bush standing near the Devil's Den in Lower Sodom; thence in a circumambient direction, in a slope movement, down upon, to and including the bar of Pray's Tavern in Moosalamoo City; and thence by the most convenient route to the north line of Ripton Flats, near the bar of Fred Smith's Tavern, and the Baconian Mineral Spring which irrigates the pasture lands of the Honorable George Chipman; thence easterly in the said last-mentioned line to the place of beginning: containing all that part of creation, more or less, together with all the waters, vegetation, spruce-gum, fish, including eels and bull-pouts, animals, human and otherwise, and other appurtenances thereto belonging-the said bank being established upon the rotary principle; the headquarters being at Moosalamoo City, with power to adjourn to any part of the aforesaid territory as occasion may require.

OFFICERS.

"The officers of this eleemosynary corporation shall be, first: A governor, who shall be at least twenty-five years old, more or less, of as good moral character as the times will admit; a member in good standing of the only true political party and church; a good judge of fun, with at least four senses, viz. : An eye for a horse-an ear for music-a nose for gunpowder --and a taste for good liquor; a married man, owning at least one dog; attached to the principles of the Constitution of the United States and the Resolutions of '98. To guard against imposition, any candidate for the above office shall, before the election, justify as to qualification before the commissioners in the same manner as is provided for bail on mesne process.

"Second: There shall be at least fourteen deputy-governors, who shall be native Americans, addicted to such virtues as a majority of the commissioners shall approve. It shall be the duty of the senior deputy-governor to preside over the deliberations of the board, provided he can justify, at such times only as the exigencies of business may require, when the governor, in the opinion of two-thirds of the stockholders present, shall become so far beguiled,' 'disguised,' 'fatigued,' or 'discouraged' as to be inadequate to the discharge of his official functions.

"Third: There shall be as many directors as may be thought

best. Each director shall have been a Plattsburgh Volunteer, or a member in fair standing of some flood-wood company, or a side judge of some county court, or a hop-inspector, or a · secretary of some moral performance, or the proprietor of some patent right. He shall believe in a good time coming; the Bloomer costume; the Fourth of July; the infallibility of the Third House, and the 'Manifest Destiny.' He shall be a consistent advocate of Freedom of Speech, Rambouillet Sheep. Political Temperance, Woman's Rights, Bank Reform, Black Hawk and Gifford Morgan Horses, Morus Multicaulis, and the Universal Brotherhood of Man.

"Fourth: There shall be a cashier, who shall consist of at least one man of an amiable disposition and genial temperament, with a pocketful of rocks and a hatful of bricks. He shall write or play, as the case may be, a fair hand, be cognizant of the French language, accustomed to female society, and well disposed to the good order and happiness of the same.

Fifth: There shall be a committee of three of the most venerable, wise, sagacious, and prudent stockholders, most noted for wisdom and virtue, whose duty it shall be to taste and smell for the institution, and their sessions shall be secret.

REGULAE GENERALES.

"All the financial business of the Third House shall be transacted through this institution: the debentures of the members, the bounty on sap and putty, the expenses of the militia system, of the construction, painting, and repair of the wooden side judges, and of such excursions as may be made by the Third House, and the expenses of the Montpelier Hotel Company shall be paid at the counter in the circulating notes of the bank; and any other business thought proper, when met.

"All subscriptions to the capital stock shall be payable in trout, spruce-gum, lumber, game-birds, charcoal, powder and shot, fish-hooks, Monongahela whiskey, or other liquids to the acceptance of the tasters and smellers; and in drafts on the North American Dog Association, indorsed by Col. Brick, on the call of the commissioners and at the option of the subscribers; provided, that before signing each person shall deposit with the commissioners, for the use of the stockholders, one pint of such fluid as shall be approved by the tasters and smellers, and shall take the following oath or affirmation, viz. :

"You do solemnly swear or affirm, as the case may be, that you do subscribe for shares in the Moosalamoo Bank in good faith in the feasibility of the measure and in the hope of fat dividends; with the intent on your part to retain all you may get, and get what you can for your own use and benefit of the stockholders generally, and not under any agreement, understanding, or expectation that your subscription shall inure to the benefit of any third person or at his expense (save in the way of refreshments), and that you will improve the dividends to the advancement of sound national principles and the supremacy of the Third House.

"Long may you wave."

The foregoing charter will become known to future generations, if historians do justice to the Third House, not only as the most comprehensive, but as positively the last special bank charter presented to the Vermont legislature. As a measure of State economy it ought to have secured a large measure of popular gratitude to the members of the "Third House." But republics are notoriously ungrateful, and instead of approving our patriotic labors the members of the lower houses denounced us as a set of pestiferous scamps who lay awake nights to invent new schemes for ridiculing our superiors.

CHAPTER VI.

WOODEN SIDE JUDGES OF THE COUNTY COURTS.

THE "side judges" also had the attention of the Third House. This was a purely ornamental office bestowed upon two citizens in each county, who would look wise and say nothing. The change proposed would have been promptly adopted, but for the opposition of an ex-side judge from Grand Isle, the smallest county in the State, who insisted that these officers were sometimes consulted by the judges of the Supreme, who always presided in the County Courts. He said that when Judge Samuel S. Phelps was on the bench and one of the lawyers had argued a dry ejectment case to the jury for eight hours, Judge Phelps had actually consulted him-that although it was in a whisper, the judge distinctly asked, "Don't he make your back ache?" to which he, the side judge, answered that he'd "be darned if he didn't!" There were some who did not believe this statement, and those who did thought it should not defeat an improvement which, after the first outlay, would save the State expense, and had other advantages. Accordingly, early in the session a resolution was introduced and referred to the "Committee on Useless Information" of the following tenor:

"Resolved, That it is expedient that the present system of electing side County Court judges ought to be abolished, and that, in future, such judges should be manufactured of cast

iron, wood, or putty, and be set up in the several court-houses for immediate use.

The committee, after, as they said, giving to the subject their "careful and prayerful attention," reported

"that the institution of wooden side judges for the present perishable creatures of flesh and blood would eminently subserve the great butt-ends of public justice. They will render the court permanent. Their decisions will be uniform. They will be punctual. They could not be browbeaten by insolent language. They would be insensible to the sophistry and artful appeals of demagogues. They would be incorruptible. The measure will promote cheapness and economy. The committee had been much assisted by the learned author of the Astronomical Calculations for Walton's Register, a gentleman of transcendent abilities, who in a mathematical problem in the rule of three had demonstrated that the present side judges cost the people $75 per hundred, while better meat has been selling in the butchers' stalls for three cents per pound.

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"The committee had been in doubt about the kind of wood to be used. Some were in favor of spruce because it could be easily kept in check and possessed gum-ption and would stick to its opinions. But it was objected that spruce was ever-green and cross-grained. Some wanted bass-wood because it was easily impressed and exceedingly sappy, and the court would never be a heavy court. Others favored bird'seye maple, for it would keep an open eye upon mischievous lawyers. But maple had to be rejected because it was inclined to be rotten-hearted.

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'After conferring with the Committee on Hocus Pocus, all differences had been compromised, and the committee recommended the construction of wooden side judges as follows, viz. :

"The heads of ebony, with heavy, lowering brows, so that wicked lawyers would always be under the frown of the court, the highly polished faces thereof acting like a mirror casting reflections upon the bar for its sharp practices. The eyes to be of the most effulgent punk-wood obtainable; the bodies