"Things unattempted yet, in profe or rhyme," A fhilling, breeches, and chimeras dire.
HAPPY the man, who, void of cares and strife,
In filken or in leathern purfe retains
A Splendid Shilling: he nor hears with pain New oyfters cry'd, nor fighs for chearful ale; But with his friends, when nightly mists arise, To Juniper's Magpyę, or Town-Hall * repairs : Where, mindful of the nymph, whose wanton eye Transfix'd his foul, and kindled amorous flames, Cloe, or Phillis, he each circling glass
Wifheth her health, and joy, and equal love. Meanwhile, he fmokes, and laughs at merry tale, Or pun ambiguous, or conundrum quaint. But I, whom griping penury furrounds, And hunger, fure attendant upon want, With scanty offals, and small acid tiff (Wretched repaft!) ny meagre corpse sustain: Then folitary walk, or doze at home In garret vile, and with a warming puff
*Two noted alehoufes in Oxford, 1700.
Regale chill'd fingers; or from tube as black As winter-chimney, or well-polish'd jet, Exhale mundungus, ill-perfuming fcent: Not blacker tube, nor of a fhorter fize, Smokes Cambro- Briton (vers'd in pedigree, Sprung from Cadwalador and Arthur, kings Full famous in romantic tale) when he O'er many a craggy hill and barren cliff, Upon a cargo of fam'd Ceftrian cheese, High over-fhadowing rides, with a defign To vend his wares, or at th' Arvonian mart, Or Maridunum, or the ancient town Yclip'd Brechinia, or where Vaga's ftream Encircles Ariconium, fruitful foil! Whence flow nectareous wines, that well may With Maffic, Setin, or renown'd Falern.
Thus while my joyless minutes tedious flow, With looks demure, and filent pace, a Dun, Horrible monfter! hated by gods and men, To my acrial citadel afcends,
With vocal heel thrice thundering at my gate, With hideous accent thrice he calls; I know The voice ill-boding, and the folemn found. What should I do? or whither turn? Amaz'd, Confounded, to the dark recefs I fly
Of wood-hole; ftrait my bristling hairs erect Through fudden fear; a chilly fweat bedews My fhuddering limbs, and (wonderful to tell!) My tongue forgets her faculty of speech; So horrible he feems! His faded brow
Entrench'd with many a frown, and conic beard, And spreading band, admir'd by modern saints, Difaftrous acts forebode; in his right hand Long ferolls of paper folemnly he waves, With characters and figures dire inscrib'd, Grievous to mortal eyes; (ye gods, avert
Such plagues from righteous men !) Behind him stalks Another monster, not unlike himself,
Sullen of afpect, by the vulgar call'd
A Catchpole, whose polluted hands the gods With force incredible, and magic charms, First have endued: if he his ample palm Should haply on ill-fated fhoulder lay Of debtor, ftrait his body, to the touch Obfequious (as whilom knights were wont) To fome inchanted caftle is convey'd,
Where gates impregnable, and coercive chains, In durance ftri&t detain him, till, in form Of money, Pallas fets the captive free. Beware, ye debtors! when ye walk, beware, Be circumfpect; oft with infidious ken The caitiff eyes your steps aloof, and oft Lies perdue in a nook or gloomy cave, Prompt to inchant fome inadvertent wretch With his unhallow'd touch. So (poets fing) Grimalkin, to domeftic vermin fworn An everlasting foe, with watchful eye Lies nightly brooding o'er a chinky gap, Protending her fell claws, to thoughtless mice Sure ruin. So her difembowel'd web
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