30

Then out his stethoscope he took,
And on it placed his curious ear;
Mon Dieu! said he, with a knowing look,
Why, here is a sound that's mighty
queer!

The bourdonnement is very clear,-
Amphoric buzzing, as I'm alive!
Five doctors took their turn to hear;
Amphoric buzzing, said all the five.

There's empyema beyond a doubt;
We'll plunge a trocar in his side.
The diagnosis was made out,-
They tapped the patient; so he died. 40

Now such as hate new-fashioned toys
Began to look extremely glum;
They said that rattles were made for
boys,

And vowed that his buzzing was all a hum.

LATTER-DAY WARNINGS 1

When legislators keep the law,

When banks dispense with bolts and locks,

When berries-whortle, rasp and straw— Grow bigger downwards through the box,

1 From the Autocrat of the Breakfast Table, where it is introduced by:

"I should have felt more nervous about the late comet, if I had thought the world was ripe. But it is very green yet, if I am not mistaken.

If certain things, which seem to me essential to a millennium, had come to pass, I should have been frightened; but they haven't." The Second Adventists were active and numer ous in Boston in the middle of the Nineteenth Century. Their prominent church building has since become notorious as a cheap variety show house.

Our gloves are stitched with special care, And guarded well the whalebone tips

Where first umbrellas need repair,

When Cuba's weeds have quite forgot
The power of suction to resist,
And claret-bottles harbor not

Such dimples as would hold your fist,—

When publishers no longer steal,

And pay for what they stole before,— 30
When the first locomotive's wheel
Rolls through the Hoosac Tunnel's
bore;-

Till then let Cumming blaze away,
And Miller's saints blow up the globe;
But when you see that blessed day,
Then order your ascension robe!

Atlantic Monthly, Nov., 1857.

THE CHAMBERED NAUTILUS 1 This is the ship of pearl, which, poets feign,

Sails the unshadowed main,-
The venturous bark that flings

On the sweet summer wind its purpled wings

1 From the Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. "If you will look into Roget's Bridgewater Treatise you will find a figure of one of these shells and a section of it. The last will show you the series of enlarging compartments successively dwelt in by the animal that inhabits the shell, which is built in a widening spiral. Can you find no lesson in this?"

CONTENTMENT 1

"Man wants but little here below."

Little I ask; my wants are few;
I only wish a hut of stone
(A very plain brown stone will do)
That I may call my own;—
And close at hand is such a one,
In yonder street that fronts the sun.

Plain food is quite enough for me;
Three courses are as good as ten;-
If Nature can subsist on three,

Thank Heaven for three. Amen! I always thought cold victual nice;— My choice would be vanilla-ice.

10

Have you heard of the wonderful onehoss shay,

That was built in such a logical way
It ran a hundred years to a day,
And then, of a sudden, it—ah, but stay,
I'll tell you what happened without de-
lay,

Scaring the parson into fits,

Frightening people out of their wits,-
Have you ever heard of that, I say?

1 From the Autocrat of the Breakfast Table. In connection with this see Holmes's essay on Jonathan Edwards-particularly the latter portion-in "Pages from an Old Volume of Life."

But the Deacon swore (as deacons do, With an "I dew vum," or an "I tell yeou") He would build one shay to beat the taown 'N' the keounty 'n' all the kentry raoun'; 30 It should be so built that it could n' break daown:

"Fur," said the Deacon, "'t 's mighty plain

Thut the weakes' place mus' stan' the strain;

'N' the way t' fix it, uz I maintain,