is kicked out of doors; the first profelyte he makes, is himself; and, when that is once compaffed, the difficulty is not fo great in bringing over others; a strong delufion always operating from without, as vigorously as from within. For cant and vifion are to the ear and the eye the fame, that tickling is to the touch. Those entertainments and pleasures we moft value in life, are fuch as dupe and play the wag with the fenfes. For, if we take an examination of what is generally understood by happiness, as it has respect either to the understanding or the fenfes, we fhall find all its properties and adjuncts will herd under this fhort definition: that it is a perpetual poffeffion of being well deceived. And first, with relation to the mind or understanding, it is manifeft, what mighty advantages fiction has over truth ; and the reason is just at our elbow, because imagination can build nobler scenes, and produce more wonderful revolutions, than fortune or nature will be at expence to furnish. Nor is mankind fo much to blame in his choice thus determining him, if we confider that the debate merely lies between things paft, and things conceived: and fo the question is only this; whether things that have place in the imagination, may not as properly be faid to exist, as thofe that are feated in the memory; which may be juftly held in the affirmative, and very much to the advantage of the former, fince this is acknowledged to be the womb of things, and the other allowed to be no more than the grave. Again, if we take this definition of happiness, and examine it with reference to the fenfes, it will be acknowledged wonderfully adapt. How fading and infipid do all objects accost us that are not conveyed in the vehicle of delufion! how fhrunk is every thing, as it appears in the glafs of nature! fo that if it were not for the affiftance of artificial mediums, falfe lights, refracted angles, varnish and tinfel; there would be a mighty level in the felicity and enjoyments of mortal men. If this were feriously confidered by the world, as I have a certain reafon to fufpect it hardly will, men would no longer

reckon

T

reckon among their high points of wifdom the art of expofing weak fides, and publishing infirmities; an employment, in my opinion, neither better nor worse than that of unmasking, which, I think, has never been allowed fair ufage, either in the world, or the play-boufe.

In the proportion that credulity is a more peaceful poffeffion of the mind, than curiofity; fo far preferable is that wisdom, which converfes about the surface, to that pretended philofophy, which enters into the depth of things, and then comes gravely back with informations and difcoveries, that in the infide they are good for nothing. The two fenfes, to which all objects first address themselves, are the fight and the touch; these never examine farther than the colour, the fhape, the fize, and whatever other qualities dwell, or are drawn by art upon the outward bodies; and then comes reafon officiously with tools for cutting, and opening, and mangling, and piercing, offering to demonftrate, that they are not of the fame confiftence quite through. Now I take all this to be the last degree of perverting nature; one of whose eternal laws it is, to put her best furniture forward. And therefore, in order to fave the charges of all fuch expenfive anatomy for the time to come, I do here think fit to inform the reader, that, in fuch conclufions as thefe, reason is certainly in the right; and that in moft corporeal beings, which have fallen under my cognizance, the outfide hath been infinitely preferable to the in: whereof I have been farther convinced from fome late experiments. Last week I faw a woman flayed, and you will hardly believe, how much it altered her perfon for the worse. Yesterday I ordered the carcafe of a beau to be ftripped in my presence; when we were all amazed to find fo many unfufpected faults under one fuit of cloaths. Then I laid open his brain, his heart, and his Spleen: but I plainly perceived at every operation, that, the farther we proceeded, we found the defects increase upon us in number and bulk; from all which, I juftly formed this

conclu

conclufion to myfelf; that whatever philofopher or projector can find out an art to folder and patch up the flaws and imperfections of nature, will deferve much better of mankind, and teach us a more useful science, than that fo much in prefent esteem, of widening and expofing them, like him, who held anatomy to be the ultimate. end of phyfick. And he, whofe fortunes and difpofitions have placed him in a convenient ftation to enjoy the fruits of this noble art; he that can with Epicurus content his ideas with the films and images, that fly off upon his fenfes from the fuperficies of things; fuch a man, truly wife, creams off nature, leaving the four and the dregs for philofophy and reafon to lap up. This is the fublime and refined point of felicity, called. the poffeffion of being well deceived; the ferene peaceful ftate of being a fool among knaves.

