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That this might be the last gift he should give;
That this would fetch you; if you died to-day,
And gave him all, what he should be to-morrow;
What large return would come of all his
ventures;

How he should worshipped be, and reverenced;
Ride with his furs, and foot-cloths; waited on
By herds of fools and clients; have clear way 100
Made for his mule, as lettered as himself;
Be called the great and learned advocate:
And then concludes, there's nought impossible.
Volp. Yes, to be learned, Mosca.

Mos. O, no: rich

Implies it. Hood an ass with reverend purple,
So you can hide his two ambitious ears,
And he shall pass for a cathedral doctor.5

Volp. My caps, my caps, good Mosca. Fetch
him in.

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Now, my feigned cough, my phthisic, and my gout,

My apoplexy, palsy, and catarrhs,

Help, with your forced functions, this my posture,

Wherein, this three year, I have milked their hopes.

He comes; I hear him-Uh![coughing.] uh!

uh! uh! O——

Re-enter Mosca, introducing Voltore with a

piece of Plate.

Volp. I thank you, Signior Voltore;

Where is the plate? mine eyes are bad.

Volt. [putting it into his hands.] I'm sorry To see you still thus weak.

I

Mos.

That he's not weaker.

Volp. You are too munificent.

[Aside.

Volt. No, sir; would to heaven,

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could as well give health to you, as that plate!

Volp. You give, sir, what you can; I thank you. Your love

Hath taste in this, and shall not be unanswered:

I pray you see me often.

Volt.

Yes, I shall, sir.

Volp. Be not far from me.

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Volp. I cannot now last long

Mos. You are his heir, sir.
Volt. Am I?

Volp. I feel me going: Uh! uh! uh! uh!
I'm sailing to my port, Uh! uh! uh! uh!

Mos. You still are what you were, sir. Only And I am glad I am so near my haven.

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170

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I am a man that hath not done your love
All the worst offices: here I wear your keys, 190
See all your coffers and your caskets locked,
Keep the poor inventory of your jewels,
Your plate, and monies; am your steward, sir,
Husband your goods here.

Volt. But am I sole heir?

Or see a copy of the Will?-Anon11!—
I'll bring them to you, sir. Away, begone,
Put business in your face. [Exit Voltore.
Volp.[springing up.] Excellent Mosca!
Come hither, let me kiss thee.

Mos. Keep you still, sir.
Here is Corbaccio.

Volp. Set the plate away:

The vulture's gone, and the old raven's come. Mos. Betake you to your silence, and your

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sleep. Stand there and multiply. [Putting the plate to the rest.] Now we shall see

Mos. Without a partner, sir: confirmed this A wretch who is indeed more impotent

morning:

The wax is warm yet, and the ink scarce dry

Upon the parchment.

Volt. Happy, happy me!

By what good chance, sweet Mosca? Mos. Your desert, sir;

I know no second cause.

Volt. Thy modesty

Than this can feign to be; yet hopes to hop Over his grave.

Enter Corbaccio.
Signior Corbaccio!

200 You're very welcome, sir.
Corb. How does your patron?

Is not to know it10; well, we shall requite it. Mos. He ever liked your course, sir; that first took him.

210

I oft have heard him say how he admired
Men of your large profession, that could speak
To every cause, and things mere contraries,
Till they were hoarse again, yet all be law;
That, with most quick agility, could turn,
And return; make knots, and undo them;
Give forked counsel; take provoking11 gold
On either hand, and put it up12; these men,
He knew, would thrive with their humility.
And, for his part, he thought he should be blest
To have his heir of such a suffering spirit,
So wise, so grave, of so perplexed a tongue,
And loud withal, that would not wag, nor

scarce

Lie still, without a fee; when every word
Your worship but lets fall, is a chequin13! 220
[Knocking without.
Who's that? one knocks; I would not have you
seen, sir.

And yet pretend you came, and went in haste;
I'll fashion an excuse-and, gentle sir,
When you do come to swim in golden lard,
Up to the arms in honey, that your chin
Is borne up stiff with fatness of the flood,
Think on your vassal; but remember me:
I have not been your worst of clients.
Folt. Mosca!-

Mos. When will you have your inventory brought, sir?

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230

13 sequin; an Italian coin worth about 9s

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Mos.

He has no faith in physic: he does
think

Most of your doctors are the greater danger,
And worse disease, to escape.
I often have
Heard him protest that your15 physician
Should never be his heir.

Corb. Not I his heir?

Mos. Not your physician, sir.
Corb. O, no, no, no.

I do not mean it.

Mos. No, sir, nor their fees

He cannot brook: he says they flay a man

14 at once (addressed to the one knocking) 15 a

270

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Mos. Flows a cold sweat, with a continual Give me it again.

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Mos. He smelt a carcase, sir, when he but If you will hear, sir.

