A TALE OF A TUB.

SECTION I.

THE

INTRODUCTION.

Whoever hath an ambition to be heard in a crowd, must press, and squeeze, and thrust, and climb with indefatigable pains, till he has exalted himself to a certain degree of altitude above them. Now, in all assemblies, though you wedge them ever so close, we may observe this peculiar property that, over their head there is room enough; but how to reach it is the difficult point, it being as hard to get quit of numbers as of hell. Evadere ad auras

Hoc opus, hic labor est.

To this end, the philosopher's way in all ages has been, by erecting 1) certain edifices in the air. But, whatever practice and reputation these kinds of structures have formerly possessed, or may still continue in, not excepting even that of Socrates, when he was suspended in a basket to help contemplation; I think, with due submission, they seem to labour under two inconveniencies. First, that the foundations being laid too high, they have been often out of sight, and ever out of hearing. Secondly, that the materials, being very transitory, have suffered much from inclemencies of air 2), especially in these north-west regions.

Therefore, towards 3) the just performance") of this great work, there remain but three methods that I can think on, whereof the wisdom of our ancestors, being highly sensible, has 3) to encourage all aspiring ) adventurers, thought fit to erect three

has thought fit, etc. 6) aspiring, eigentlich: trachtend, heftig verlangend, hier so viel als: ruhmbegierig, nach Ehre

wooden machines for the use of those orators who desire to talk much without interruption. These are: the pulpit, the ladder, and the stage itinerant. For, as to 7) the bar ), though) it be compounded of the same matter, and designed for the same use, it cannot however be well allowed the honour of a fourth, by reason of its level or inferior situation, exposing it to perpetual interruption from collaterals. Neither can 10) the bench) itself, though raised to a proper eminence, put in a better claim, whatever its advocates insist on. Fór, if they please to look into the original design of its erection, and the circumstances or adjunct subservient to that design, they will soon acknowledge the present practice exactly correspondent to the primitive institution; and both to answer the etymology of the name, which, in the phoenician tongue, is a word of great signification, importing, if literally interpreted, the place of sleep; but in common acceptation 12), a seat, well bolstered and cushioned, for the repose of old and gouty limbs, Senes ut in otia tuta recedant. Fortune being indebted to them this part of retaliation, that as formerly, they have long talked, whilst others slept; so now they must sleep as long, whilst others talk.

But if no other argument could occur to exclude the bench and the bar from the list of oratorical machines 13), it were sufficient, that the admission of them would overthrow a number which I was resolved to establish, whatever argument it might cost me; in imitation of that prudent method observed by many other philosophers and great clerks, whose chief art in division

trachtend. 7) as in Verbindung mit to oder for drückt das deutsche in Ansehung, in Hinsicht, was betrifft, aus. 8) bar, Gerichtsschranke. 9) though muss nicht den Conjunctiv nach sich haben (wie einige Grammatiker behaupteten), es kann auch der Indicativ folgen; es hängt immer von dem Sinne des Satzes ab, ob der Conjunct. oder Indicat. gesetzt werden muss. Man gebraucht hauptsächlich da den Conjunct., wo Zweifel und Bedingung, oder wo etwas Zufälliges mit Bezug auf die Zukunft zugleich ausgedrückt werden soll. 10) Man construire: can put in etc. 11) bench, Gerichtsbank. 12) acceptation hier Sinn (eines Worts).

13) machine, Kunst

has been to grow fond of some proper mystical number, which their imaginations have rendered sacred, to such a degree, that they force common reason to find room for it in every part of nature; reducing, including, and adjusting every genus and species within that compass, by coupling some against their wills, and banishing others at any rate. Now, among all the rest, the profound 1) number THREE is that which hath most employed my sublimest speculations, nor ever without wonderful delight. There 15) is now in the press, (and will be published next term) 16) a Panegyrical Essay of mine 17) upon this number, wherein I have, by most convincing proofs, not only reduced the senses and the elements under its banner, but brought over 18) several deserters from its too great rivals, Seven and Nine.

21

1

Now the first of these oratorical machines, in place "") as well as dignity, is the pulpit. Of pulpits there are in this island several sorts. But I esteem only that made of timber, from the Sylva Caledonia 2o), which agrees very well with our climate. If it be upon its decay it is the better, both for 21) conveyance 22) of sound, and for other reasons, to be mentioned 23) by and by. The degree of perfection in shape and size, I take 24) to consist in being extremely narrow, with little ornament, and best of all without a cover; (for, by ancient rule, it ought 25) to be

gerüst. — 14) profound, tief, fi g ür 1. dunkel, tiefsinnig, hier so viel als geheimnissvoll. 15) there vertritt bei to be die Stelle des deutschen es, wenn man nicht irgend einen Theils des Satzes herausheben will, sondern die Ausdrücke es ist, es sind auf den ganzen Satz gehen. 16) next term, so viel als next time, nächstens.17) of mine, statt of me. 18) to bring over, fig. bereden, zu einer andern Partei bringen.

