duct on this and future occasions. Refinement in manners is the only quality which can distinguish you from the lower class of people: as sincerity, benevolence, and many other virtues, are not confined to any particular station of life: though politeness, or what is usually called good breeding, is never possessed but by those whose understandings are cultivated, and their manners formed by the society of polite, well-bred persons. Lady L. Will the keeping company with polite people make me the same ? Ment. Unless it is your Ladyship's own fault, by obstinately persisting in your errors; or by being inattentive, and neglecting to make observations on the manners you ought to imitate. This kind of conduct, undoubtedly, would prevent your making any improvement; and would be as absurd as if you were to shut your eyes at an exhibition of fine pictures; which would prevent your drawing any copy from the originals. Lady M. Pray instruct us how to behave the whole day. I should be very sorry if we spoke or acted improperly to Lady Jane or Lady Ann, when they favour us with their company. Ment. Ment. It is scarcely possible to form a settled plan for behaviour, as there are so many circumstances on which the propriety of it depends; so that it can only be regulated by good sense and discretion, which will ever dictate what is proper to be performed on every occasion. But, notwithstanding I cannot reduce politeness to a regular system, I will endeavour to point out a few of its essential qualities. Lady L. How shall we receive our visitors, my good Mentoria? Ment. You should endeavour to express how happy you are to see them; that you have thought it long since you had last that pleasure. You should then inquire after their own health, and that of every branch of their family and if any have been ill, congratulate them on their recovery. Respecting amusements, you should never consult your own inclinations, but always let those of your guests take the lead; and never raise trifling objections to any they propose. As their entertainment is the chief object, you should readily comply with whatever seems conducive to it. It would make you appear petulant, as well as unpolite, if, when they expressed a desire to play at questions and commands, you seemed discontented, and declared a preference to play at blindman's buff. It is also incumbent on you to check any little disputes between your younger sisters and brothers; and, so far from taking the least part with them, you should wholly suppress them. This conduct. will make you appear in an amiable light, and. give Lady Jane and Lady Ann a favourable impression of you. Lady M. I hope, by the help of your kind: instructions, we shall behave with propriety, particularly at dinner-time. your Ment. Do not suffer attention to your guests so wholly to take up your thoughts, as to make you forgetful of the superior obligations you owe to your Creator: return him thanks for the blessings he has already granted, and implore his future mercies, before you partake of the repast his providence has afforded you. When this duty is performed, help your friends to those parts you think best, and which, in general, seem in the highest estimation. Let the attention you pay them prevent their requesting to be helped to any particular dish. If they express their approbation, and seem to give a preference to any part of the entertainment, you should request them to testify how much they like it, by eating some more more of it. But if they decline your entreaties, do not repeat them; as persons who are accustomed to good company, seem as much at their ease when they dine out, as when they are at home; and take it for granted they are as welcome in their friend's house as their friend would be in theirs. I would advise you, at your own, or any other table, never to choose those things that are rarities, or of which there seems but a small quantity: though I would wish this denial not to be visible, lest it occasion compliments, and give pain to those who have chosen the things you refused. There is another circumstance I shall mention, which is, never to be warm in the praise of your own victuals, or even mention what they cost. Also, when the dinner disappears, never make it the subject of your conversation: the excellence of a pie or pudding should never be extolled but when it is on your plate; as, at the most, they deserve but few recommendations. Let me entreat you to close your meal with thanksgiving and praise to the great Cause from whence it proeeeded; which will inspire your mind with ease and cheerfulness. Lady L. But what shall we talk of when dinner is over? Ment. Ment. That does not wholly depend on your Ladyship, as conversation consists of the sentiments of different persons mutually expressed without reserve. Some have the gift of enlivening this pleasing intercourse, by the brilliancy of their wit; others add a grace to it, by the depth of their judgment; whilst there are many who possess no extraordinary qualifications, yet are, nevertheless, pleasing companions, because they are conversant in the affairs of the world, or pay attention to others. Lady M. Ought I, my dear Mentoria, to inquire what work they are about, what books they have read, or where they have been? Ment. Yes, my dear; though the bare reply to these questions ought not to satisfy your Ladyship. When you are informed of their different pursuits, inquire how far they are advanced in their embroidery; and whether they think it possible you could execute a piece of the same nature. Respecting books, you should express a desire to know their opinion of those they have read, as well as yourself, to find if their sentiments correspond with your own; and also of new publications and authors to which you are a stranger; that by their account you may form an idea whether they would improve or entertain you. In the recital |