G : THE CONCLUSION. OING too long is a cause of abortion as effectual, though not fo frequent, as going too fhort; and holds true efpecially in the labours of the brain. Well fare the heart of that noble * jefuit, who first adventured to confefs in print, that books must be fuited to their several seasons, like dress, and diet, and diverfions and better fare our noble nation, for refining upon this among other French modes. I am living fast to fee the time, when a book that miffes its tide, shall be neglected, as the moon by day, or like mackarel a week after the season. No man hath more nicely obferved our climate, than the bookfeller who bought the copy of this work; he knows to a tittle, what subjects will best go off in a dry year, and which it is proper to expofe foremoft, when the weather-glafs is fallen to much rain. When he had feen this treatise, and confulted his almanack upon it, he gave me to understand, that he had manifeftly confidered the two principal things, which were the bulk, and the subject; and found, it would never take, but after a long vacation, and then only, in cafe it fhould happen to be a hard year for turnips. Upon which I defired to know, confidering my argent neceffities, what he thought might be acceptable this month. He looked weftward, and faid, I doubt we fhall have a fit of bad weather; however, if you could prepare fome pretty little banter (but not in verfe) or a small treatife upon the- -it would run like wild-fire. But, if it hold up, I have already hired an author to write fomething against Dr. Bentley, ruhich I am fure, will turn to account †. * Pere d'Orleans. + When Dr. Prideaux brought the copy of his connexion of the Old and New Testament to the book feller, he told him, it was a dry fubject, and the printing could not fafely be ventured unlefs he could enliven it with a little bumour. At At length we agreed upon this expedient; that, when a customer comes for one of these, and defires in confidence to know the author; he will tell him very privately, as a friend, naming which-ever of the wits hall happen to be that week in vogue; and if Durfey's laft play fhould be in course, I had as lieve he may be the perfon as Congreve. This I mention, because I am wonderfully well acquainted with the prefent relish of courteons readers; and have often observed with fingu lar pleasure, that a fly, driven from a honey-pot, will immediately with very good appetite alight, and finifh his meal on an excrement. I have one word to fay upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and, I know very well, the judicious world is refolved to lift me in that number. I conceive therefore, as to the bufinefs of being profound, that it is with writers, as with wells; a perfon with good eyes may fee to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there; and often, when there is nothing in the world at the bottom, befides drynefs and dirt, though it be but a yard and half under ground, it shall pafs however for wondrous deep, upon no wiser a reason than because it is wondrous dark. I am now trying an experiment very frequent among modern authors; which is, to write upon nothing: when the fubject is utterly exhaufted to let the pen ftill move on; by fome called, the ghost of wit, delighting to walk after the death of its body. And to fay the truth, there feems to be no part of knowledge in fewer hands, than that of discerning when to have done. By the time that an author hath written out a book, he and his readers are become old acquaintants, and grow very loth to part; fo that I have fometimes known it to be in writing, as in vifiting, where the ceremony of taking leave has employed more time than the whole converfation before. The conclufion of a treatise refembles the conclufion of human life, which hath fometimes been compared to the end of a feaft; where few are are fatisfied to depart, ut plenus vitæ conviva: for men will fit down after the fulleft meal, though it be only to doze, or to fleep out the reft of the day. But, in this latter, I differ extremely from other writers; and shall be too proud, if, by all my labours, I can have any ways contributed to the repofe of mankind in* times fo turbulent and unquiet as thefe. Neither do I think fuch an employment so very alien from the office of a quit, as fome would fuppofe. For among a very polite nation in † Greece, there were the fame temples built and confecrated to fleep and the mufes, between which two deities they believed the ftricteft friendship was established. I have one concluding favour to requeft of my reader; that he will not expect to be equally diverted and informed by every line, or every page of this difcourfe; but give some allowance to the author's fpleen, and fhort fits or intervals of dulnefs, as well as his own; and lay it seriously to his confcience, whether, if he were walking the ftreets in dirty weather, or a rainy day, he would allow it fair dealing in folks at their cafe from a window to criticife his gait, and ridicule his dress at such a juncture. In my difpofure of employments of the brain, I have thought fit to make invention the mafter, and to give method, and reafon, the office of its lacqueys. The caufe of this diftribution was, from obferving it my peculiar cafe to be often under a temptation of being witty upon occafions, where I could be neither wife nor found, nor any thing to the matter in hand. And, I am too much a fervant of the modern way to neglect any fuch opportunities, whatever pains or improprieties I may be at to introduce them. For I have obferved, that from a laborious collection of seven hundred thirty eight flowers, and shining hints of the beft medern authors, digefted with great reading into my book of *This was written before the peace of Ryfwick, which was figned in Sept. 1697. Trezenii, Paufan. 1. 2. common common-places; I have not been able after five years to draw, hook, or force into common conversation any more than a dozen. Of which dozen, the one moiety failed of fuccefs, by being dropped among unfuitable company; and the other coft me fo many ftrains, and traps, and ambages to introduce, that I at length refolved to give it over. Now, this disappointment (to difcover a fecret) I muft own, gave me the firft hint of fetting up for an author; and I have fince found among fome particular friends, that it is become a very general complaint, and has produced the fame effects upon many others. For, I have remarked many a towardly word to be wholly neglected or defpifed in difcourfe, which hath paffed very smoothly, with fome confideration and efteem, after its preferment and fanction in print. But now, fince by the liberty and encouragement of the prefs, I am grown abfolute mafter of the occafions and opportunities, to expofe the talents I have acquired; I already difeover, that the iffues of my obfervanda begin to grow too large for the receipts. Therefore, I fhall here paufe a while, till I find, by feeling the world's pulfe, and my own, that it will be of abfolute neceffity for us both, to refume my pen. FINIS. |