support, and preserve, through all tossings, tempests, and dangers, both inward and outward. Yea, though the fig-tree should not blossom,

6

nor fruit be in the vine; though the labour of the olive should fail, the flocks be cut off from the fold, and no herd be in the stall;' though all earthly consolation should fail; yet still may, and if stedfastly patient and faithful, certainly shall, amidst all conflicts, dangers, and toils, at times and seasons, rejoice in the Lord,

and joy in the God of my salvation;'* and finally sing his praise for ever, in that habitation, the house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.

My dear wife and children, as also my friends, appeared glad of my safe return to them again; and on my own part, I was truly glad once more to be favoured with their endeared company and conversation. May we all so abide in the holy root of life, and so under the influence and direction of the inward light, as that we may be mutual helps and encouragements to each other, in the arduous path and pilgrimage of a truly Christian life; through the remaining course of time allotted us in this vale of tears, this scene of vicissitudes, tribulations, and joys.

I was out on this exercising journey a year and about fifteen days; and travelled, by computation,

Hab. iii. 17, 18.

And

about five thousand three hundred miles. though my trials and inward exercises have often been more deeply proving than I have words to convey, to any who have not travelled a path of like painful experience; yet I have ever found, that as faith and patience have been abode in, and sufferings quietly submitted t, the result has been, a coming forth with songs of praise and hallelujahs, into the victory and dominion of Truth, and the glorious liberty of the sons of God. And I think I may say, that through Divine help, without which I know I can do nothing, I have been preserved, through some of the deepest probations, and tribulation of my life, in more constant resignation to the Divine will, than ever was for a. like space of time, and under equal extremity of trial and varied anxiety, my attainment and experience before. Blessed for ever, over all, be the great name of the Lord; and to him be all the praise!

CHAP. IX.

An account of his Wife's last sickness and death. Some of her Dying Sayings, and his peculiar exercises and trials at that time, and especially on that occasion.

H

AVING thus performed the service required of me in the Southern States, I passed nearly three years at and about home; and had, as usual, many close trials and besetments to pass through, from time to time: and, in the Seventh month, 1791, it pleased the Mest High to prove me in a very near and heart-exercising manner, in the removal, by death, of my dearly beloved wife. This trial came at a time when I was otherwise deeply plunged into many probations, both inwardly and outwardly. My state indeed, to me, bore a lively resemblance to that of Job of old; wave on wave, and sorrow upon sorrow, seemed almost ready to swallow me up. But the Lord had an end in all my sorrows; and had he not been with me in the deeps, and borne up my head above the waters, I had been swallowed up suddenly, and drowned in the mighty waters of affliction!

I thought before my wife's sickness, it was very doubtful whether I should ever get safely through my many besetments; and, alas! in the midst of these trials, it pleased the Lord to take from me

the dear partner of my joys, and sympathizer in my sorrows. She was confined to her bedchamber two weeks; during great part of which time, she was in exquisite bodily pain, which she bore with becoming patience. One day she lay still and quiet, as if she was in a slumber; but, on hearing it remarked at night, that it had been a favourable day to her as to pain, she said that it' had been a day of much pain to her, though she had not complained; for she felt no liberty to complain; but found it her place to bear all that was laid upon her patiently.

I kept an account of divers lively expressions, which dropped from her in her sickness, and which abundantly evinced her resignation of mind, and acquiescence with the divine will, in regard to her approaching dissolution; which she seemed clearly sensible of, and divers times spoke of; but what I wrote was mislaid, and I have not since found it. I much regret the loss of it, and especially, because her advice to our dear children might have been very useful. She also gave very suitable advice to her brothers and sisters; and expressed her thankfulness to her parents, for their watchful and even restraining care, exercised towards her in her younger years, when she used to think a little more liberty would have been no harm; but now she saw she was then too ignorant of the dangerous tendency of those liberties, and rejoiced that they did not give way to her inclinations. She pressed it upon her brothers and

sisters to remember their parents in their old age; told them, they had done much for them when they were unable to help themselves; and now as their parents were growing old and feeble, they should be kind to them, and not forget them. She also desired them not to forget their brother, (meaning myself) saying, 'He will have many aflictions to pass through, with much care.” And likewise, forget not these little children; K they will miss their mother, and need the care of their uncles and aunts.' And, speaking to one of her sisters, she said; Thou hast done a < great deal for them, and must not think of doing 'less when their mother is gone.'

She charged it upon our children to be obedient to their father, loving to one another, and good to their aged grandfather. Two friends coming in, who had both been widowers, after several other weighty expressions, she desired them not to forget the afflicted; told them they knew something of such trials as her dear husband would be surrounded with, and that she hoped they would not be unmindful of him. I can scarcely write this account, without regretting the loss of that I wrote from day to day in her sickness.

One day, after expressing her entire willingness to be taken hence at this time, she said to me, but I have several times thought I should ' have been willing to have taken the care of