(For aught that ever I could read)

To whine, put finger i' th' eye, and sob,
Because h' had ne'er another tub.
The Ancients make two sev'ral kinds
Of prowess in heroic minds,

The active and the passive val'ant,
Both which are pari libra gallant;
For both to give blows, and to carry,
In fights are equi-necessary:
But in defeats the passive stout

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Are always found to stand it out

Most desp'rately, and to outdo
The active 'gainst a conqu'ring foe.

Though we with blacks and blues are suggil'd,
Or, as the vulgar say, are cudgel'd,

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He that is valiant and dares fight,

Though drubb'd, can lose no honour by 't.

Honour's a lease for lives to come,

And cannot be extended from

The legal tenant: 'tis a chattel
Not to be forfeited in battle.
If he that in the field is slain
Be in the bed of honour lain,
He that is beaten may be sed
To lie in Honour's truckle-bed.
For as we see th' eclipsed sun
By mortals is more gaz'd upon

Than when, adorn'd with all his light,
He shines in serene sky most bright;

So valour in a low estate

Is most admir'd and wonder'd at.

Quoth Ralph, How great I do not know

We may by being beaten grow;

But none that see how here we sit

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Will judge us overgrown with wit.
As Gifted Brethren, preaching by
A carnal hour-glass, do imply
Illumination can convey
Into them what they have to say,
But not how much; so well enough
Know you to charge, but not draw off :
For who, without a cap and bawble,
Having subdued a Bear and rabble,
And might with honour have come off,
Would put it to a second proof?
A politic exploit, right fit
For Presbyterian zeal and wit.

Quoth Hudibras, That cuckoo's tone,
Ralpho, thou always harp'st upon :
When thou at any thing would'st rail,
Thou mak'st Presbytery thy scale

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1061 1062 In those days there was always an hour-glass stood by the pulpit, in a frame of iron made on purpose for it, and fastened to the board on which the cushion lay, that it might be visible to the whole congregation; who, if the sermon did not hold till the glass was out (which was turned up as soon as the text was taken), would say that the preacher was lazy; and, if he held out much longer, would yawn and stretch, and by those signs signify to the preacher that they began to be weary of his discourse, and wanted to be dismissed. These hour-glasses remained in some churches till within these forty-years. If they liked his discourse, they would sometimes ask him for another glass.' ED.

1072 Ralpho looked upon their ill plight to be owing to his master's bad conduct; and, to vent his resentment, he satirises him in the most affecting part of his character, his religion. This by degrees brings on the old arguments about Synods. The Poet, who thought he had not sufficiently lashed classical assemblies, very judiciously completes it, now there is full leisure for it.

To take the height on't, and explain
To what degree it is profane.

Whats'ever will not with (thy what-d'-ye-call)

Thy Light jump right, thou call'st Synodical; 1080
As if Presbyt'ry were a standard

To size whats'ever's to be slander'd.
Dost not remember how this day

Thou to my beard wast bold to say

That thou could'st prove Bear-baiting, equal 1085
With Synods, orthodox and legal?
Do, if thou can'st; for I deny't,

And dare thee to't with all thy light.
Quoth Ralpho, Truly that is no
Hard matter for a man to do
That has but any guts in's brains,
And could believe it worth his pains:
But since you dare and urge me to it,
You'll find I've light enough to do it.
Synods are mystical Bear-gardens,
Where Elders, Deputies, Church-wardens,
And other Members of the Court,
Manage the Babylonish sport;

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.

For Prolocutor, Scribe, and Bear-ward,

Do differ only in a mere word.

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Both are but sev'ral synagogues

Of carnal men, and Bears and Dogs:
Both antichristian assemblies,

To mischief bent as far's in them lies:

Both stave and tail, with fierce contests,

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The one with men, the other beasts.

The diff'rence is, the one fights with
The tongue, the other with the teeth;
And that they bait but Bears in this,
In th' other Souls and Consciences :

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Where Saints themselves are brought to stake
For Gospel-light and Conscience' sake;

Expos'd to Scribes and Presbyters,
Instead of Mastive Dogs and Curs;

Than whom they've less humanity,
For these at souls of men will fly.
This to the prophet did appear,
Who in a vision saw a Bear,
Prefiguring the beastly rage

Of Church-rule in this latter age;
As is demonstrated at full

By him that baited the Pope's Bull.
Bears natʼrally are beasts of prey,
That live by rapine; so do they.
What are their Orders, Constitutions,
Church-censures, Curses, Absolutions,
But sev'ral mystic chains. they make,
To tie poor Christians to the stake?
And then set Heathen officers,
Instead of Dogs, about their ears.
For to prohibit and dispense,
To find out, or to make offence;
Of hell and heaven to dispose,
To play with souls at fast and loose;
To set what characters they please,
And mulcts on sin or godliness;
Reduce the Church to Gospel-order,
By rapine, sacrilege, and murder;
To make Presbytery supreme,

And Kings themselves submit to them;
And force all people, though against
Their consciences, to turn Saints;
Must prove a pretty thriving trade,
When Saints monopolists are made:

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When pious frauds and holy shifts
Are Dispensations and Gifts,
There godliness becomes mere ware,
And ev'ry Synod but a fair.
Synods are whelps o' th' Inquisition,
A mongrel breed of like pernicion,
And, growing up, became the sires
Of Scribes, Commissioners, and Triers:
Whose bus'ness is, by cunning sleight,
To cast a figure for men's light;
To find, in lines of beard and face,
The physiognomy of Grace;
And by the sound and twang of nose,
If all be sound within disclose,
Free from a crack or flaw of sinning,
As men try pipkins by the ringing;
By black caps underlaid with white
Give certain guess at inward light,

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1156 These Triers pretended to great skill in this respect; and, if they disliked the beard or face of a man, they would, for that reason alone, refuse to admit him, when presented to a living, unless he had some powerful friend to support him. "The questions that these men put to the persons to be examined were not abilities and learning, but grace in their hearts, and that with so bold and saucy an inquisition, that some men's spirits trembled at the interrogatories; they phrasing it so, as if (as was said at the Council of Trent) they had the Holy Ghost in a cloke-bag."

Their questions generally were these, or such like: When were you converted? Where did you begin to feel the motions of the Spirit? In what year? in what month? in what day? about what hour of the day had you the secret call, or motion of the Spirit, to undertake and labour in the ministry? What work of grace has God wrought upon your soul? And a great many other questions about regeneration, predestination, and the like.