you, therefore, tell me frankly, what fort of Course you'd have me fteer; why Madam, fays I, in the firft Place, forget the Defunct, and in Order to bring that about, relieve Nature, to which you have been fo long unmerciful, with the most exquifite Meats, and the most generous Wines.

Upon Condition you will fup with me, cries our afflicted Lady, I will fubmit to your Prefcription. But why thould I trouble your Grace with a Narration in every Particular; in fhort, we had a noble Regale that Evening in her BedChamber: and our good Widow push'd the Glafs fo ftrenuously about, that her Comforter (meaning myfelf) could hardly find the Way to his Coach. To conclude this Farce (which I am afraid begins now to be too tedious to your Grace) this Phenix of her Sex, this Pattern of Conjugal Fidelity, two Mornings ago, was married to a fmooth-chin'd Enfign of Count Tranmendorf's Regiment, that has not a Farthing in the World but his Pay to depend on : I affifted at the Ceremony, though I little imagined the Lady would take the Matrimonial Receipt fo foon.

I was the eafier perfuaded to give your Grace a large Account of this Tragi-Comedy, not only because I wanted better Matter to entertain you withal at this lazy Conjuncture, but also, to fhew your Grace, that not only Ephefus in ancient, and England in later Times, have afforded fuch fantastical Widows; but even Germany itfelf; where if the Ladies have not more Virtue than thofe of their Sex in other Countries, yet they pretend, at least, a greater Management of the Outside of it.

By

By my laft Packet from England, among a heap of nauseous Trafh, I received the Three Dukes of Dunftable; which is really fo monftrous and infipid, that I am forry Lapland. or Livonia had not the Honour of producing it; but if I did Penance in reading it, I rejoiced to hear that it was fo folemnly interred to the Tune of Catcalls; the Squire of Alfatia, however, which came by the following Post, made me fome Amends for the curfed Impertinence of the Three Dukes. And my witty Friend, Sir C---S---y's Bellamira gave me that intire Satisfaction, that I cannot read it over too often.

They tell me, my old Acquaintance Mr. Dryden, has left off the Theatre, and wholly applies himself to the Study of the Controverfies between the two Churches; pray Heaven, this strange Alteration in him, portends nothing difaftrous to the State; but I have all along obferved, that Poets do Religion as little Service by drawing their Pens for it, as the Divines do Poetry by pretending to Verfification.

But I forget how troublesome I have been to your Grace; I fhall therefore conclude with affuring you, that I am, and to the laft Moment of my Life fhall be, ambitious of being,

My Lord,

Your Grace's moft obedient,

and most obliged Servant,

GEORGE ETHEREGE.

VOL. II.

E

LET

LETTER LXII.

Sir George Etherege to his Friend in

Dear Sir,

MY

London.

Y Letters from England tell me, that this Summer my Lord Chamberlain has won the Money at Bowls, and my Lord Devonshire at Dice; I hope neither of 'em have been lucky at your Coft. Before you receive this, I reckon you will be in your Winter Quarters, where you may have Leisure to give me a fhort Account of what pafs'd at the Campaign at Tunbridge. I cannot but remember Mr. M. tho' he seems to have quite forgot me; he is a very extraordinary Perfon, I find he had rather lend a Friend a hundred Pounds, than take the Pains to write to him. I'm fenfible his many Employments afford him little Leifure; and I should pity his Mistress, but that I am perfuaded his Prudence has made him chufe her in the Family. The Women here are not generally handfome; yet there is a File of young Ladies in this Town, whofe Arms would glitter, were they drawn up against the Maids of Honour; but the Devil's in't, Marriage is fo much their Business, that they cannot fatisfy a Lover that has Defires more fervent than Frank Villers. 'Tis a fine thing for a Man, who has been nourish'd fo many Years with good fubftantial Flesh and Blood, to be reduc'd to Sighs and Wishes, and all those airy Courses which are ferved up to feaft a Belly Paffion; but to comfort myself in my Misfor

tune,

tune, I have learn'd to ogle and languish in public, like any Walcup; and to content myself in private, with a Piece of Houfhold Bread, as well as fome of my Friends. However unkind Fortune has been to you, don't revenge yourself on me; force the Sullennefs of your Temper, and let me hear from you; it is not reasonable I should lose a Friend, because you have loft your Money.

From Ratisbon,

Aug. 23,-88.

Yours,

G. ETHEREGE.

J

LETTER LXIII.

Rakehelly T

To Mr. T,

UST now, ftroling thro' my Pocket-book, I ftumbl'd upon your Name: Mrs. P's Name, Charing-cross, and the Sign of the Elephant, which gave Remembrance fuch a Bang, I have made a Collection of Pen, Ink, and Paper, with a Design to be as good as my Word, and write to you. So the Queftion how I fhall write, and the Question whether I fhall write or not, are indeed become no Questions at all; but the Question what I fhall write, is a great Question ftill. The House of Office may perhaps help me. You'll excufe me for a Moment.

I am return'd, and by Providence's Help, have done your Business as well as my own. I have found fix Leaves of a Dutch Sermon; the Title Page I have made ufe of, the reft I send you inclos'd,

E 2

clos'd. I don't understand much of the Language; but I think it gives you an Account how many Ton of Saints the Pagans fhipp'd off for the Spiritual Indies, when the Chriftians lived in Holland: He fays the Manufacture now is quite deftroy'd, and the Trade is not worth a TNow you must know, Parfons in this Country tell Truth in their Sermons; fo, as to a Lover of Truth and Sermons both, I fend you this. The Postage won't coft you above half a Piece; a dog Penny-worth, I think.

All I have to fay is, that this is a fcoundrel Town. The Dutch Women here are greafy and fat, the English faucy and ugly. Here's a great deal of Snow, and very bad Fires; curfed Meat, and worfe Company: that for our Diverfions. As for Bufinefs: my Lord W is afleep by the Fire-fide; Mr. Ruf is picking his Nofe; the Pfs is quilting a Petticoat; her Maids are all at their Prayers; Ju is expounding the Revelations; Bt is writing of Libels; the Pr is studying, I guess what; and the English Ambaffador is a Fool. Zoons, Sir, I have got the Cramp; O G! how many damn'd Tricks has Nature to plague Mankind I can't write a Word more. You'll fend me an Answer to this, won't you? Do, prithee do; and don't be long about it now.

If you direct your Letter to me at Youfrow Zouterkin's in Cut-freet, 'tis fix to four but my Hand and my A will have it in their Turns.

LET