They'll fearch a Planet's Houfe to know 590 Who broke and robb'd a Houfe below: Examine VENUS, and the Moon, Who ftole a Thimble or a Spoon: And tho' they nothing will confefs, Yet by their very Looks can guess, 595 And tell what guilty Afpect bodes,

Who ftole, and who receiv'd the Goods. They'll queftion MARS, and, by his Look, Detect who 'twas that nimm'd a Cloke: Make MERCURY confefs, and 'peach 600 Thofe Thieves which he himself did teach. They'll find, i' th' Phyfiognomies

O' th' Planets, all Men's Deftinies;
Like him that took the Doctor's Bill,
And fwallow'd it instead o' th' Pill:
605 Caft the Nativity o' th' Question,

And from Pofitions to be guefs'd on,
As fure as if they knew the Moment
Of Native's Birth, tell what will come on't.
They'll feel the Pules of the Stars,

610 To find out Agues, Coughs, Catarrhs;
And tell what Crifis does divine

The Rot in Sheep, or Mange in Swine; In Men, what gives or cures the Itch, What makes them Cuckolds; poor or rich: 615 What gains or loses, hangs or faves; What makes Men great, what Fools or Knaves, But not what wife; for only of those The Stars (they fay) cannot difpofe, No more than can the Aftrologians : 620 There they fay right, and like true Trojans. This RALPHO knew, and therefore took The other Course, of which we spoke.

Thus

Thus was th' accomplish'd Squire endu'd With Gifts and Knowledge, per'lous fhrewd. 625 Never did trufty Squire with Knight,

Or Knight with Squire, e'er jump more right.
Their Arms and Equipage did fit,

As well as Virtues, Parts, and Wit:
Their Valours too were of a Rate;
630 And out they fally'd at the Gate.
Few Miles on Horfeback had they jogged,
But Fortune unto them turn'd dogged;
For they a fad Adventure met,

Of which anon we mean to treat:
635 But e're we venture to unfold
Atchievements fo refolv'd and bold,
We fhou'd, as learned Poets use,
Invoke th' Afliftance of fome Mufe;
However Criticks count it fillier
640 Than Jugglers talking to Familiar:
We think 'tis no great Matter which,
They're all alike, yet we fhall pitch
On one that fits our Purpose moft,
Whom therefore thus do we accoft:

645

Thou that with Ale, or viler Liquors,
Didft infpire WITHERS, PRYN, ° and VICKARS,
And force them, tho' it was in Spite

Of Nature and their Stars, to write;
Who, as we find in fullen Writs,
650 And cross-grain'd Works of modern Wits,
With Vanity, Opinion, Want,

The Wonder of the Ignorant,
The Praises of the Author, penn'd
B' himfelf, or Wit-infuring Friend ;
655 The Itch of Picture in the Front,
With Bays and wicked Rhyme upon't,
C 4

All

7

All that is left o' th' forked Hill,
To make Men fcribble without Skill;
Canft make a Poet, 'fpite of Fate,
660 And teach all People to tranflate;
Tho' out of Languages, in which
They underftand no Part of Speech:
Affift me but this once, I'mplore,
And I fhall trouble thee no more.
665 In Western Clime there is a Town,

To thofe that dwell therein well known.
Therefore there needs no more be faid here,
We unto them refer our Reader;
For Brevity is very good,

670 When w'are, or are not understood.
To this Town People did repair

On Days of Market, or of Fair; And to crack'd Fiddle, and hoarfe Tabor, In Merriment did drudge and labour: 675 But now a Sport more formidable Had rak'd together Village Rabble: • 'Twas an old Way of recreating,

Which learned Butchers call Bear-Baiting
A bold advent'rous Exercife,

680 With ancient Heroes in high Prize;
For Authors do affirm it came

From Ifthmian or Nemean Game;
Others derive it from the Bear

That's fix'd in Northern Hemisphere, 685 And round about the Pole does make A Circle like a Bear at Stake,

That at the Chain's End wheels about,
And overturns the Rabble-Rout.

For after folemn Proclamation

690 In the Bear's Name (as is the Fashion

Accord

According to the Law of Arms,

To keep Men from inglorious Harms)
That none prefume to come so near
As forty Foot of Stake of Bear;
695 If any yet be fo fool-hardy,

T'expofe themselves to vain Jeopardy;
If they come wounded off, and lame,
No Honour's got by fuch a Maim;
Altho' the Bear gain much, b'ing bound
700 In Honour to make good his Ground,
When he's engag'd, and takes no Notice,
If any prefs upon him, who 'tis ;

But lets them know, at their own Coft,
That he intends to keep his Poft.
705 This to prevent, and other Harms,
Which always wait on Feats of Arms,
(For in the Hurry of a Fray,

'Tis hard to keep out of Harm's Way) Thither the Knight his Courfe did fteer, 710 To keep the Peace 'twixt Dog and Bear; As he believ'd he was bound to do

715

In Confcience and Commiffion too.
And therefore thus befpoke the Squire :
We that are wifely mounted higher
Than Conftables in Curule Wit,
When on Tribunal Bench we fit,
Like Speculators fhou'd foresee,
From Pharos of Authority,
Portended Mischiefs farther than
720 Low Proletarian Tything-Men.
And therefore being inform'd by Bruit,
That Dog and Bear are to difpute;
For fo of late Men Fighting name,
Because they often prove the fame :

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725

725 (For where the firft does hap to be,
The laft does coincidere :)

Quantum in nobis, have thought good,
To fave th' Expence of Christian Blood,
And try if we, by Mediation

730 Of Treaty and Accommodation,
Can end the Quarrel, and compofe
The bloody Duel, without Blows.
Are not our Liberties, our Lives,
The Laws, Religion, and our Wives,
735 Enough at once to lie at Stake
For Cov'nant and the Cause's fake?
But in that Quarrel Dogs and Bears,
As well as we, muft venture theirs?
This Feud, by Jefuits invented,
740 By evil Counfel is fomented;
There is a MACHIAVILIAN Plot,
(Tho' ev'ry Nare olfact is not)
A deep Design in't to divide
The Well-affected that confide,
745 By fetting Brother against Brother,
To claw and curry one another.
Have we not Enemies plus fatis,
That Cane & Angue pejus hate us?
And fhall we turn our Fangs and Claws
750 Upon our own felves, without Caufe?
That fome occult Defign doth lie

9

In bloody Cynar&tomachy,

Is plain enough to him that knows,
How Saints lead Brothers by the Nofe.

755 I wish myself a Pfeudo-Prophet,
But fure fome Mifchief will come of it;
Unless by providential Wit,

Or Force, we averruncate it.

For