deficient assets of the prisoner, he may lie, if it be possible, till he is burned to tinder, ere any parson of the covenant will put one hand to help him out of those dreary flames. But on the other hand, if a sufficient sum is left for masses to be said to the lady of Loretto, St. Dominic, St. Dennis, or any other eloquent saiut, all the parsons will apply as cheerfully as young dromedaries, and put their shoulders to the work like so many bulls in a yoke, till they have cleared him of his prison.

Fust. I pray you, Avaro, where does this same purgatory stand? I have often heard of it, but never could meet with it, in this or the other world.

Avar. You have sought for it in the wrong place, uncle; you should have ransacked the brains of the pope and his clergy; for there, and no where else, the chimera is to be found. It is only a scheme to get money, that I contrived for them; and hitherto it has answered our highest expectations.

Fast. This I do know, that nothing is more attractive of the attention of their reverences, than brilliant gold; for the sake of which, systems the most absurd are imposed upon mankind. Indeed, Avaro, I begin to think you a devil of good abilities, and an honour to the race of Belzebub.

Avar. I am highly obliged to you for your good opinion. But I shall relate a certain affair which wonderfully displays the genius of priestcraft, and gives the most just idea of the doctrine of purgatory.

Fast. I shall be glad to hear it another time, cousin; but for the present I must be gone, to forward my lady's robes; for the mantua-maker dare not touch them before my arrival at Paris. Exactly four hours hence, 1 shall give you the meeting.

Avar. I shall think of the appointment, uncle. Success to your enterprise.

DIALOGUE II.

FASTOSUS AND AVARO.

BEING acquainted with the appointment, I chose to wait for their coming, but was so alarmed at what I had heard and seen, that I lurked close in my retreat, not daring to attempt any discoveries. At the time appointed I perceived them walking up the valley; and as they drew near,

Fastosus said, Yes, Avaro, I assure you there was great joy in the court of Versailles on account of my arrival, and that both amongst the French and English ladies: the latter of whom are the humble servile imitators of the former; which tends so to chagrin some, and give pleasure to others of them, that by this means contentions run very high among the French ladies. One part complains of the English, as no more than the apes of the French: these are they who would monopolize all the finery to themselves therefore their censure of the English ladies is not to be regarded; the others boast of superiority, and are not a little proud of their dominion over the fair Anglicans; who, they suppose, dare not attempt to introduce so much as the pattern of an head-dress, till it hath had the approbation of the French. But to drop this for the present, Avaro, I shall be glad to hear the story you mentioned before we parted.

Avar. It was this, sir, There was a gentleman in Provence, a steady member of the holy Roman Catholic Church, who died lately, and as soon as dead his pious relations made his death known to their reverences the priests in order to procure their good offices, in behalf of their departed friend, whose soul, it was upon no ill ground feared, was hardly white enough for heaven, and would therefore be obliged to call at purgatory, for an effectual cleansing, ere he could proceed further upon his journey. The venerable priests no sooner heard of the gentleman's death, than they prudently began to consult the

good of the church, and what means appeared to them the most likely to feather their own nest; as this must needs be done, either by the life or death of the laity. This being their sole intent, it was unanimously agreed to refer themselves to my direction, and an interview in the apartments of the principal was requested. Being at that time in the neighbourhood, I immediately granted their petition, and presented myself among them, in the principal's chamber; a place very familiar to me. The reverend old father was no sooner aware of my arrival, than he arose from his seat, fell prostrate before me, to do me humble greeting, withal expressing the most grateful sense of my care and condescension, in coming so soon to their assistance.

Humble salutation past, the principal addrest me in the following learned manner, "Worshipful Prudence," for that is the name I am known by among them, "We have an affair of great importance to lay before you: and with the profoundest humility will we thank you for your advice."

Fast. Nay, Avaro, if you talk any thing about that same humility, I'll not stay a moment longer, for I hate the nature of it.

Avar. You need not be offended, sir, for the gentlemen in question have as little of that as your heart could wish for. It is not the nature, but the mere name of humility, which serves the purposes of priestcraft; and which he and his brethren so much admired. And you know, sir, that the name without the nature of humility is nothing but pride in disguise.

Fast. Well, I am glad they have no more of it, for that Humility is a fellow whom I abhor: but I thank my stars it is very seldom that I meet with him: however, when he and I do meet, we as naturally quarrel as the elephant and the rhino

ceros.

Avar. I assured them of my assistance, and the old parson went on with his story, "Ch! thou priest

governing spirit, said he, thou must know, that about eleven of the clock, last night, a neighbouring gentleman went out of this into the other world, leaving behind him an estate, upwards of ten thousand pounds per annum, devolving to an only son, and to this convent has left no more than fourscore crowns, for the salutary work of delivering his poor soul from the dreadful flames of purgatory. I do not know, indeed, but our great Lady, whom we serve, might be satisfied with half the sum; but we thy servants are not so easily pleased. It is our pious desire to procure as much of the young man's estate, as by any means we can, for our own private use; as none of us can tell what we may want before we die. Besides, we do not know but so large an estate devolving unencumbered upon him, may be the means of ruining the soul and body of the inexperienced youth. Now we, as the holy guardians of his salvation, think it necessary, for the good of his soul, to cut off as much as we can of the fuel of his lusts; well knowing how dangerous riches are to the laity. Thus, great patron, I have revealed the pious intent of our venerable brotherhood; and, lovely spirit, if thou canst by thy advice serve us in this matter, we entreat thee to do it; for our eyes are to thee, and our hearts are open to receive thy in

structions.

Fast. Who could have thought, Avaro, of any of your disciples being disposed to such exalted piety? However, it was piety of the true Romish stamp, greatly admired by the venerable clergy.

Avar. Well, said I, most reverend father, let not your pious mind be afflicted about the young gentleman's soul. Let you and your worthy brethren observe my instructions, and I shall undertake to put you in possession of the greatest part of his estate; which, as you justly observe, will greatly redound to the safety of his soul.

Be sure that you bury the old gentleman with as much seeming sorrow and devotion as might be ex

pected from a well-paid parson; yea, with as much feigned courtesy to the heir, as if the deceased had left you five hundred pounds. Then be sure to say mass for him to your Lady, St. Dominic, St. Francis, or to the saint of your convent, as soon as possible. That being done, let a skilful messenger from your reverences wait on the son and heir, to tell him that, alas! his poor father is got minch deeper into purgatory, than was expected, on account of some sins which he had concealed from his confessor; which sins, because they are hidden, will take a great deal of burning, unless expiated in time by frequent masses. Tell him that you are not certain, but you hope, about two hundred crowns, laid out in masses to some favourite, loquacious saint, may go near to procure his deliverance. This news will probably so surprise the youth that the messenger will receive the money, and his hearty prayers into the bargain; for, if he is a good churchman, it will not be easy to persuade him that your reverences only aim at picking his pocket.

Having received the money, you must take care not to go any more to the young gentleman, till the time that all the masses might have been said; then go to him again, and tell him that by fervent application you have at least got his father's soul within a few yards of the surface of the flames, that you cannot possibly restore him an inch farther till more masses are said for him: and that you think an hundred crowns worth more may, in all probability, clear him; this being received, take care not to visit him again too soon, but wait till another quantity of masses might have been said. At a proper time, go to him again, expatiate much upon the piety of your brethren; tell him that by their endeavours, his father was quite discharged from the court of Purgatory, and was just going to be turned out at the heaven-end of the town, when it happened most urluckily, that there came up the soul of a woman, whom he had debauched in his life-time: that this malicious woman had brought an action against him,