ARGUMENT OF THE FIRST BOOK.
Historical deduction of feats, from the ftool to the Sofa. A schoolboy's ramble. A walk in the country. The fcene defcribed. Rural founds as well as fights delightful. Another walk. Mistake concerning the charms of folitude corrected. Colonnades commended. Alcove, and the view from it. The Wilderness. The Grove. The Thresher. The neceffity and the benefits of exercise. The works of nature fuperior to, and in fome inftances inimitable by, art. The wearisomeness of what is commonly called a life of pleasure. Change of fcene fometimes expedient. A common defcribed, and the character of crazy Kate introduced. Gipfies. The bleffings of civilized life. That flate most favourable to virtue. The South Sea islanders compaffionated, but chiefly Omai. His prefent ftate of mind fuppofed. Civilized life friendly to virtue, but not great cities. Great cities, and London in particular, allowed their due praife, but cenfured. Fête Champêtre. The book concludes with a reflection on the effects of dissipation and effeminacy upon our public measures.
SING the SOFA. I who lately fang
Truth, Hope, and Charity, and touch'd
with awe
The folemn chords, and with a trembling hand,
Escaped with pain from that adventurous flight,
Now feek repose upon an humbler theme:
The theme though humble, yet auguft and proud
The occafion-for the Fair commands the fong.
Time was, when clothing, fumptuous or for use,
Save their own painted skins, our fires had none.
As
yet black breeches were not; fatin smooth,
Or velvet foft, or plush with shaggy pile:
The hardy chief upon the rugged rock,
Wash'd by the fea, or on the gravelly bank
Thrown up by wintry torrents roaring loud,
Fearless of wrong, repofed his weary strength.
Those barbarous ages paft, fucceeded next
The birthday of Invention; weak at first,
Dull in defign, and clumsy to perform.
Joint-ftools were then created; on three legs
Upborne they stood,—three legs upholding firm A maffy flab, in fashion square or round.
On such a stool immortal Alfred fat,
And fway'd the fceptre of his infant realms :
And fuch in ancient halls and manfions drear
May still be seen; but perforated fore,
And drill'd in holes, the folid oak is found,
By worms voracious eating through and through.
At length a generation more refined
Improved the fimple plan; made three legs four,
Gave them a twifted form vermicular,
And o'er the feat, with plenteous wadding stuff'd,
Induced a fplendid cover, green and blue,
Yellow and red, of tapestry richly wrought
And woven clofe, or needlework fublime.
There might ye fee the piony fpread wide,
The full blown rofe, the fhepherd and his lafs,
Lapdog and lambkin with black staring eyes,
And parrots with twin cherries in their beak.
Now came the cane from India, smooth and
bright
With Nature's varnish; fever'd into stripes,
That interlaced each other, these supplied
Of texture firm a lattice-work, that braced
The new machine, and it became a chair.
But restless was the chair; the back erect
Diftreff'd the weary loins, that felt no ease;
The flippery seat betray'd the fliding part
That preff'd it, and the feet hung dangling down,
Anxious in vain to find the diftant floor.
These for the rich; the reft, whom Fate had placed
In modeft mediocrity, content
With base materials, fat on well tann'd hides,
Obdurate and unyielding, glaffy smooth,
With here and there a tuft of crimson yarn,
Or fcarlet crewel, in the cushion fix'd,
If cushion might be call'd, what harder feem'd
Than the firm oak of which the frame was form'd.
No want of timber then was felt or fear'd
In Albion's happy ifle. The lumber stood
Ponderous and fix'd by its own maffy weight.
But elbows still were wanting; thefe, fome fay,
An Alderman of Cripplegate contrived;
And some ascribe the invention to a priest,
Burly and big, and studious of his ease.
But rude at first, and not with easy flope
Receding wide, they preff'd against the ribs,
And bruised the fide; and, elevated high,
Taught the raised shoulders to invade the ears.
Long time elapsed or ere our rugged fires
Complain'd, though incommodiously pent in,
And ill at ease behind. The ladies first
'Gan murmur, as became the fofter sex.
Ingenious Fancy, never better pleased
Than when employ'd to accommodate the fair,
Heard the sweet moan with pity, and devised
The foft fettee; one elbow at each end,
And in the midst an elbow it received,
United
yet divided, twain at once.
So fit two Kings of Brentford on one throne;
And fo two citizens, who take the air,
Close pack'd, and smiling, in a chaise and one.
But relaxation of the languid frame,
By foft recumbency of outftretch'd limbs,
Was bliss reserved for happier days;—so slow
The growth of what is excellent; fo hard
To attain perfection in this nether world.
Thus firft Neceffity invented ftools,
Convenience next suggested elbow chairs,
And Luxury the accomplish'd Sofa laft.
The nurse sleeps sweetly, hired to watch the sick,
Whom fnoring she disturbs. As sweetly he
Who quits the coach-box at the midnight hour,
To fleep within the carriage more fecure,
His legs depending at the open door.
Sweet fleep enjoys the Curate in his desk,
The tedious Rector drawling o'er his head;
And sweet the Clerk below. But neither sleep
Of lazy nurse, who fnores the fick man dead,
Nor his who quits the box at midnight hour,
To flumber in the carriage more fecure,
Nor fleep enjoy'd by Curate in his desk,
Nor yet the dozings of the Clerk are sweet,
Compared with the repofe the Sofa yields.
Oh may I live exempted (while I live
Guiltless of pamper'd appetite obscene)
From pangs arthritic, that infest the toe
Of libertine excefs. The Sofa fuits
The gouty limb, 'tis true; but gouty limb,
Though on a Sofa, may I never feel:
For I have loved the rural walk through lanes
Of graffy fwarth, clofe cropp'd by nibbling sheep,
And skirted thick with intertexture firm
Of thorny boughs; have loved the rural walk
O'er hills, through valleys, and by rivers' brink,
E'er fince a truant boy I paff'd my bounds
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