he proportionately increased my sense of guilt and condemnation.

I had seasons of very serious consideration upon religion. What instructions I had outwardly received, were mostly in the way of Friends; but when I came near to man's estate, falling in company with some of the Baptist society, I was drawn to attend their meetings in Providence. Friends' meetings were oftener held in silence than suited my itching ear. I loved to hear words, began to grow inquisitive, and to search pretty deeply into doctrines and tenets of religion; and the Baptist preachers filled my ears with words, and my head with arguments and distinctions; but my heart was little or not at all improved by them. I almost forsook the meetings of Friends, except Yearly Meetings, and meetings appointed by travellers in the service of the gospel.. But when I went to these, Oh! how livingly I still remember the heavenly and heart-tendering impressions I sometimes received under the animating testimony delivered in the life of the gospel. Here my heart was helped, though my head was less amused than among the Baptists: however, as I knew not clearly what caused the difference; as Friends' meetings remained still often silent; and as I still wished the gratification of argumentative systematick discourses; I still pretty diligently attended the Baptist meeting; and, in my most religious seasons, I began to think of being baptized in water. For the head

work so far outran the heart-work, during my attendance of these meetings, that I became convinced in speculation, that this outward performance was an ordinance of Christ: though I have since seen, that it never was ordained by Jesus ; but was a forerunning, preparatory, and decreasing institution, and has long since done its office, and ceased in the church in point of obligation; and that there is now to the true church but one Lord, one faith, and one baptism, that of the Holy Ghost, which only can purify and make clean the inside. Oh! my heart, my very soul, is fully satisfied in this matter; having felt the living efficacy of this one saving baptism, and known its full sufficiency, without any other.

What first turned my mind to believe the outward baptism a Christian ordinance, was this one argument of the Baptists-Christ commanded

his disciples to baptize; no man can baptize with the Holy Ghost; therefore the baptism he 'commanded, was not that of the Holy Ghost, but that of water.' This, at that time appeared to me conclusive, and unanswerable. But it was my ignorance of that baptizing power which attends all true gospel ministry, that made me assent to this false position; No man can baptize with the Holy Ghost.' Man himself, in his own mere ability, I know cannot; but I also know, that of himself he cannot preach the gospel. This assertion, No man can preach the gospel, is just as true as that, No man can baptize with the Holy

'Ghost.' As man merely, he can do nothing at all of either; but it still stands true, man can, through divine assistance, do both.

The real

gospel was never yet preached, but with the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven.'* Thus the apostles preached it, and thus alone it is still preached-and so preaching it, it was a baptizing ministry.

As they spake, the Holy Ghost fell on them that heard; that is, where faith wrought in the hearts of the hearers, and the l'viag eternal word preached, through the power of the Holy Ghost, was mixed with faith in them that heard it, the Holy Ghost fell on them, baptizing them into a living . soul-saving sense of the power of God to salvation,' which is the true life of the gospel. Thus the apostles fulfilled the commission. They taught baptizingly. The commission is not teach, and 'then baptize,' as two separate acts. It is, 'teach, baptizing-and those who livingly witness the gospel, the power of God to salvation, preached unto them, feel it, and receive it in, and only in, 'the Holy Ghost sent down from heaven,' they 6 are taught baptizingly, in the demonstration of

the Spirit and of power.' And no preaching has a whit more of the gospel in it, than it has of the Holy Ghost, the only true baptizing power. I do not marvel that the letter-learned teachers of our day, who run unsent, who are always ready,

* 1 Peter i. 12.

Rom. i. 16.

1 Cor. ii. 4,

are ignorant that a true gospel-minister is clothed with a baptizing authority from on high.—I may not now go much further into the discussion of the subject of baptism, though I scarcely know how to dismiss it, so many things occur in evidence that there is and can be but one in the gospel, and that this is and must be spiritual. *

I had not yet fully given up to the motions of divine life in my own heart. My mind was too much turned outward; and the preaching of those I sometimes went to hear, who preached in their own time, had a powerful tendency to keep it outward. In this state of outward attention and inquiry, I found nothing that could give me power over sin and corruption; but notwithstanding all my serious thoughtfulness, and frequent and ardent desires to become truly religious, I still, once in a while, brake loose, and launched forth into as great degrees of vanity and wickedness as ever and then again a turn of seriousness would

come over me.

One time, under deep exercise, after reasoning and hesitating great part of a day, whether I had best give up with full purpose of heart, to lead a religious life or not; at length I gave up, and entered once more into solemn covenant, to serve God, and deny myself, according to the best of my understanding. Almost as soon as I had thus

* See his treatise on Baptism.

given up, and come to this good conclusion, in stepped the grand adversary, and perplexed and distressed my mind exceedingly with the doctrine of predestination; powerfully insinuating that a certain number were infallibly ordained to eternal salvation, the rest to inevitable destruction; and that not all the religious exercises of my mind could possibly make any alteration in my final destination and allotment. If God had damned me from all eternity, I must be damned for ever; if he had chosen me to eternal salvation, I might set my heart at rest, and live just such a life as would most gratify my natural inclinations; for what advantage could there be in religion, and self-denial, if an eternal, unalterable decree secured my final end.

I felt willing to hope I was a chosen vessel; and for a short time these ideas so crowded into my mind, that I was even ready to conclude that a God who is all goodness, had doomed the far greater part of mankind to never ending misery, without any provocation on their part. I now view the doctrine of unconditional election to eternal life, and reprobation to eternal destruction, with abhorrence. I almost marvel, that under a cloud of darkness, my rational faculties could ever be so imposed upon, as to assent to só erroneous a sentiment. I know of no doctrine in the world, that more shockingly reflects on the character of the Deity.