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spiritual things. I have read some of Jonathan Edwards's sermons, which have left a deep impression on my heart. I have attended more constantly than heretofore to private prayer, and feel a little renewed strength. Sometimes also I have been much affected in public prayer, particularly on Monday, January the 4th, at the monthly prayer-meeting. I felt much afraid lest some uncomfortable debates which we have had in the church, though now finished, should have grieved the Holy Spirit, and quenched our affection for each other, and so lest our spiritual welfare as a church, should be essentially injured.

"Sometimes I have been discouraged, and afraid that God would never bless me again. In my preaching, though I am at times affected with what I say, yet as to doing good to others, I go on as if I had no hope of it. Repeated disappointments, and long want of success, make me feel as if I were not to expect

success.

"Last Friday evening I was affected with the subject of divine withdrawment, and especially with the thought of being contented in such a state. If we lose our daily bread we cannot live, if we lose our health we are miserable, if we lose a dear friend we are the same: and can we lose the bread of life, the health of our souls, and the best friend of all, and be unconcerned? Last Lord's-day I preached upon the

desirableness of nearness to God, from Psa. xxvii. 9.-' Hide not thy face from me; put not thy servant away in anger; thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.'

"Feb. 16.-For these last three weeks I have too much again relapsed into a kind of thoughtlessness. I have felt a little in preaching, but not much. One day, 1 was looking over Dr. Owen on the Mortification of Sin. Speaking of the evil of sin in the soul unmortified, he says, 'It will take away a man's usefulness in his generation. His works, his endeavours, his labours seldom receive a blessing from God. If he be a preacher, God commonly blows upon his ministry, so that he shall labour in the fire, and not be honoured with success.' This, in a great degree, is realized in me.

"March 27.-Some weeks ago I thought I felt myself to gain prayer; but I have lately much into indifference.

ground by closet relapsed again too Yesterday I read

Jonathan Edwards's two sermons, On the importance of a thorough knowledge of divine truth, from Heb. v. 12. I felt this effect,-a desire to rise earlier, to read more, and to make the discovery of truth more a business. morning I have read another of his sermons, on God the Christian's portion, from Psa. lxxiii. 25. The latter part comes very close,

This

and I feel myself at a loss what to judge as to God's being my chief good. He asks, whether we had rather live in this world rich, and without God, or poor and with him? Perhaps I should not be so much at a loss to decide this question as another; namely, Had I rather be rich in this world, and enjoy but little of God; or poor, and enjoy much of God? I am confident the practice of great numbers of professing Christians declares, that they prefer the former; and in some instances I feel guilty of the same thing.

"In the course of this summer, (1790) have sometimes enjoyed a tenderness of heart in preaching. On June 27th, at the Lord's supper, I was affected with this subject, 'Do this in remembrance of me.' I was also greatly affected on Sept. 5. in preaching from Gal. vi. 7. Whatsoever a man soweth that shall he also reap.' But yet in general I have but little of the joys of salvation. I do not feel tempted to evil as heretofore, but yet all is not right. O for a closer walk with God!

"At the close of this year the review of my life afforded me neither pleasure, nor what may be called pain; but rather a kind of discouragement too common of late with me.

"From April (1790) I have begun to expound the book of Psalms, and sometimes have enjoyed pleasure therein."

1791. In the Spring of this year there appeared a religious concern among some of our young people. I proposed to meet them once a week at the vestry, to talk and pray with them. I hope this has been of use both to me and them. I find there are some hopeful appearances in neighbouring churches. May the Lord revive his own work.

"I feel some return of peace, but am not as I would be. Reading Owen on Spiritualmindedness, I feel afraid lest all should not be right with me at last. What I have of spirituality, as I account it, seems rather occasional than habitual.

"Towards the latter end of this summer, 1 heard of some revival of religion about Walgrave and Guilsborough; and that the means of it were their setting apart days for fasting and prayer. From hence I thought we had been long praying for the revival of God's cause, and the spread of the gospel among the heathen, &c. and perhaps God would begin with us at home first. I was particularly affected with this thought, by finding it in the sixty-seventh Psalm, which I was expounding about the same time: O that God's being merciful to us, and blessing us, might be the means of his way being made known upon earth, and his saving health among all nations; at least among a part of them.

O to be spiritually alive among ourselves! One Monday evening, I think in October, I told our friends of some such things, and prayed with them with more than usual affection. I was particularly encouraged by the promise of giving the Holy Spirit to them that ask. Surely if ever I wrestled with God in my life I did so then, for more grace, for forgiveness, for the restoration of the joys of salvation; and that not only for myself, but for the generality of Christians among us, whom I plainly perceived to be in a poor lukewarm state, when compared with the primitive Christians.

"The 27th of December, I set apart for fasting and prayer. I felt tender in the course of the day. Thought with some encouragement of Psa. cxix. 176.-'I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant, for I do not forget thy commandments.' I employed a considerable part of the day in reading over Owen on the Mortification of Sin. A review of the past year, and of several past years, tended to humble me.

"I felt tender on Friday evening, Dec. 30. in addressing my friends from Psa. xc. 14. on the mercy of God as the origin of all solid joy.

"1792-This year was begun, or nearly so, with a day of solemn fasting and prayer,

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