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part, I fhould reckon it my great Honour to be worthy his Dif-esteem, and should count his Cenfure Praise.

I am, S IR,

Your moft Humble Servant.

THE above Letter complains, with great Justice, against this Incorrigible Creature; but I do not infert any thing concerning him, in hopes what I fay will have any effect upon him, but to prevent the Impreffion what he fays may have upon others. I fhall end this Paper with a Letter I have juft now written to a Gentleman, whose Writings are often inferted in the Guardian without Deviation of one Tittle from what he fends.

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SIR,

June 23. 1 HAVE received the Favour of yours with the inclosed, which made up the Papers of the two laft Days. I cannot but look upon my self with great Con་ tempt and Mortification, when I reflect that I have thrown away more Hours than you have lived, though you fo much excel me in every thing for which I would live. Till I knew you, I thought it the Privilege of Angels only to be very Knowing and very Innocent. In the Warmth of Youth to be capable of fuch abstracted and virtuous Reflexions, (with à fuitable Life) as those with which you entertain your felf, is the utmost of Human Perfection and Felicity. The greatest Honour I can conceive done to another, is when an Elder does Reverence to a Younger, though that Younger is not ⚫ distinguished above him b Fortune. Your Contempt

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of Pleafures. Riches and Honour, will Crown you with • them all, and I wish you them not for your own fake, • but for the Reafon which only would make them eligible by your felf, the Good of others.

I am, Dearest Youth,

Your Friend and Admirer,

NESTOR IRONSIDE.

Thursday,

N° 91.

I

Thursday, June 25.

Ineft fua gratia Parvis.

Virg.

Tis the great Rule of Behaviour to follow Nature; the Author of the following Letter is fo much convinced of this Truth, that he turns what would render a Man of little Soul exceptious, humourfom, and particular in all his Actions, to a Subject of Rallery and Mirth. He is, you must know, but half as tall as an ordinary Man, but is contented to be ftill at his Friend's Elbow, and has fet up a Club, by which he hopes to bring those of his own Size into a little Reputation.

SIR,

TO NESTOR IRONSIDE, Efq;

I Remember a Saying of yours concerning Perfons in

low Circumftances of Stature, that their Littleness would hardly be taken notice of, if they did not manifeft a Confcioufnefs of it themselves in all their Behaviour. Indeed, the Obfervation that no Man is Ridi⚫culous for being what he is, but only in the Affectation of being fomething more, is equally true in regard to the Mind and the Body.

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I question not but it will be pleafing to you to hear, hat a Set of us have form'd a Society, who are Sworn • to Dare to be Short, and boldly bear out the Dignity of • Littleness under the Nofes of thofe Enormous Engrof•fers of Manhood, thofe Hyperbolical Monsters of the Species, the tall Fellows that overlook us.

The Day of our Inftitution was the Tenth of De⚫cember, being the Shortest of the Year, on which we are to hold an Annual Feast over a Difh of Shrimps.

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THE Place we have chofen for this Meeting is in the • Little Piazza, not without an Eye to the Neighbourhood of Mr Porvel's Opera, for the Performers of ⚫ which we have, as becomes us, a Brotherly Affection.

SAT

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AT our first Refort hither an old Woman brought her Son to the Club Room, defiring he might be Educated in this School, because the law here were finer Boys than ordinary. However, this Accident no way difcouraged our Designs. We began with fending Invi"tations to thofe of a Stature not exceeding five Foot, to repair to our Affembly; but the greater part returned Excufes, or pretended they were not qualified.

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ONE faid he was indeed but five Foot at present, but represented that he should foon exceed that Propor⚫tion, his Periwig-maker and Shoe-maker having lately promised him three Inches more betwixt them.

ANOTHER alledged he was fo unfortunate as to have one Leg fhorter than the other, and whoever had ⚫ determined his Stature to five Foot, had taken him at a Difadvantage; for when he was mounted on the other Leg he was at least five Foot two Inches and a half.

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THERE were fome who queftioned the exactness of our Measures; and others, inftead of complying, returned us Informations of People yet fhorter than themfelves. In a word, almoft every one recommended ⚫ fome Neighbour or Acquaintance, whom he was willing we fhould look upon to be less than he. We were not a little ashamed that thofe, who are past the Years of Growth, and whofe Beards pronounce them Men, fhould be guilty of as many unfair Tricks, in this Point, as the moit afpiring Children when they are measured.