But to return to madness. It is certain, that, according to the fyftem I have above deduced, every Species thereof proceeds from a redundancy of vapours; therefore, as fome kinds of phrenzy give double ftrength to the finews, fo there are of other Species, which add vigour, and life, and spirit to the brain: now, it usually happens, that these active fpirits, getting poffeffion of the brain, resemble those that haunt other waste and empty dwellings, which for want of business either vanish, and carry away a piece of the house, or elfe stay at home and iting it all out of the windows. By which are myftically difplayed the two principal branches of madness, and which fome philofophers, not confidering fo well as I, have mistaken to be different in their caufes, over haftily affigning the firft to deficiency, and the other to redundance.

I think it therefore manifeft, from what I have here advanced, that the main point of skill and address is to furnish employment for this redundancy of vapour, and prudently to adjust the season of it; by which means it may certainly become of cardinal and catholic emolument in a commonwealth. Thus one man chufing a

I

proper

1

proper juncture, leaps into a gulph, from thence proceeds a hero, and is called the faver of his country; another atchieves the fame enterprize, but, unluckily timing it, has left the brand of madness fixed as a reproach upon his memory; upon fo nice a distinction are we taught to repeat the name of Curtius with reverence and love; that of Empedocles with hatred and contempt. Thus also it is usually conceived, that the elder Brutus only perfonated the fool and mad-man for the good of the publick; but this was nothing elfe, than a redundancy of the fame vapour long mifapplied, called by the Latins, † Ingenium par negotiis; or, to tranflate it as nearly as I can, a fort of phrenzy, never in its right element, till you take it up in the business of the ftate.

Upon all which, and many other reasons of equal weight, though not equally curious, I do here gladly embrace an opportunity I have long fought for, of recommending it as a very noble undertaking to Sir Edward Seymour, Sir Chriftopher Mufgrave, Sir John Bowls, John How, Efq; and other patriots concerned, that they would move for leave to bring in a bill for appointing commiffioners to infpect into Bedlam, and the parts adjacent; who shall be impowered to fend for perfons, papers, and records; to examine into the merits and qualifications of every student and profeffor; to obferve with utmost exactness their several difpofitions and behaviour; by which means duly diftinguishing and adapting their talents, they might produce admirable inftruments for the feveral offices in a state, civil and military; proceeding in fuch methods as I shall here humbly propofe. And, I hope the gentle reader will give fome allowance to my great folicitudes in this important affair, upon account of the high esteem I have borne that honourable fociety, whereof I had fome time the happinefs to be an unworthy member.

Tacit.

*

*

Ecclefiaftical,

Is any ftudent tearing his ftraw in piece-meal, fwearing and blafpheming, biting his grate, foaming at the mouth, and emptying his piffpot in the fpectator's fa ces? let the right worshipful the commiffioners of infpec tion give him a regiment of dragoons, and fend him into Flanders among the reft. Is another eternally talking, fputtering, gaping, bawling in a found without period or article? what wonderful talents are here miflaid let him be furnished immediately with a green bag and papers, and three pence in his pocket, and away with him to Westminster-ball. You will find a third gravely taking the dimenfions of his kennel; a perfon of forefight and infight, though kept quite in the dark; for why, like Mofes, ecce † cornuta erat ejus facies. He walks duly in one pace, intreats your penny with due gravity and ceremony; talks much of hard times, and taxes, and the whore of Babylon; bars up the wooden window of his cell conftantly at eight o'clock: dreams of fire, and fhop-lifters, and courte customers, and privileged places. Now, what a figure would all thefe acquirements amount to, if the owner were fent into the city among his brethren! Behold a fourth, in much and deep conversation with himself, biting his thumbs at proper junctures; his countenance checkered with business and defign; fometimes walking very faft, with his eyes nailed to a paper that he holds in his hands: a great faver of time, fomewhat thick of hearing, very fhort of fight, but more of memory: a man ever in hafte, a great hatcher and breeder of bufinefs, and excellent at the famous art of whispering nothing: a huge idolater of monofyllables and procraftination; fo ready to give his word to every body, that he never keeps it: one that has forgot the common meaning of words, but an admirable retainer of the found: extremely fubject to the loofenefs, for his occa

A lawyer's coach-hire, when four together, from any of the inns of court to Wefiminfler.

† Cornutus is either horned or

fhining, and by this term Mofes is defcribed in the vulgar Latin. of the bible.