COCKEY, Ticket Agent.

BELLAIRE, OHIO, J. F. SHERRY, Ticket Agent.

BOSTON, 360 Washington Street, J. P. TAGGART, New England Passenger Agent; T. K. RUTH, Traveling Passenger Agent; E. E. BAEKEY, Ticket Agent.

BROOKLYN, N. Y., 343 Fulton Street, T. H. HENDRICKSON, Ticket Agent.

BUFFALO, N. Y., 210 Ellicott Square, H. A. WELLS, Eastern Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

BUTLER, PA., WM. TURNER, Ticket Agent.

CANTON, OHIO, S. S. C. MCGREW, Ticket Agent.
CHESTER, PA., J. B. WINTERS, Ticket Agent.

CHICAGO, 244 Clark Street, Grand Pacific Hotel, W. W. PICKING, District Passenger Agent; H. W. McKEWIN, City Ticket Agent.
General Passenger Office, Merchants' Loan & Trust Building, C. G. LEMMON, Traveling Passenger Agent. Grand Central
Station, Corner Harrison Street and 5th Avenue, F. J. EDDY, Ticket Agent. Auditorium Annex, 221 Michigan Avenue,
F. E. SCOTT, Ticket Agent.

CHILLICOTHE, OHIO, J. H. LARRABEE, Traveling Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.
CINCINNATI, OHIO, B. & O. S.-W., 430 Walnut Street (Traction Bldg.), J. B. Scorт, District Passenger Agent; C. H. WISEMAN,
City Ticket Agent; J. E. BUCHANAN, Passenger Agent. Central Union Station, E. REISING, Station Passenger Agent;
WM. BROWN, Depot Ticket Agent.

CITY OF MEXICO, MEX., D. BANKHARDT, Agente General, B. & O. S.-W., Apartado 2010.
CLEVELAND, OHIO, 241 Superior Street, M. G. CARREL, Division Passenger Agent; GEO. A. ORR, Traveling Passenger
Agent; F. E. GIBSON, Ticket Agent. South Water Street Station, A. N. DIETZ, Ticket Agent.

COLUMBUS, OHIO, No. 8 North High Street, D. S. WILDER, Division Passenger Agent; W. W. TAMAGE, Ticket Agent. Union
Depot, E. PAGELS, Ticket Agent.

CONNELLSVILLE, PA., C. W. ALLEN, Traveling Passenger Agent; H. L. DOUGLAS, Ticket Agent.

COVINGTON, KY., Fourth and Scott Streets, G. M. ABBOTT, Ticket Agent.

DALLAS, TEXAS, J. P. ROGERMAN, Traveling Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

DENVER, COLO., S. M. SHATTUC, Traveling Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

HARPER'S FERRY, W. VA., C. E. DUDROW, Traveling Passenger Agent.

KANSAS CITY, MO., Box 264, A. C. GOODRICH, Traveling Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

LORAIN, OHIO, C. A. MELIN, Ticket Agent.

LOUISVILLE, KY., B. & O. S.-W., 4th and Main Sts., R. S. BROWN, District Passenger Agent; J. G. ELGIN, City Passenger Agent;
EVAN PROSSER, Traveling Passenger Agent; J. H. DORSEY, City Ticket Agent. 7th St. Station, A. J. CRONE, Ticket Agent.
MANSFIELD, OHIO, C. W. JONES, Ticket Agent.

MARIETTA, OHIO, G. M. PAYNE, Depot Ticket Agent; M. F. NOLL, City Ticket Agent, First National Bank Building.
MASSILLON, OHIO, W. H. RUCH, Ticket Agent.

NEWARK, N. J., E. E. HENDRICKSON, Ticket Agent.

NEWARK, OHIO, F. P. COPPER, Traveling Passenger Agent; F. C. BARTHOLOMEW, Ticket Agent.
NEW CASTLE, PA., R. L. TURNER, Ticket Agent.

NEW YORK, 434 Broadway, LYMAN MCCARTY, Assistant General Passenger Agent; ROBERT SKINNER, Traveling Passenger
Agent; H. B. FAROAT, City Passenger Agent; E. D. AINSLIE, Ticket Agent. 1300 Broadway, S. R. FLANAGAN, Ticket Agent;
A. E. SCHAEFFER, Passenger Agent. No. 6 Astor House, A. J. OESTERLA, Ticket Agent. 261 Broadway, THOS. COOK & SON,
Ticket Agents. 108 Greenwich Street, FRANK ZOTTI, Ticket Agent. 25 Union Square, West, RAYMOND & WHITCOMB, Ticket
Agents. 391 Grand Street, HYMAN WERNER, Ticket Agent. Stations, South Ferry, foot of Whitehall Street, and foot of
Liberty Street, N. R.

