I and Knavery, poor Peter was grown distracted, and conceived the strangest Imaginations in the World. In the Height of his Fits (as it is usual with those who run mad out of Pride) He would call Himself *God Almighty, and sometimes Monarch of the Universe. have seen him, (says my Author) take three old † highcrown'd Hats, and clap them all on his Head, three Story high, with a huge Bunch of Keys at his Girdle, and an Angling Rod in his Hand. In which Guise, whoever went to take him by the Hand in the way of Salutation, Peter with much Grace, like a well educated Spaniel, would present them with his §Foot, and if they refused his Civility, then he would raise it as high as their Chops, and give them a damn'd Kick on the Mouth, which hath ever since been call'd [a]' Salute. Who 2 ever walkt by, without paying him their Complements having a wonderful strong Breath, he would blow their Hats off into the Dirt. Mean time, his Affairs at home went upside down; and his two Brothers had a wretched Time; Where his first ||Boutade3 was, to *The Pope is not only allow'd to be the Vicar of Christ, but by several Divines is call'd God upon Earth, and other blasphemous Titles. + The Triple Crown. + The Keys of the Church. Ibid. The Pope's Universal Monarchy, and his Triple Crown, [and Keys, and Fisher's Ring. W. Wotton. § Neither does his arrogant way of requiring men to kiss his Slipper, escape Reflexion. Wotton. This Word properly signifies a sudden Jerk, or Lash of an Horse, when you do not expect it. I 2 'call'd a Salute' edd. 1-4. 'Compliments' edd. 1-3. 3 A sudden motion or outbreak. The word is found in English before Swift, but he felt the need of explaining it in a letter to Mrs. Pendarves, October 7, 1734: 'It is, you know, a French word, ✦ and Keys' Notes 1711. : kick both their Wives one Morning out of Doors, and his own too, and in their stead, gave Orders to pick up the first three Strolers could be met with in the Streets. A while after, he nail'd up the CellarDoor and would not allow his Brothers a † Drop of Drink to their Victuals. Dining one Day at an Alderman's in the City, Peter observed him expatiating after the Manner of his Brethren, in the Praises of his Surloyn of Beef. Beef, said the Sage Magistrate, is the King of Meat; Beef comprehends in it the Quintessence of Partridge, and Quail, and Venison, and Pheasant,2 and Plum-pudding, and Custard. When Peter came home, he would needs take the Fancy of cooking up this Doctrine into Use, and apply the Precept in default of a Surloyn, to his brown Loaf: Bread, says he, Dear Brothers, is the Staff of Life; in which Bread is contained, inclusivè, the Quintessence of Beef, Mutton, Veal, Venison, Partridge, Plum-pudding, and Custard: And to render all compleat, there is intermingled a due Quantity of Water, whose Crudities are also corrected by Yeast or Barm, thro' which means it becomes a wholesome fermented Liquor, diffused thro' the Mass of the Bread.3 the Bread. Upon the Strength *The Celibacy of the Romish Clergy is struck at in Peter's beating his own and Brothers Wives out of Doors. W. Wotton. The Pope's refusing the Cup to the Laity, persuading them that the Blood is contain'd in the Bread, and that the Bread is the real and entire Body of Christ. of these Conclusions, next Day at Dinner was the brown Loaf served up in all the Formality of a City Feast. Come Brothers, said Peter, fall to, and spare not; here is excellent good * Mutton; or hold, now my Hand is in, I'll help you. At which word, in much Ceremony, with Fork and Knife, he carves out two good Slices of a Loaf, and presents each on a Plate to his Brothers. The Elder of the two not suddenly entring into Lord Peter's Conceit, began with very civil Language to examine the Mystery. My Lord, said he, I doubt, with great Submission, there may be some Mistake. What, says Peter, you are pleasant; Come then, let us hear this Jest, your Head is so big with. None in the World, my Lord; but unless I am very much deceived, your Lordship was pleased a while ago, to let fall a Word about Mutton, and I would be glad to see it with all my Heart. How, said Peter, appearing in great Surprise, I do not comprehend this at all-Upon which, the younger interposing, to set the Business right; My Lord, said he, My Brother, I suppose is hungry, and longs for the Mutton, your Lordship hath promised us to Dinner. Pray, said Peter, take me * Transubstantiation. Peter turns his Bread into Mutton, and according to the Popish Doctrine of Concomitants, his Wine too, which in his way he calls, Pauming his damn'd Crusts upon the Brothers for Mutton. W. Wotton. Swift's hand; see Scott, Memoirs of Swift, prefixed to Works (1824), vol. i. p. 83. 'A strange passage, which Quevedo has put into the mouth of a drunken bully, may, in the opinion of Mr. T. Swift, have suggested the noted ridicule on transubstantiation. It occurs in the tenth chapter of the History of Paul the Sharper' (Scott, op. cit. p. 84). Mr. T. Swift' is Theophilus Swift (1746-1815), son of Deane Swift. 6 Another supposed source, Buckingham's Conference with an Irish Priest', is dealt with in the Apology', pp. 13-15. To all these suggestions the reply there given is sufficient. Swift was able to 'invent' this allegory, 'without enquiring what other People had writ'. of the Loaf' ed. 1. |