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DUE TO BRIDEGROOMS.

courtesy, the confiding cordiality he is expected and trusted to deserve. His own value should be fully and generously allowed, and a deference to his wishes and opinions should be shown, such as will chime with the probable state of things in a year after his marriage. Whatever be the kind of man a daughter is likely to marry, he would be tenfold more bound to be a good husband and a kind relative, by such treatment, than by the suspicious coldness and cautious disparagement we have described.

We should like, also, to see the American wedding etiquette contain some token of compliment to the bridegroom. The newly come, in religious orders, in the world's honors and in hospitality, have some ceremony of welcome. If it were only the formal enclosure of his card with that of his parents-in-law, in the invita-. tions to the wedding, it would be at least, a recognition. But this might be done and something more. At present, he stands with his bride, after the ceremony, and the groomsmen bring up the visitors, who bow to both together, looking only at the bride, of course, and retire. But the bridegroom is a just admitted. member of the family, and a guest under the roof; and would it not be like a respect and a welcome, if he should stand apart after the marriage, and let the presentations, to him, be made separately, and by the father or male relatives of the bride?

SOCIETY NEWS.

A SIGNIFICANT move is making, in New York society, just now. Its demonstrations are such as would not take place in an older country. Like youthful blood, which throws out, in a "rash," or a "scarlatina," a disease which, in older blood, would strike to the heart, American society no sooner becomes conscious of an evil than it sets about the removal of it.

Before mentioning the signs of the new movement, let us first define the uneasiness which it is struggling to correct.

The phrase "it don't pay," is the metal of a great deal too much that is American. From the Republic's broadly-based temple of Refinement amid Freedom, this pitiless knife slices off dome and steeple. For what we have, that is ornamental, indeed, we are indebted to a devil whose tail we would fain conceal, viz. the love of ostentation-but, without this, what is ` there, except business, that would be quoted "to pay ?"

That the society of the ladies is a stock that is "down in the market"—that it "don't pay," and that those who can invest in any thing else are shy of it—is mortifyingly true; but there is a partial apology for the dulness of the American enterprise on this point, which we hasten to explain.

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TWO EUROPEAN-ISMS.

In all countries but this, there are two kinds of guano by which the masculine plants, in the garden of society, are mostly forced into flower. These two stimulants to the bright blossoms of European politeness and devotion-two which are not yet imported or used in American cultivation-are intrigue and "gallantry." On the strong juices of vice or vanity, concealed under the showy efflorescence of "men about town," these manures act very powerfully. Of the former, (intrigue,) we need not speak, as the flower which it produces is so diligently recognised and weeded out from American society, that there is no fear of it except where it can grow wild; but of the latter, (gallantry,) let us say a word, by way of botanical analysis.

Married men, and all men who still believe in their powers of pleasing, go eagerly "into society," in Europe. It is not for the mere sake of being seen there, for social rank is not lost, (in old and slow countries), by being out of sight. It is not to hear music or to see dancing. It is not to exchange mere civilities with acquaintance, to hear the scandal, and eat an untimely supper. If these were the only inducements, they would doubtless vote, with the Americans, that "it don't pay." But, (personal motives of ambition or interest aside) there is one general motive which brings those eagerly into society, whose "views are virtuous." You may call it vanity, if you please, but it is so refined upon, and so tinctured with the neighbourhood of things more sacred, that we are very much inclined to propose it for an exotic importation.

A "middle-aged man," for instance, enters an evening party. The quarantine speech to the lady of the house well over, he addresses himself to the appropriation of what pleasure he expected to find in the assemblage present. With a polite bow,

FRIENDSHIPS OF SENTIMENT.

313

here and there, as he winds his way through the crowd, he arrives presently at the side of a lady who gives him a cordial shake of the hand, and makes room for him, if possible, to sit down beside She is one of a certain number, circulating in the same society, with whom he is on terms of confidence and friendship. Her health, since he saw her, is a matter of sincere and kind enquiry; her looks and toilette for the evening, and her incidents of life, more or less important, for the last few days, are respectfully and tenderly discussed. Comments on what is around, and news of the day, mix in with these beginnings of conversation. But there is a fund of reserved interest beyond these trifles. The lady is one whom he binds to him by delicate attentions perpetually remembered. Presents in the holidays, and civilities in public places, are the more formal manifestations; and, by a constant watchfulness over her position and associations, he finds many opportunities of serving her, and of making her life seem guarded and ministered to. In return for this, she is his friend. She takes an interest in his ambition, his success in business, his annoyances, his likes and dislikes, his health and his designs for the future. She loves his wife and his children-counsels him as to critical questions of conduct-talks, or lets him talk, as either has more to say-requests services of him, or confides secrets to him-does her best, in short, to minister to his valuation of himself, as he ministers to hers. They chat for an hour, and he passes on—each to say kind things of the other to those whom they next meet, each to correct whatever is afloat to the other's prejudice, each to thank the other for that much of pleasure at the party, and to hope for another such meeting in society, soon again. The attentions which such a friend pays to such a lady are called, in France, galanteries, and the impulse which prompts

314

DANCES DISCOUNTENANCED.

them you may call vanity, if you will; but the selfish and soulnarrowing mope, at home, of a man who declares that these things don't pay," " is a less desirable alternative. We are inclined to think-even apart from the interest of men in the matter that every woman in the world, who is not frightful within and without, would prefer the galanteries, and think society very much improved by them.

Hitherto, in America, we need not say, the manifestations of such a friendship as we have described, would have been flagrant ground for scandal and suspicion. And, what with this female readiness to prejudge conduct, and the male readiness to find things that "pay better"-between these two causes, we say— society in New York has become almost exclusively a method of getting together women and boys-the men being no part or parcel of what is promiscuously designated as "the gay world" by those who preach at it from a distance.

As we said in the beginning, there are signs that this evil is felt, and there are movements making to remedy it. A feeling is gaining ground that men should be included in polite society. The morning receptions, particularly, to which not even boys go -unpivoted halves of scissors exclusively present-have been voted unsatisfying. It is one of the movements we speak of, that two or three of the leading ladies of fashion have resolved to receive, early in the evening, when the men, who are to be urged to come, are more likely to think “it will pay."

Another significant movement, tending to the same end, is the recent hostile blow at the boy-ocracy, struck by the suppression of the "polka and schottish." It is voted not proper for ladies to dance these dances with any thing that is old enough to do any