amputated. To this fhe confented | eral weeks. On the morning of when the reasons were ftated to her, and difplayed great fortitude on the trying occafion. When the furgeon entered the room to perform the operation, fhe difcovered thofe painful feelings in him, which the ingenuous and the humane of his profeffion have always manifefted at such times. She affumed a cheerful countenance, converfed like one at eafe, and encouraged him to proceed. She scarcely uttered a groan during the operation. This was performed, May 22, 1799. Her health was mended after this; and her friends were flattered with the profpect of her complete recovery, until the next March, when fhe fell into a languishing fate which terminated in her death. Near the clofe of her fickness, and when the felt herfelf to be on the borders of the eternal world, fhe looked forward to death with compofure, and with apparent fatisfaction; as an event which would place her beyond the reach of fin and forrow, and introduce her to a state of perfect purity and joy. She faid to her Chriftian friends, "I find higher enjoyment in God, and in divine things, than I have experienced for many years. The thought of leaving this world, and of being freed from a hard, wicked heart, of being like God, and enjoying him, and the fociety of faints and angels, affords me great fupport and comfort in my ficknefs, and daily expectation of death. I fometimes fear that I am impatient to die. Oh, that I might patiently wait God's time! I fee him in every thing. How brightly his glory fhines in every object around me! Muft I not defire to dwell forever in the prefence of fuch a God!" She continued in this fweet frame of mind for fev. VOL. I. No. 6. the day preceding her death, her apprehenfions were very gloomy, for a fhort feafon. The divine conduct in this inftance was fuited to reprove her for her impatience to be abfent from the body, and deeply to impress her mind with her dependence on fovereign mercy. She faid to her husband, as he was alone with her, "God has forfaken me! I cannot find him! I feel no heart to pray! I am going to be banished from God, and his faints forever! How can I endure this! Oh, I cannot endure this! I have had confidence in God, in times past, as I fuppofed; tho' I never thought that I had full affurance." While she was in this distress she was exhorted to put her trust in God, with the hope that he would appear for her relief. She lay, feveral minutes, like one a fleep. Her countenance was then turned towards her afflicted husband, and appeared ferene as the morning. She broke out "Oh! how glorious is God! How lovely is his character! How lovely are all his faints !" She proceded in the like train, three train, three or four minutes. When fhe had made a pause, feveral perfons came into the room. Again did fhe open her lips in fimilar tranfporting language. At the close the requested a female attendant to make ready her grave clothes which fhe had feveral years before, laid up for herself. Being now exhaufted by speaking, and her bodily pains being violent, an attempt was made to give her relief by adminiftering an opiate. She foon fell into a fleep, in which the remained until the middle of the day, groaning at fhort intervals. At noon he opened her eyes, and faid, "I wish to be awake-to be perfectly awake; that I may bid Ee with himself. To acquire the true knowledge of ourselves, of our natural turn of mind, of our paffions, and of our various prejudices will coft us much pains and close felf-examination. This knowledge is neceffary, if we would be either ufeful to mankind, in our refpective places and stations, or enjoy real happiness. you all farewel. Pray for me, for now I need a strong faith." She relapsed into a fleep, and continued in it, until near 4 o'clock in the afternoon, when the appeared to be fully awake and in prayer. She was heard to utter diftinctly the following words, feveral times" TNE RECONCILED COUNTENANCE OF GOD !" On being asked whether the enjoyed his Some of the difadvantages arireconciled countenance, the repli-fing from the want of this kind of ed, in a warm and affectionate knowledge, as they refpect moral manner "Oh, yes!" She was and religious duties, will now be then asked, whether the reconci- mentioned, and briefly elucidated. led countenance of God appeared And it is obvious to reflect that to be a fupport and comfort to her, pride and refentment, envy and the anfwered, "Oby yes!" Other inhumanity flow from felf-ignoquestions of like import were put rance. One reafon why men are to her, which the answered in a vain and proud, wrathful and refatisfactory manner. She again vengeful; and in confequence of obferved, as the had heretofore, pride, anger, and envy, cruel and "The glory of God fhines brightly inhuman, is because they do not in every thing!" She addreffed fee their own failings. And the feveral perfons prefent, who did chief reafon why they do not fee not profefs religion, expreffing a their own failings, is because they ftrong defire that they might fee, hate felf-infpection. Let a perfon as the did, the divine glory, and turn his eyes within-let him study might be prepared for death. She his own heart with all fidelity then turned her eyes towards a fe- and diligence and feriously remale Christian friend, who fat by fect upon his own innumerable imher