WE therefore proceeded to fit up the Club-Room, and provide Conveniences for our Accommodation. In the firft Place we caus'd a total Removal of all the • Chairs, Stools, and Tables, which had ferv'd the grofs of Mankind for many Years. The Difadvantages we had undergone, while we made ufe of thefe, were unfpeak• able. The Prefident's whole Body was funk in the • Elbow-Chair, and when his Arms were fpread over it, ⚫he appeared (to the great leffening of his Dignity) like < a Child in a Go-cart: It was alfo fo wide in the Seat, as to give a Wag occafion of faying, that notwithstanding the • Perfident fat in it, there was a Sede Vacante. The Ta ⚫ble was fo high that one, who came by chance to the Door, feeing our Chins juft above the Pewter Dishes, <took us for a Circle of Men that fat ready to be fhaved,

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and fent in half a dozen Barbers. Another time one of the Club fpoke contumelioufly of the Prefident, imagining he had been abfent, when he was only eclipfed by a Flask of Florence which ftood on the Table in a Parallel Line before his Face. We therefore new-fur⚫nifhed the Room in all Refpects proportionably to us, and had the Door made lower, fo as to admit no Man ⚫ of above five Foot high, without brufhing his Foretop,. ⚫ which whoever does is utterly unqualified to fit among · us.

Some of the Statutes of the Club are as follow::

IF it be proved upon any Member, tho' never fo duly qualified, that he trives as much as poffible to get above his Size, by Stretching, Cocking, or the like or that he hath ftood on Tiptoe in a Croud, with defign to be taken for as tall a Man as the reft; or hath priviTy conveyed any large Book, Cricket, or other Device. under him, to exalt him on his Seat: Every fuch. Of⚫ fender shall be sentenced to walk in Pumps for a whole • Month.

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II. IF any Member shall take Advantage from the Fulnefs or Length of his Wig, or any part of his Dress, or the immoderate Extent of his Hat, or otherwise, to • feem larger or higher than he is; it is ordered, he shall wear Red Heels to his Shoes, and a Red Feather in his • Hat, which may apparently mark and fet Bounds to the Extremities of his fmall Dimenfion, that all People may readily find him out between his Hat and his Shoes.

III. IF any Member fhall purchase a Horfe for his own Riding above fourteen Hands and a half in height,. that Horfe fhall forthwith be Sold, a Scotch Galloway bought in its ftead for him, and the Overplus of the • Money fhall treat the Club.

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IV. IF any Member, in direct Contradiction to the Fundamental Laws of the Society, fhall wear the Heels ⚫ of his Shoes exceeding one Inch and half, it fhall be interpreted as an open Renunciation of Littlenefs, and the Criminal fhall inftantly be expelled. Note, The • Form to be used in expelling a Member shall be in thele: Words; Go from among us, and be tall if you can!

IT

'IT is the unanimous Opinion of our whole Society, ⚫ that fince the Race of Mankind is granted to have de⚫creased in Stature from the beginning to this prefent, it

is the Intent of Nature it felf, that Men fhould be little ⚫ and we believe that all Human Kind fhall at laft grow down to Perfection, that is to fay, be reduced to our own 6. Measure.

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am very Litterally,
Your bumble Servants

BOB. SHORT.

N° 92.

Friday, June 26.

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Homunculi quanti funt, cum recegito!

SIR,

T

To NESTOR IRONSIDE, Efq;

Plautus.

HE Club rifing early this Evening I have time to finifh my Account of it. You are already acquainted with the Nature and Defign of our Inftitution; the Characters of the Members, and the Topicks of our Converfation, are what remain for the Subject of this Epistle.

THE most eminent Perfons of our Affembly are a little Poet, a little Lover, a little Politician, and a little Hero. The first of thefe, Dick Diftick by Name, we • have elected Prefident, not only as he is the fhorteft of us all, but becaufe he has entertained fo juft a Senfe of the Stature, as to go generally in Black that he may ap6 pear yet lefs. Nay, to that Perfection is he arrived, that he stoops as he walks. The Figure of the Man is odd enough; he is a lively little Creature, with long Arms and Legs: A Spider is no ill Emblem of him. He has been taken at a Distance for a fmall Windmill. But indeed what principally moved us in his Favour was his Talent in Poetry, for he hath promised to undertake a long Work in hort Verje to celebrate the Heroes of our

• Size.

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