Prescribe all rules of right or wrong,
To th' long robe, and the longer tongue;
'Gainst which the world has no defence,
But our more pow'rful eloquence.
We manage things of greatest weight
In all the world's affairs of state,
Are ministers of war and peace,

295

That sway all nations how we please.

We rule all churches and their flocks,

Heretical and orthodox,

300

And are the heavenly vehicles

O' th' spirits, in all conventicles:

By us is all commerce and trade

Improv'd, and manag'd, and decay'd;

For nothing can go off so well,

305

Nor bears that price, as what we sell.

We rule in ev'ry public meeting,

And make men do what we judge fitting;
Are magistrates in all great towns,

Where men do nothing, but wear gowns.

310

We make the man of war strike sail,

And to our braver conduct veil,

And, when h' has chas'd his enemies,
Submit to us upon his knees.

303. This regards the influence which the tides, intimately connected with the changes of the moon, are well known to have upon commercial affairs.

Is there an officer of state,
Untimely rais'd, or magistrate,
That's haughty and imperious?
He's but a journeyman to us:
That as he gives us cause to do't,
Can keep him in, or turn him out.

We are your guardians, that increase,

Or waste your fortunes how we please;
And, as you humour us, can deal

In all your matters, ill or well.

'Tis we that can dispose alone,
Whether your heirs shall be your own,
To whose integrity you must,
In spite of all your caution, trust;
And 'less you fly beyond the seas,

Can fit you with what heirs we please ;
And force you t' own 'em, though begotten
By French valets, or Irish footmen.

315

320

325

330

Nor can the rigorousest course

Prevail, unless to make us worse;

Who still the harsher we are us'd,

335

Are farther off from b'ing reduc'd:
And scorn t' abate, for any ills,
The least punctilios of our wills.
Force does but whet our wits t' apply

Arts, born with us, for remedy;

340

Which all your politics, as yet,

Have ne'er been able to defeat:

For when y' have try'd all sorts of ways,
What fools d'we make of you in plays?
While all the favours we afford,
Are but to girt you with the sword,

To fight our battles in our steads,

345

And have your brains beat out o' your heads;
Encounter, in despite of nature,

And fight at once with fire and water,

With pirates, rocks, and storms, and seas,
Our pride and vanity t' appease;

Kill one another, and cut throats,
For our good graces, and best thoughts ;
To do your exercise for honour,

And have brains beat out the sooner;

your

Or crack'd, as learnedly, upon

Things that are never to be known:

And still appear the more industrious,

350

355

The more your projects are prepost'rous; 360

To square the circle of the arts,

And run stark mad to shew your parts;

Expound the oracle of laws,

And turn them which way we see cause;

Be our solicitors and agents,

365

And stand for us in all engagements.

And these are all the mighty pow'rs You vainly boast, to cry down ours; And what in real value's wanting, Supply with vapouring and ranting:

370

Because yourselves are terrify'd,
And stoop to one another's pride;

Believe we have as little wit
To be outhector'd and submit:

By your example, lose that right

In treaties, which we gain'd in fight:
And terrify'd into an awe,

Pass on ourselves a Salique law:

Or, as some nations use, give place,
And truckle to your mighty race,
Let men usurp th' unjust dominion,
As if they were the better women.

375

380

THE

ELEPHANT

IN THE

MOON.

A LEARN'D Society of late,
The glory of a foreign state,

ELEPHANT IN THE MOON.

1. If the method of explaining Hudibras, resorted to in the preceding part of this volume, be subject to any doubt, that doubt will be removed on a perusal of a few notes upon another Poem, attributed to the same Samuel Butler, the received author of Hudibras. This Poem, in no degree less ingenious than Hudibras itself, is the Elephant in the Moon, written, as it is said, in satire of the Royal Society of the day. The way in which the satire operates, is by imputing the fruits of their lucubrations to the influence of lunacy, under which idea I shall enter upon an illustration of the poem in the same manner as I have endeavoured to throw light upon Hudibras.

2. If, as will presently be seen, the characters of this Poem are to be traced to the moon, that will sufficiently explain the epithet foreign, as the moon's brightness accounts for the term glory.