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least em, and bought them. He moreover gave the but bits a lac of rupees to purchase more horses for The king one day in a sportive manner ordered the vizier to make out a list of all the fools in his dominions. He did so, and put his majesty's name at the head of them. The king asked, why; "because you entrusted a lac of rupees to men, you don't know, and who will never come back," was the reply. "Ay, but suppose they should come back." "Then I shall erase your name, and insert theirs. "

A poor Turkish slater of Constantinople being at work upon the roof of a house fell into the narrow street upon a man who was killed. The slater escaped. A son of the pedestrian caused the slater to be arrested. The Kâji listened attentively, and asked the slater his defence, who admitted the facts, but added there was no evil in his heart. He was a poor man, and did not know how to make amends. The son asked that condign punishment should be passed, whereupon the Kâji said, "be it so, " and he told the slater, "Thou shalt stand in the street where the father of this young man stood, when thou didst fall on him," and to the son he added, "thou shalt, if it please thee, go upon the roof, and fall upon the culprit, even as he fell upon thy


A few days ago a prisoner was tried on a charge of entering a house in the night time, and committing a robbery. He had made an opening into which he had thrust the upper part of his body, and then he clutched the articles he coveted. His counsel contended that the prisoner did not "enter the house." "He only partly entered it." The jury brought in a verdict of guilty

against the upper half of his body, and acquitted the remainder. The judge then sentenced the guilty moiety of the man to a year's imprisonment; leaving to his option to have the innocent half cut off or take it along with him.

A clergyman having occasion to call on a Lawyer, found him in his office, which was very hot. He remarked the general heat of the apartment and said it was as hot as an oven. "So it ought to be," replied the lawyer, "for 'tis here I make my bread."

"It is a settled principle, your honour," said an eminent lawyer, "that causes always produce effects." "They always do for the lawyers," blandly responded the judge, "but I have sometimes known a single cause to deprive a client of all his effects."



Between Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,
The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.


So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause,
With a great deal of skill and a wig full of learning;
While Chief Baron Ear sat to balance the laws,
So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.


"In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear,
And your Lordship," he said, "will undoubtedly find,
That the nose has had spectacles always to wear,
Which amounts to possession time out of mind."


Then, holding the spectacles upto the court,
"Your Lordship observes they are made with a

As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.


"Again, would your Lordship a moment suppose―
'Tis a case that has happened, and may be again-
That the visage or countenance had not a nose,
Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then?


"On the whole it appears, and my argument shows,
With a reasoning the court will never condemn,
That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,
And the Nose was as plainly intended for them."

Then, shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how),
He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes;

But what were his arguments few people know;
For the court did not think they were equally wise.

So his Lordship decreed, with a grave, solemn tone,
Decisive and clear, without one if or but,

That whenever the Nose put his spectacles on--
By daylight or candle-light-Eyes should be shut.


A noble lord gave his friend a golden snuff-box in the cover of which an ass's head was painted. Not much flattered by this present, and wishing to turn the tables on the author of the joke, the recipient took out the ass and inserted instead the portrait of the lord.

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The next day at dinner he, as if by accident, put his box upon the table. The lord who wished to amuse his guests at the expense of his friend made mention of the snuff-box, and aroused the curiosity of those around him. A lady asked to see it, and it was passed to her. She opened it and exclaimed, "Perfect, it is a striking likeness. Indeed, my lord, it is one of the best portraits of you that I have ever seen. much embarrassed at the joke, hard on him. While he was reflecting upon the offensiveness of it, the lady passed the box to her neighbour who made similar remarks upon it. The box thus went round the table, each one expatiating upon the resemblance. The noblem in was much astonished at this course of things, but when it came to his turn to look, had to join in the laughter too, and confess that his friend had got the best of him.

A gentleman made his wife a present of a drinking cup with an angel at the bottom, and when he filled it for her, she used to driin it to the bottom, and he asked her why she drank every drop. "Because," she said, “I long to see the dear little angel." Upon which he had the angel taken out and had a devil engraved at the bottom, and she drank it off just the same, and he again asked her the reason. "Why," replied his wife, "because I won't leave the old devil a drop."

A nervous man whose life was made miserable by the clattering of two blacksmiths, prevailed upon each of them to remove by the offer of a liberal pecuniary compensation. When the money was paid down, he kindly inquired what neighbourhood they intended to remove to.

"Why, sir," replied Jack, with a grin on his face, "Tom Smith moves to my shop and I move to his."

Two countrymen took lodgings at one hotel, and fared sumptuously, drinking 3 bottles of wine everyday. The last day before they had paid off their bill, a dispute arose about the speed of their horses. They at last settled upon a race, and appointed the landlord their judge; when they were ready, the judge gave the words, "one, one, two, three" and "off." Away they went, and were neither seen nor heard of since.


There occurred in Prussia one of those cases of detection of crime by scientific means, which interest a large and intelligent class of readers. A quantity of gold, packed in boxes, was despatched by a railway train. On arrival at its destination, it was discovered that the gold had been stolen from some of the boxes, which were refilled with sand, to make up for the deficient weight. Measures were at once taken for the discovery of the thief, and that no chance might be lost, Professor Ehrenberg was requested to make a microscopic examination of the sand. The professor (a member of the Academy of Sciences at Berlin, well-known for his researches into minute objects and his comparisons of volcanic dust from all parts of the world) asked that a quantity of sand from every station by which the train had passed should be sent to him. Examining these one after another, he at last came to a sand which was identical with that found in the gold boxes. The name of the station whence this sand had been collected was known; inquiries were set on foot at that station, and among the persons there employed, the thief was detected.

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