19) place, hier: Rang.

20) d. i. aus Schottland, wo die Presbyterianer, die oft der Gegenstand von Swifts Satyre sind, die herrschende Kirche ausmachen. 21) for für as for, in Ansehung, in Hinsicht. 22) conveyance, Fortschaffung, hier so viel als Verbreitung. 23) to be mentioned, was ich erwähnen werde. 24) to take, meinen, halten für, ... dass. 25) ought, muss, ist der Ausdruck für Pflicht, oder es zeigt an, dass Gebrauch, Vorschriften oder Verhältnisse erfordern, dass etwas gesche

the only uncovered vessel in every assembly where it is rightfully used) by which means 26), from its near resemblance to a pillory, it will ever have a mighty influence on human ears.

Of ladders I need 27) say nothing. It is observed by foreigners themselves, to the honour of our country, that we excel all nations in our practice and understanding of this machine. The ascending orators do not only oblige their audience in the agreeable delivery, but the whole world, in the early publication of their speeches 28), which I look upon as the choicest treasury of our British eloquence; and whereof I am informed, that worthy citizen and bookseller, Mr. John Dunton, hath made a faithful and a painful collection, which he shortly designs to publish in twelve volumes in folio, illustrated with copper-plates; a work highly useful and curious, and altogether worthy of such a hand!

The last engine of orators is the stage itinerant, erected with much sagacity, sub Jove pluvio, in triviis et quadriviis. It is the greatest seminary of the two former; and its orators are sometimes preferred to the one, and sometimes to the other, in proportion to their deservings; there being a strict and perpetual intercourse between all three.

From this accurate deduction it is manifest, that, for obtaining in public, there is of necessity 29) required a superior position of place. But although this point be generally granted, yet the cause is little agreed in; and it seems to me, that very few philosophers have fallen into a true, natural solution of this phenomenon. The deepest account, and the most fairly digested 3°) of any I have yet met with 31), is this, - That air being a heavy body, and therefore (according to the system of Epicurus 32) continually descending, must needs be more so, when loa

he.

27) Nach to 28) In England

26) by which means, vermittelst dessen. need, brauchen, fällt gewöhnlich to weg. halten die Missethäter Reden auf der Galgenleiter, die von den Geistlichen meistens verfasst sind und in Druck gegeben werden. 30) digested, angenommen.

29) of necessity, nothwendig.

-

32) Epicur, ein griech. Vgl. Lucretii: de rerum

31) to meet with, antreffen, erlangen. Philosoph, geb. um 342 vor Ch.

na

den and pressed down by words; which are also bodies of much weight and gravity, as it is manifest from those deep impressions they make and leave upon us; and therefore must be delivered from a due altitude, or else 33) they will neither carry a good aim, nor fall down with a sufficient force.

Corpoream quoque enim vocem constare fatendum est,

Et sonitum, quoniam possunt impellere sensus.

Lucr. lib. 4.

And I am the readier to favour this conjecture, from a common observation: that, in the several assemblies of these orators, nature itself hath instructed the hearers to stand with their mouths open, and erected parallel to the horizon, so as 34) they may 35) be intersected by a perpendicular line from the zenith 3) to the centre of the earth; in which position, if the audience be well compact, every 37) one carries home a share, and little or nothing is lost.

I confess, there is something yet more refined in the contrivance and structure of our modern theatres. For, first, the pit 38) is sunk below the stage, with due regard to the institution above deduced; that whatever weighty matter shall be delivered thence, (whether it be lead or gold) may fall plum 39) into the jaws of certain critics (as I think they are called) which stand ready open to devour them. Then the boxes 4°) are built round, and raised to a level with the scene, in deference to the ladies, because that large portion of wit, laid out 41) in raising pruriences 42) and protuberances 43), is observed to run much upon a line, and ever in a circle. The whining passions, and little starved con

tura. dass.

Lib. II. 33) or else, oder aber, sonst. 34) so as, SO 35) may hat nicht bloss den Begriff von dürfen und mögen, sondern es ist auch dem deutschen können gleichbedeutend, wenn dieses eine Möglichkeit anzeigt; auch steht es, wo im Deutschen der Conjunctiv erforderlich ist. 36)-zenith, der Scheitelspunct, d. h. der gerade über unserm Kopfe und also am höchsten liegende Punct der Himmelskugel (arabisch Zenith). 37) every wird jetzt nur in Verbindung mit einem Substantiv gebraucht, oder es ist wie hier von one begleitet.

38) pit, Par