NORFOLK, VA., 10 Granby Street, Atlantic Hotel, ARTHUR G. LEWIS, Southern Passenger Agent; I. L. SPERRY, Ticket Agent. OMAHA, NEB., 504-5 First National Bank Building, J. C. BURCH, Traveling Passenger Agent.

PARKERSBURG, W. VA., J. MCC. MARTIN, Traveling Passenger Agent; C. T. PROUDFOOT, Ticket Agent.
PHILADELPHIA, 834 Chestnut Street, BERNARD ASHBY, District Passenger Agent; J. M. BENNETT, Traveling Passenger Agent;
D. D. COURTNEY, Traveling Passenger Agent; C. D. GLADDING, Ticket Agent. N. E. Cor. 13th and Chestnut Streets,
C. E. WATERS, Ticket Agent. 1005 Chestnut Street, RAYMOND & WHITCOMB, Ticket Agents. 3962 Market Street, UNION
TRANSFER Co., Ticket Agents. 609 South 3d Street and 1146 North 2d Street, M. ROSENBAUM, Ticket Agent. Station, Cor.
24th and Chestnut Streets, W. W. BAEKEY, Ticket Agent.

PITTSBURG, 315 Park Building, E. D. SMITH, Assistant General Passenger Agent; A. W. TIDDY, Traveling Passenger Agent.
Cor. 5th Avenue and Wood Street, E. D. STEINMAN, City Ticket Agent. M. B. WALKER, City Passenger Agent; R. O. ROBERTS,
Assistant City Passenger Agent. 506 Smithfield Street, J. V. McCORMICK, Ticket Agent. 609 Smithfield Street, FRANK
ZOTTI & CO., Ticket Agents. Station, Cor. Smithfield and Water Streets, S. J. HUTCHISON, Ticket Agent.
SANDUSKY, OHIO, T. B. TUCKER, Ticket Agent.

SAN FRANCISCO, CAL., Room 1, Hobart Building, PETER HARVEY, Pacific Coast Agent.

SPRINGFIELD, ILL., N. J. NEER. Division Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

ST. LOUIS, B. & O. S.-W., 6th and Olive Streets, F. D. GILDERSLEEVE, Assistant General Passenger Agent; H. C. STEVENSON, City Passenger Agent; L. L. HORNING, City Ticket Agent: F. W. AMICK, Station Passenger Agent; L. G. PAUL, Traveling Passenger Agent.

ST. PAUL, MINN., R. C. HAASE, Traveling Passenger Agent.

TIFFIN, OHIO, W. C. FRANCE, Ticket Agent.

VINCENNES, IND., W. P. TOWNSEND, Division Passenger Agent, B. & O. S.-W.

WASHINGTON, D. C., 707 15th Street, N. W. Cor. New York Avenue, S. B. HEGE, District Passenger Agent; H. P. BALDWIN, City Passenger Agent; E. A. BAUGHMAN, Passenger Agent; H. R. HOWSER, Ticket Agent. 619 Pennsylvania Avenue, W. V. FISKE, Ticket Agent. Station, New Jersey Avenue and C Street, S. E. EASTBURN, Ticket Agent.

WHEELING, W. VA., B. & O. Station, T. C. BURKE, Traveling Passenger Agent; A. L. IRWIN. Station Ticket Agent.
McLure House, O. R. WOOD, City Ticket Agent.

WILMINGTON, DEL., Delaware Avenue Station, J. E. HITCH, Ticket Agent. 804 Market Street, W. FULTON, Ticket Agent;
H. A. MILLER, Traveling Passenger Agent.
WINCHESTER, VA., T. B. PATTON, Ticket Agent.
YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO, JAMES AIKEN, Ticket Agent.
ZANESVILLE, OHIO, JAS. H. LEE, Ticket Agent.

EUROPEAN AGENTS, BALTIMORE EXPORT & IMPORT Co., Limited, 23, 24 and 25 Billiter Street, London, E. C.; 21 Water
Street. Liverpool, England.
In addition to offices and depots named above, tickets over the B. & O. may be obtained at
TICKET OFFICES THROUGHOUT THE COUNTRY.

C. W. BASSETT, General Passenger Agent,
Baltimore & Ohio Lines East, Baltimore, Md.

B. N. AUSTIN, General Passenger Agent,
Baltimore & Ohio Lines West, Chicago, Ill.

D. B. MARTIN, Manager Passenger Traffic,
Baltimore & Ohio R. R., Baltimore, Md.

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