bed, and, with a fmiling coun- perfections, omiflions of duty, extenance, faid to her "I fhall foon ercifes of felfishness and an ill-temmeet you in heaven!" Thefe per-his want of candor, condewere her last words. She fell in fcenfion, and forgiveness of inju to a fleep, and the fymptoms of ries, and he will fee enough to death were visible. She ended her make him humble. BEHOLD I AM mortal existence at 1 o'clock, on VILE, is the language of self-examLord's day morning, and, as Chrifination. Let a perfon only have tian charity requires us to believe, a clear fight of his own wicked was received into the heavenly heart, corrupt propensities, and unmanfions. Blessed are the dead who holy life, and he will feel that he die in the Lord. has enough at home to cenfure and rectify, without running abroad to complain and condenin. BENEVOLUS. FOR THE CONNECTICUT EVAN- Whence is it that youth is fo often confident and forward ? An Effay on the unhappy confequen-Whence is it that age too is fome E ces of felf-ignorance. times obftinate and felf-willed? It is refolvable into felf-ignorance. VERY perfon fhould take faith, and ravishing contemplations of God and a future ftate are most defirable advantages; but still 1 prefer charity which edifieth before the higheft intellectual perfections of that knowledge which puffeth up. Thofe fpiritual advantages are certainly beft for us which increafe our modesty, which awaken our caution, and which difpofe us to fufpect and deny ourselves.→ The highest in God's esteem are meaneft in their own: and their excellency confifts in the meeknefs and truth, not in the pomp and oftentation of piety, which affects to be feen and admired of men." He who is grofsly igno rant of himself and a Aranger to his own heart will be prone to be ill-natured, four, and uncharitable. Meeknefs will be banished. Kindnefs will be withholden. Hard fpeeches will be uttered. Human ity and benevolence will not be extended to others. Their feelings are, fland by for I am holier thantbox. Of the various fpecies of pride, it is commonly remarked, that fpiritual pride is the most odious. It deftroys all the beauty of any virtues which we may poffefs. Whatever other pride we indulge, though none ought to be indulged, let us beware of fpiritual pride. To fee any elated on account of fpiritual gifts or graces, any either real or fuppofed attainments in the divine life is extremely difgufting. It is the mark of a very wrong and malignant heart, to envy others their happiness, to harbour revengeto give way to anger, or to a bitter, uncharitable and cenforious temper. The difciples of a meek Further, Self-ignorance is a and lowly Redeemer once, forget- great hindrance to the duty of felf ting the ties of benevolence and denial, a duty fo important in the candor, were for calling down fire Chriftian fcheme. He who knows from heaven on those who differed not his own temper, and state, his from them, Luke ix. 55. They prejudices and conftitutional fins received, as was juft, a reprimand will not know where, and how to from their divine Mafter, And he practise felf-denial. But no duty turned and rebuked them and faid ye is oftener, perhaps, preffed upon know not what manner of fpirit ye us by the author of our holy reli are of. Self-ignorance leads to gion.. It is among his great prepride, therefore, to revenge, and cepts, that we should take up out cenforioufnefs." Might I be al-crofs, deny ourselves, and follow All our evil propenfities must be fubdued-our love of fin and the world mortified; and our backwardness to duty conquered, We may indulge in no finful paf fion or purfuit. Refifting all the folicitations of fenfe and unholy biaffes, we are to fummon all our wifdom to avoid the occafions and temptations to fin, and all our strength to oppofe it. For this, patience, fortitude, and perfever lowed, fays an amiable writer, to choose my own lot, I fhould think it much more eligible to want my fpiritual comforts, than to abound in thefe at the expense of my humility. No; let a penitent and contrite fpirit be always my portion and may I ever be fo the favorite of heaven, as never to forget that I am the chief of finners. Knowledge in the fublime and - glorious mysteries of the Chriftian him. ance are requifite. What a difplay | of felf-denial is it to fubdue a violent paffion, to tame a fenfual inclination, or to forgive an apparent affront. We must have fome good acquaintance with ourselves, in order to practise aright felf-denial, or even to be useful to the world. tant do good and to communicate forget not, for with fuch facrifices God is well pleafed. And we are exhorted never to be weary of well doing. And we do the most good to mankind by a holy and religious life. Beyond difpute, the imporbusiness of life is to honor God, and do good to man. This fhould be our grand aim. But if we be unacquainted with ourselves, or do not attend to our station and rank in life, or confider our relation to, and connexion with others, our advantages and abilities, we fhall not know how to be moft ufeful to the world. It may be added again, igno. rance of ourselves will be a hindrance to many parts of religious and devout exercises. Particu Every good man will ardently wish to have his life ufeful to the world. To be in the creation of the Almighty a mere cypher-a cumber-ground-altogether