Stuck in a hole here like a Peg,
And if I knew which way to do't,
(Your Honor safe) I'd let you out.
That Dames by Fail-delivery

Of Errant Knights have been set free,
When by Enchantment they have been,
And sometimes for it too, laid in;
Is that which Knights are bound to do
By Order, Oath, and Honor too:

For what are they renown'd and famous else
But aiding of distress'd Damosels?
But for a Lady no ways Errant,

To free a Knight, we have no w[a]rrant
In any Authentical Romance,

Or Classic Author yet of France:
And I'd be loath to have you break
An ancient Custom for a freak,
Or Innovation introduce

In place of things of antique use;
To free your heels by any course,
That might b' unwholesome to your Spurs :
Which if I should consent unto,
It is not in my power to do;
For 'tis a service must be done ye,
With solemn previous Ceremony.
Which always has been us'd t' untie
The Charms of those who here do lie;
For as the Ancients heretofore
To Honor's Temple had no dore,
But that which thorough Virtue's lay;
So, from this Dungeon, there's no way
To honour'd freedom, but by passing
That other Virtuous School of Lashing,
Where Knights are kept in narrow lists,
With wooden Lockets 'bout their wrists,
In which they for a while are Tenants,
And for their Ladies suffer Penance:
Whipping, that's Virtues Governess,
Tutress of Arts and Sciences;

That mends the gross mistakes of Nature,

And puts new life into dull matter;
That lays foundation for Renown,
And all the honors of the Gown:
Thus suffer'd, they are set at large,
And freed with honor'ble discharge:
Then in their Robes the Penitentials,
Are straight presented with Credentials,
And in their way attended on
By Magistrates of every Town;
And all respect and charges paid,
They're to their ancient Seats convey'd.
Now if you'll venture for my sake,
To try the toughness of your back,
And suffer (as the rest have done)
The laying of a Whipping on,
(And may you prosper in your suit,
As you with equal vigor do't)

I here engage to be your Bail,
And free you from th' Unknightly Jail.
But since our Sex's modesty
Will not allow I should be by,
Bring me on Oath, a fair account,
And honor too, when you have don't;
And I'll admit you to the place,
You claim as due in my good grace.
If Matrimony and Hanging go
By Dest'ny, why not Whipping too?
What med'cine else can cure the fits
Of Lovers when they lose their Wits?
Love is a Boy, by Poets styl'd,

Then Spare the Rod, and spill the Child.
A Persian Emp'ror whipp'd his Grannum
The Sea, his Mother Venus came on;
And hence some Rev'rend men approve
Of Rosemary in making Love.
As skilful Coopers hoop their Tubs
With Lydian and with Phrygian Dubs;
Why may not Whipping have as good
A Grace, perform'd in Time and Mood;
With comely movement, and by Art,

Raise Passion in a Lady's heart?
It is an easier way, to make

Love by, than that which many take.
Who would not rather suffer Whipping,
Than swallow Toasts of bits of Ribbin?
Make wicked Verses, Treats, and Faces,
And spell Names over, with Beer-glasses?
Be under Vows to hang and die
Loves Sacrifice, and all a lie?
With China-Oranges and Tarts,

And whining Plays, lay baits for Hearts?
Bribe Chamber-maids with love and money,
To break no Roguish jeasts upon ye;
For Lilies limn'd on Cheeks, and Roses,
With painted perfumes, hazard Noses?
Or vent'ring to be brisk and wanton,
Do Penance in a Paper Lanthorn ?
All this you may compound for, now
By suff'ring what I offer you:
Which is no more than has been done,
By Knights for Ladies long agone:
Did not the Great La Mancha do so,
For the Infanta Del Taboso?

Did not th' Illustrious Bassa make
Himself a Slave for Misse's sake?
And with Bulls Pizle, for her love,
Was taw'd as gentle as a Glove?
Was not young Florio sent (to cool
His flame from Biancafiore) to School,
Where Pedant made his Pathick Bum
For her sake suffer Martyrdom?
Did not a certain Lady whip,

Of late, her Husband's own Lordship?
And though a Grandee of the House,
Clawd him with Fundamental blows,
Ty'd him stark-naked to a Bed-post,
And firk'd his hide as if sh' had rid post;
And after in the Sessions-Court,
Where Whipping's judg'd, had honor for't?
This swear you will perform, and then

I'll set you from th' Inchanted Den,
And the Magician Circle clear.

Quoth he, I do profess and swear,
And will perform what you enjoyn,
Or may I never see you mine.

Amen (quoth she) Then turn'd about, And bid her Squire let him out. But ere an Artist could be found T' undo the Charms another bound, The Sun grew low, and left the Skies, Put down (some write) by Ladies eyes. The Moon pull'd off her veil of Light, That hides her face by day from sight, (Mysterious Veil, of brightness made, That's both her lustre, and her shade) And in the Night as freely shon, As if her Rays had been her own: For Darkness is the proper Sphere, Where all false Glories use t' appear. The twinkling Stars began to muster, And glitter with their borrow'd luster, While Sleep the weary'd World reliev'd, By counterfeiting Death reviv'd. Our Vot'ry thought it best t' adjorn His Whipping-penance till the morn, And not to carry on a Work Of such importance, in the Dark, With erring haste, but rather stay, And do't i' th' open face of Day; And in the mean time, go in quest Of next Retreat to take his Rest.

CANTO II.

THE

ARGUMENT.

The Knight and Squire in hot Dispute,
Within an Ace of falling out;
Are parted with a sudden fright
Of strange Alarm, and stranger Sight;
With which adventuring to stickle,
They're sent away in nasty pickle.

T

Is strange how some men's Tempers suit
(Like Bawd and Brandee) with Dispute,
That for their own Opinions stand fast,
Only to have them claw'd and canvast.
That kept their Consciences in Cases,
As Fidlers do their Crowds and Bases,
Ne'er to be us'd but when they're bent
To play a fit for Argument.

Make true and false, unjust and just,
Of no use but to be discust.
Dispute and set a Paradox,

Like a strait Boot upon the Stocks,
And stretch it more unmercifully,

Than Helmont, Mountaign, White, or Tully.
So th' antient Stoicks in their Porch,
With fierce dispute maintain'd their Church,
Beat out their Brains in fight and study,