PREFACE.

COURTEOUS READER,

A GOOD title page ought, methinks, like a bill of fare at a tavern, to contain such a list of the articles dished up by the literary cook for the entertainment of the public, as may enable his reader at once to determine, whether the book contains any thing likely to suit his taste and palate. In this respect, the editor of the following pages trusts that he has not been deficient; and, like mine host of the Red Lion, at Brentford, or any other well-accustomed house upon the road, he begs leave to assure his friends and the public in general, that the feast which he has prepared for their mental gratification, consists of viands of the choicest flavour, served up in such variety and abundance as to

suit every appetite, whatever may be its preten sions to that exquisite gout, which can relish nothing but the finest strokes of wit;-or, voracious as it may be in devouring the more substantial provocatives to broad-grin mirth, and shouts and peals of merriment. Care, however, has been taken, that nothing should be introduced, which in proportion as it is savory to the taste, is destructive of the health; or, to drop all tropes and figures (the syllabubs and whipt creams of the art of composition) nothing will be found in the following pages, which, whilst it promotes the mirth, can injure the morals, or offend the proper delicacy of any of their readers, whatever may be their sex, their age, or the station in life which they occupy. It is therefore hoped, that the care with which it has thus been formed, combined with the originality of its arrangement, will give to the present collection a decided advantage over those that are now in existence. It is far from being the editor's wish to exalt his own production upon the ruin of others; but he cannot avoid remarking, that out of the many selections of a similar kind, which have been consulted for the

purpose of forming that now presented to the public, there are comparatively few which possess the merit of being witty without being either profane or grossly indecent; whilst he can truly say, that he has met with none that have any pretensions to be ample, without containing many jests twice, and even thrice repeated. The latter inconvenience must indeed inevitably result from the entire want of arrangement that has pervaded nearly the whole of the selections of his predecessors; though it is so completely obviated by the present plan, that its projector may confidently assert, that in the thousand bon-mots which compose this collection, there is not a single repetition. This is no inconsiderable advantage, but it will perhaps be found to be a greater, that by this sort of classification now for the first time adopted, the reader may easily select such specimens of wit as may suit his own taste, humour, or pursuits, or as may be most adapted to the company in which he may be placed, or the topics of conversation in which he may be engaged.

To the members of the various professions, the editor scarcely need to make any apology

for putting in so formidable an array the strokes of wit which have from time to time been aimed at their habits, failings, and most besetting sins as a body; or the keen retorts-the biting jibes and jests, which have been individually addressed to their most distinguished members. He might, to be sure, modestly drop a sort of hint, en passant, that he himself is a member of one of the learned professions, (leaving it of course to the liberality of his readers to determine in what rank in that profession he may moye, or fag and toil ;) and that too, one that has borne, at least, its full share of the brunt of public odium, and of unrelenting satire. He might also add, that several of the bon-mots in the present collection were furnished by professional friends, whose minds soared above the foolish and childish notion, that every joke upon a tythe pig, a brazen face, or a killing potion, was an insult offered to the church, to the bar, or to the college, which no member of the profession so disparaged, ought to hesitate a moment in resenting as an insult offered to himself. He prefers, however, resting his claim to exemption from all such censure, on the perfect impartiality which