Yet, Lord, I am afraid, seeing I am as liable to err as other men, lest I should be led aside from truth by mine own imagination. Hast thou not promised, 'The meek thou wilt guide in judgment, and the meek thou wilt teach thy way?' Lord, thou knowest, at this time, my heart is not haughty, nor are mine eyes lofty. O'guide me by thy counsel, and afterwards receive me to glory.'

"One thing in particular I would pray for; namely, that I may not only be kept from erroneous principles, but may so love the truth as never to keep it back. O Lord, never let me, under the specious pretence of preaching holiness, neglect to promulge the truths of thy word; for this day I see, and have all along found, that holy practice has a necessary dependence on sacred principle. O Lord, if thou wilt open mine eyes to behold the wonders of thy word, and give me to feel their transforming tendency, then shall the Lord be my God; then let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I shun to declare, to the best of my knowledge, the whole counsel of God."

Some account has already been given of the controversy which his first publication respected, and repeated references are made to the manuscript in his first diary: he kept it long by him, and showed it to several friends who agreed with him in sentiment, as well as

1

to some who retained the opposite opinion. In his second diary there are various references to the same subject, which show how cautiously he proceeded in this business.

"1784. Aug. 20.-Conversation with a friend has occasioned much concern of mind. I feel myself a poor, ignorant creature, and have many misgivings of heart, about engaging in defence of what I esteem truth, lest the cause of Christ should be injured through me. Surely if I did not believe that in defence of which I write, to be important truth, I would hide my head in obscurity all my days.

"21.--Much pained at heart to-day, while reading in Dr. Owen, for whose character I feel a high veneration. Surely I am more brutish than any man, and have not the understanding of a man! O that I might be led into divine truth! Christ and his cross be all my theme.' Surely I love his name, and wish to make it the centre in which all the lines of my ministry should meet! The Lord direct my way in respect of publishing. Assuredly he knows my end is to vindicate the excellence of his character, and his worthiness of being loved and credited.

“ 23.The weight of publishing still lies upon me. I expect a great share of unhappiness through it. I had certainly much rather go through the world in peace, did I not

consider this step as my duty. I feel a jealousy of myself, lest I should not be endued with meekness and patience sufficient for controversy. The Lord keep me! I wish to suspect my own spirit, and go forth leaning on him for strength. I heard yesterday, that Mr. William Clarke is likely to come to Carlton: the Lord grant he may! O that I were of such a meek and lowly spirit as that good man!

"25.-Conversation with a friend this day, makes me abhor myself, and tremble about writing in a public way. O how little real meekness and lowliness of heart do I possess !

"26. I felt some tenderness to-day at the church-meeting; but much depression of spirit generally now attends me. I feel a solid satisfaction that the cause in which I am about to engage, is the cause of truth and righteousness; but I am afraid lest it should suffer through me.

"Oct. 21.-1 feel some pain in the thought of being about to publish on the obligations of men to believe in Christ, fearing I shall hereby expose myself to a good deal of abuse, which is disagreeable to the flesh. Had I not a satisfaction that it is the cause of God and truth, I would drop all thoughts of printing. The Lord keep me meek and lowly in heart.

"Nov. 16.-Employed in finishing my manuscript for the press. Wrote some thoughts on 1 Cor. xvi. 22. but have great reason for

shame and self reflection. While I write on love to Christ, I feel a world of unlawful self-love and self-seeking working in me.

"22.-Walked to Northampton : some prayer that God would bless that about which I am going; namely, the printing of my manuscript on the duty of sinners to believe in Christ."

This pamphlet was entitled,

(1.) The Gospel Worthy of all Acceptation: or the Obligations of Men fully to credit and cordially to approve whatever God makes known. Wherein is considered, the Nature of Faith in Christ, and the Duty of those where the Gospel comes in that Matter. Price 1s. 6d.

Though several of his brethren very cordially coincided with him, and had earnestly advised the publication, yet many ignorant people, who really knew nothing before of the controversy, began to raise an outcry against the book and it's author, charging him and his friends with having forsaken the doctrines of grace, and left the good old way. Good Mr. Brine had admitted the novelty of the opinion Mr. Fuller opposed, (which to the best of my knowledge had never been heard of in the church, till about sixty years before,) and had entitled his plea in defence of it, Motives to Love and Unity among Calvinists differing in opinion; but these poor creatures charged us

Meanwhile

with being turned Arminians. Mr. Birley of St. Ives, soon after Mr. Fuller's work was printed, urged his friend, Mr. Dan Taylor, a very respectable minister among the more evangelical General Baptists, to embrace this opportunity of endeavouring to promote real Arminianism.

Mr. Button attempted to defend the negative side of the question, on the plan of Dr. Gill and Mr. Brine. A Dr. Withers, patronized by a rich man in London, deeply tinged with Antinomianism, wrote in a far more extravagant and insolent strain; I should not say on the same side, for my brother Button and his learned predecessor would have abhorred his extravagant crudities. Mr. Taylor repeatedly attacked him on the opposite quarter. Mr. F. thus refers to these opponents:

Aug. 8, 1785.-Some exercise of mind this week, through an advertisement of Dr. Withers', wherein he threatens, I think in a very vain manner, to reduce my late publication to dust. I wish I may be kept in a right spirit. I find myself, on seeing what I have hitherto seen, exposed to a spirit of contempt, but I wish not to indulge too much of that temper. Doubtless 1 may be wrong in some things; I wish I may all along be open to conviction. I have found some desires go up to heaven for such a spirit.