times I had lively impressions to say a few words more in public testimony; but still waited to be well assured. The unspeakable consolation which I found on my first uttering a few words, and that after a considerable time of rather holding back, than hasty procedure, had fully confirmed me that there is greater safety in turning the fleece, and well proving it, both wet and dry, than in rushing forward in the first operations or openings. The beasts allowed in sacrifice, were to chew the cud and divide the hoof. Chewing the cud is a deliberate act: they chew and swallow, and chew and swallow again. The division of the hoof, being on the stepping member, shews the danger of taking a single step in divine services, without a clear division of things, and the way cast up in the mind. As I thus waited for clearness, not being, by once succeeding, encouraged to run too fast, I was favoured to know the fire of the Lord rightly kindled upon his altar; and to witness an offering of his own preparing. And I am well assured that such, and such only, are the offerings which will find acceptance with him. He never will reject these, any more than accept those of human obtruding.

My second public appearance in the ministry was at the lower meeting-house in Smithfield, the 19th of the 10th month, 1774, when I found a living concern to encourage a careful engagement before the Lord, out of meetings; and to press it upon Friends to draw nigh unto him

from day to day, that strength may be renewed, and the divine savour of life retained; lest we lose the living sense of what we often graciously enjoy in our religious meetings. Life, divine life, attended me in this little testimony, as in the former and after meeting I enjoyed the sweet influence of him who is the God of my salvation, in a degree that was greatly to my confirmation and encouragement.

4

After this I still continued seeking unto and waiting upon God for counsel and direction; in which frame of mind I was favoured to renew and increase a living acquaintance with him ; and witnessed fresh instruction to my mind. I appeared but seldom in public testimony, and mostly in a few words at a time; and yet I have some few times been made sensible of saying too much; and for which I have felt more pain of mind than I have often felt, if ever, for withholding. However, through merciful preservation, I have seldom to my knowledge appeared oftener or said more than has tended to my own relief and satisfaction; and, for ought I know, to the satisfaction of my brethren: blessed be the name of the Lord my God! I bow awfully before him, for his directing and preserving presence through many deep probations. He hath been with me in the heights and in the depths; has strung my bow and covered my head in the day of battle. May I serve him faithfully all the days of my stay here, until I go hence and be seen of men no more!

CHAP. III.

His Exercises continued.-Passes through some discouragements.-A word of encouragement to the exercised traveller.-A view of God's goodness, and anciently with Noah, Abraham, &c.— Trials about the War, Paper Currency, and Taxes. An address to Zion.-His sickness and other Trials.-Waits in Silence, &c.

AT

T this time I kept a school for Friends' children in the town of Providence; and having for several years past believed, at times, that it might be best to preserve some account of my pilgrimage through the wilderness of this world, I now began a more regular and constant journal of my exercises, and the Lord's gracious dealings with me, than I had heretofore preserved. I had before made a few minutes of some remark able occurrences, which, together with what was fresh in my memory, and so recorded there as not likely soon if ever to be obliterated, enabled me to write the foregoing account; and thus to bring it forward to this time.

On the first day of the week, the 1st of the First month, 1775, I fell and received a small wound, which was attended with considere soreness and pain; and next day having, n addition to this, a turn of the nervous or sick. head-ach, I was confined to the house: and hope

these light afflictions were not wholly useless to me, in regard to my best interest. O! that every trial may help to refine and prepare my soul for the city of my God.

Fourth day 11th, went to the Quarterly Meeting at Newport. It held two days, and was not very lively; yet a remnant were concerned to labour for the welfare of Sion.

1775. About these days I went through great discouragements and heavy exercises; but was mostly enabled to hope and believe it was all for my good, and would tend, if rightly endured, to my furtherance and enlargement in divine things; and, blessed be the name of, him who led and supported me through them, he did indeed arise for my help and consolation, even with healing in his wings; and that too, when I was almost ready to faint, and despair of his help; which made me hope I should trust in him, and rely upon him for the future; even in and through all trying dispensations. Indeed it is easy to hope and believe we shall trust in the Lord, when he shines upon us, and sheds abroad his love in our hearts, making us livingly to joy and rejoice in his presence, which was now graciously my happy experience; but, alas! when we have again and again to pass through the valley and shadow of death, it is not so easy to stand firm keep the faith, and trust in God.

My exercised soul has had large experience of these heights and depths; and knows that nothing but divine power can uphold us in times of deep probation, which we must pass through in our travels towards the land of rest. And O! that none may give out in such seasons, or faint in their minds. It is no new thing; it is the beaten path, and all the Lord's ransomed must become acquainted with it, and travel in it, not taking their flight in the winter: and as they thus stand firm, they will joyfully witness, in the Lord's time, the winter to be over, the summer to advance, the time of the singing of birds to be come, and the voice of the turtle to be heard in their land. Oh! the pangs and sufferings, through which some have waited, again and again, for the return of these blessed enjoyments, these moments of refreshment from the presence of the Lord! but none have ever rightly waited on the Lord in vain. Therefore trust in Him, O my soul, for ever, for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength.

Fourth day 25th, I attended our Monthly meeting at Smithfield upper meeting-house; found some dear friends sympathized with me in my deep probations; and was particularly comforted by a letter from a dearly beloved friend, written in a manner well suited to assist and encouragé my drooping mind.-May I ever walk worthy the remembrance, sympathy, and prayers, of my friends.