ufelefs, in our day and place, is a moft painful idea. We should defire not only to have our death, whenever it shall come, peaceful, But our life useful. Our defire fhould be not, only to be free from the curfe of being mischievous and peftilential to fociety, but to be of actual fervice and benefit by frown-larly, in the duty of prayer. For ing on vice, and by encouraging he who does not know himself, virtue. But if ignorant of our will not know his fpiritual wants, place and station, of our abilities either the mercies which he needs, and capacities, it is impoffible to or fins which he ought to bewail. know how we may be the moft ufe."Our hearts, fays Mr. Baxter, ful. Our principal concern, in our day and station, fhould be to glorify God and to be ferviceable to man. Indeed, one of the best ways of confulting the divine glo. ry is in being as ufeful as may be in our fphere, to our fellow-men. would be the best PRAYER-BOOK, if we were well fkilled in reading them. Why do men pray, and call for prayers when they come to die, but because they begin a little better to know themfelves? And were they now to hear the Some have carried this point fo far voice of God and confcience, they as to affirm that no religion is of any would not remain fpeechless. But worth except what confifts in the they that are born deaf, are alpractice of moral virtue, and doing ways dumb." Self-ignorance will good to man: that all beyond or keep us from a commendable debefide this, is either fuperftition or gree of fervor in our addreffes to fanaticifma mere delufion. The the throne of grace. The direccandid muft look upon this, tion is, in holy writ, to be fervent as a very great and dangerous er- in fpirit, ferving the Lord. It ror, though efpoufed by men who will likewife prevent our ordering call themselves philofophers, who our thoughts and speech aright, boat in having broken loose from and confequently be inftrumental vulgar prejudices. For doth not of preventing the grace and gift of juftice require us to love and ferve prayer. We shall be dead and forthe Supreme Being, the author of mal in the duty, as we too often all our mercies, as well as to do are, if we do not feriously confidgood to our fellow-creatures. Toler what we are, and what we are about; to whom we pray, and for what we pray. the mother, and was a very remarkable instance of early piety. Prior to this afflictive event, both Eufebia and her hushand had profeffed the Chriftian religion, and fupported a fair unblemished char It will prevent a due and acceptable acknowledgement of the rich bleffings daily received from the beneficent hand of the bountiful benefactor of the universe. In-acter. But from this period, Eufedeed a good acquaintance with our own make and temper is neceffary in order to know what bleflings are fuitable, as well as fafonable for us, or to be affectionately grateful under the receipt of them. For how can we be duly thankful to God, as long as we are ignorant of ourfelves. These are fome of the unhappy confequences flowing from ignorance of ourselves; of not knowing what manner of spirit we are of. There are many more, but what have now been stated, though briefly, are fufficient to excite us to the needful work of STUDYING OURSELVES. TO THE EDITORS OF THE CON- AZINE. GENTLEMEN, I bia's piety began to fhine with a more diftinguished luftre, and continned to increafe to the clofing fcene of life. Her laft fickness was a flow confumption, and her decline commenced more than two years before her death. From the beginning of her fickness, I often vifited her, and had very frequent opportunities to obferve her temper of mind, and the exercises of her heart. At first her diforder did not, in the view of her phyfician, put on any dangerous fymptoms. After fome months its nature, and probable termination were more clearly perceived. On the first appearance of danger, I noticed in her strong defires of longer life; but not without evidences of fubmiffion to the will of God. The motives of thefe defires feemed all to have been drawn from the tenderness of her mater THE particulars, contained in the following account of Eufe-nal affection; not from an attachment to the world, nor a dread of bia, are real facts. Although it is a number of years fince they meeting her God. She often took place, yet they made fo deep lowing language, expreffed herself in nearly the folan impreffon on my mind, that lowing language, "My children are all young-they stand in emiam confident every material circumnent need of the counfel, inftrucstance has been faithfully narrated. tion and guidance of a motherYou will publish them, or not, as I long, if heaven would permit, you fhall think will best promote the important objects of your ufe- to be the happy inftrument of training them up for God." But the ful Magazine. was foon convinced that even these defires, innocent and rational as they at first appeared, did not juftify the smallest reluctance to an entire, and unreferved fubmiffion to the divine will. She was foon taught, that fhould her health be restored, and her life continued→→ should her endeavours be ever fo B Yours, &c. PHILOTES. EFORE I had the pleasure of an acquaintance with Eufebia, she had entered the marriage ftate, and had become the mother of feveral promifing children. The oldeft, a daughter, died before |