cannot absorb men's attention. When it is really great, it has not been brought out by the hope of reward any more than the kindest services by the hope of gratitude. In neither case is it becoming or rational to be clamorous about payment. There is one thing that people hardly ever remember, or, indeed, have imagination enough to conceive; namely, the effect of each man being shut up in his individuality. Take a long course of sayings and doings in which many persons have been engaged. Each one of them is in his own mind the center of the web, though, perhaps, he is at the edge of it. We know that in our observations of the things of sense, any difference in the points from which the observation is taken gives a different view of the same thing. Moreover, in the world of sense, the objects and the points of view are each indifferent to the rest; but in life the points of view are centers of action that have had something to do with the making of the things looked at. If we could calculate the moral parallax arising from these causes, we should see, by the mere aid of the intellect, how unjust we often are in our complaints of ingratitude, inconstancy, and neglect. But without these nice calculations, such errors of view may be corrected at once by humility, a more sure method than the most enlightened appreciation of the cause of error. Humility is the true cure for many a needless heartache. It must not be supposed that in thus opposing unreasonable views of social affections, anything is done to dissever such affections. The Duke of Wellington, writing to a man in a dubious position of authority, says, "The less you claim, the more you will have." This is remarkably true of the affections; and there is scarcely anything that would make men happier than teaching them to watch against unreasonableness in their claims of regard and affection; and which at the same time would be more likely to insure their getting what may be their due. Ellesmere [clapping his hands] - An essay after my heart; worth tons of soft trash. In general, you are amplifying duties, telling everybody that they are to be so good to every other body. Now it is as well to let every other body know that he is not to expect all he may fancy from everybody. A man complains that his prosperous friends neglect him; infinitely overrating, in all probability, his claims, and his friends' power of doing anything for him. Well, then, you may think me very hard, but I say that the most absurd claims are often put forth on the ground of relationship. I do not deny that there is something in blood, but it must not be made too much of. Near relations have great opportunities of attaching each other; if they fail to use these, I do not think it is well to let them imagine that mere relationship is to be the talisman of affection. Dunsford - I do not see exactly how to answer all that you or Milverton have said; but I am not prepared, as official people say, to agree with you. I especially disagree with what Milverton has said about love. He leaves much too little power to the will. Milverton-I dare say I may have done so. These are very deep matters, and any one view about them does not exhaust them. I remember C once saying to me that a man never utters anything without error. He may even think of it rightly; but he cannot bring it out rightly. It turns a little false, as it were, when it quits the brain and comes into life. Ellesmere I thought you would soon go over to the soft side. Here, Rollo; there's a good dog. You do not form unreasonable expectations, do you? A very little petting puts you into an ecstasy, and you are much wiser than many a biped who is full of his claims for gratitude, and friendship, and love, and who is always longing for well-merited rewards to fall into his mouth. Down, dog! Milverton-Poor animal! it little knows that all this sudden notice is only by way of ridiculing us. Why I did not maintain my ground stoutly against Dunsford is that I am always afraid of pushing moral conclusions too far. Since we have been talking, I think I see more clearly than I did before what I mean to convey by the essay-namely, that men fall into unreasonable views respecting the affections from imagining that the general laws of the mind are suspended for the sake of the affections. Dunsford That seems safer ground. Milverton-Now to illustrate what I mean by a very similar instance. The mind is avid of new impressions. It "travels over," or thinks it travels over, another mind; and, though it may conceal its wish for "fresh fields and pastures new," it does so wish. However harsh, therefore, and unromantic it may seem, the best plan is to humor Nature, and not to exhaust by overfrequent presence the affection of those whom we would love, or whom we would have to love us. I would not say, after the manner of Rochefoucauld, that the less we see of people the more we like them; but there are certain limits of sociality; and prudent reserve and absence may find a place in the management of the tenderest relations. Dunsford - Yes, all this is true enough; I do not see anything hard in this. But then there is the other side. Custom is a great aid to affection. Milverton-Yes. All I say is, do not fancy that the general laws are suspended for the sake of any one affection. out. Dunsford-Still, this does not go to the question whether there is not something more of will in affection than you make You would speak of inducements and counter inducements, aids and hindrances; but I cannot but think you are limiting the power of will, and therefore limiting duty. Such views tend to make people easily discontented with each other, and prevent their making efforts to get over offenses, and to find out what is lovable in those about them. Ellesmere Here we are in the deep places again. I see you are pondering, Milverton. It is a question, as a minister would say when Parliament perplexes him, that we must go to the country upon; each man's heart will, perhaps, tell him best about it. For my own part, I think that the continuance of affection, as the rise of it, depends more on the taste being satisfied, or at least not disgusted, than upon any other single thing. Our hearts may be touched at our being loved by people essentially distasteful to us, whose modes of talking and acting are a continual offense to us; but whether we can love them in return is a question. Milverton - Yes, we can, I think. I begin to see that it is a question of degree. The word love includes many shades of meaning. When it includes admiration, of course we cannot be said to love those in whom we see nothing to admire. But this seldom happens in the mixed characters of real life. The upshot of it all seems to me to be that, as Guizot says of civilization, every impulse has room; so in the affections, every inducement and counter inducement has its influence; and the result is not a simple one, which can be spoken of as if it were alike on all occasions and with all men. Dunsford-I am still unanswered, I think, Milverton. What you say is still wholly built upon inducements, and does not touch the power of will. Milverton - No; it does not. Ellesmere We must leave that alone. Infinite piles of books have not as yet lifted us up to a clear view of that matter. Dunsford-Well, then, we must leave it as a vexed question; but let it be seen that there is such a question. Now, as to another thing you speak, Milverton, of men's not making allowance enough for the unpleasant weight of obligation. I think that weight seems to have increased in modern times. Essex could give Bacon a small estate, and Bacon could take it comfortably, I have no doubt. That is a much more wholesome state of things among friends than the present. Milverton-Yes, undoubtedly. An extreme notion about independence has made men much less generous in receiving. Dunsford-It is a falling off, then. There was another comment I had to make. I think, when you speak about the exorbitant demands of neglected merit, you should say more upon the neglect of the just demands of merit. Milverton-I would have the Government and the public in general try by all means to understand and reward merit, especially in those matters wherein excellence cannot, otherwise, meet with large present reward. But, to say the truth, I would have this done, not with the view of fostering genius so much as of fulfilling duty; I would say to a minister — it is becoming in you-it is well for the nation, to reward, as far as you can, and dignify men of genius. Whether you will do them any good, or bring forth more of them, I do not know. Ellesmere-Men of great genius are often such a sensitive race, so apt to be miserable in many other than pecuniary ways and want of public estimation, that I am not sure that distress and neglect do not take their minds off worse discomforts. It is a kind of grievance, too, that they like to have. Dunsford - Really, Ellesmere, that is a most unfeeling speech. Milverton-At any rate, it is right for us to honor and serve a great man. It is our nature to do so, if we are worth anything. We may put aside the question whether our honor will do him more good than our neglect. That is a question for him to look to. The world has not yet so largely honored deserving men in their own time that we can exactly pronounce what effect it would have upon them. Ellesmere Come, Rollo, let us leave these men of sentiment. Oh, you will not go, as your master does not move. Look how he wags his tail, and almost says, “I should dearly like to have a hunt after the water rat we saw in the pond the other day, but master is talking philosophy, and requires an intelligent audience." These dogs are dear creatures, it must be owned. Come, Milverton, let us have a walk. Far back, through creeks and inlets making, And not by eastern windows only, When daylight comes, comes in the light; |