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Corb. Yes, with all my heart.

Mos. Now would I counsel you, make home I'll straight about it.

with speed;

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Corb. Ay, do, do, do:

[Going.

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Volp. O, but thy working, and thy placing it!

I cannot hold; good rascal, let me kiss thee:
I never knew thee in so rare a humour.
Mos. Alas, sir, I but do as I am taught;
Follow your grave instructions; give them
words;

400 Pour oil into their ears, and send them hence.
Volp. "Tis true, 'tis true. What a rare
punishment

Corb. I thought on that too. See, how he

Mos.

should be

410

The very organ to express my thoughts!
You have not only done yourself a
good-

Corb. But multiplied it on my son.

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Is avarice to itself!

BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER
(1584-1616) (1579-1625)

FROM THE KNIGHT OF THE BURNING
PESTLE.*

INDUCTION.

Several Gentlemen sitting on Stools upon the Stage. The Citizen, his Wife, and Ralph sitting below among the audience.

Enter Speaker of the Prologue.

S. of Prol. "From all that's near the court, from all that's great,

24 may cheat pursue you, 25 flow

cheat!

This play was written and acted about 1611. Like Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, it is made up of diverse elements-a romantic comedy and a burlesque. Herein are given a few scenes of the latter, which can easily be detached from the main plot. It

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S. of Prol.

And a freeman ?3

Cit. Yea, and a grocer.

S. of Prol. So, grocer, then, by your sweet favour, we intend no abuse to the city.

Cit. No, sir! yes, sir: if you were not resolved to play the Jacks, what need you study for new subjects, purposely to abuse your betters? why could not you be contented, as well as others, with "The Legend of Whittington, ' or The Life and Death of Sir Thomas Gresham, with the building of the Royal Exchange,'' or "The story of Queen Eleanor, with the rearing of London Bridge upon wool sacks?''t

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S. of Proi. You seem to be an understand. ing man: what would you have us do, sir? Cit. Why, present something notably in honour of the commons of the city.

S. of Prol. Why, what do you say to "The Life and Death of fat Drake, or the Repairing of Fleet Sewers?"

Cit. I do not like that; but I will have a citizen, and he shall be of my own trade.

S. of Prol. Oh, you should have told us your mind a month since; our play is ready to begin now.

Cit. 'Tis all one for that; I will have a

must be understood that it was the custom at theaters to admit gallants and others who liked to be conspicuous, and who were willing to pay an extra sixpence, to seats on the stage, where they often abused their privilege by indulging in audible criticism of the play and players. The authors of the present drama ingeniously staged that custom as a part of their own play and took the opportunity to satirize both the taste and understanding of their dunce-critics. Furthermore, they wove in a burlesque upon the romantic extravagance of knight-errantry, presenting in Ralph, the grocer's apprentice, another Don Quixote, like him whose immortal deeds had been given to the world's laughter but a few years before. 1 Supply "that." 4 play the knave (cp. 2 always The Tempest, IV., i., 918) 5 ordinary citizens

3 one invested with full citizen's rights These are titles of old plays, more or less distorted; the reference to London Bridge is a jesting addition. The title proposed five lines farther down is of course a jest.

Cit. So he shall.-I'll have him kill a lion with a pestle.

Wife. [below.] Husband! shall I come up, husband?

Cit. Ay, cony.-Ralph, help your mistress this way.-Pray, gentlemen, make her a little room. I pray you, sir, lend me your hand to help up my wife: I thank you, sir.-So.

[Wife comes on the Stage.

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Wife. By your leave, gentlemen all; I'm something troublesome: I'm a stranger here; I was ne'er at one of these plays, as they say, before; but I should have seen 'Jane Shore' once; and my husband hath promised me, any time this twelvemonth, to carry me to "The Bold Beauchamps," but in truth he did not. I pray you, bear with me.

Cit. Boy, let my wife and I have a couple of stools, and then begin; and let the grocer do rare things. [Stools are brought.

S. of Prol. But, sir, we have never a boy to play him: every one hath a part already.

Wife. Husband, husband, for God's sake, let Ralph play him! beshrew me, if I do not think he will go beyond them all.

Cit. Well remembered, wife.-Come up, Ralph.-I'll tell you, gentlemen; let them but lend him a suit of reparel and necessaries, and, by gad, if any of them all put him to shame, I'll be hanged.

[Ralph comes on the Stage. Wife. I pray you, youth, let him have a suit of reparel!-I'll be sworn, gentlemen, my husband tells you true: he will act you sometimes at our house, that all the neighbours cry out on him; he will fetch you up a couragings part so in the garret, that we are all as feared, I warrant you, that we quake again: we'll fears our children with him; if they be never so unruly, do but cry, "Ralph comes, Ralph comes!" to them, and they'll be as quiet as lambs.-Hold up thy head. Ralph; show the

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