it being one of the greatest Concerns in Life, and being 1730. for Lite, a young Man and a young Woman ought therefore to act therein with the greatest Care and Caution, as ought the Parents alfo. And let the Parents be helpful to their Youth, according to their Ability, and according to the Industry of the Youth, and ftill be helping them, which is an Encouragement to ingenious and virtuous young People. By being too trait handed, there may be a wishing for the Death of the Parents, faying, They cannot carry it with them to their Graves; yet the Parent is not to impoverish himself for his Children; for that hath fometimes ruin'd both Parents and Children alfo.

The Parents may propofe, but the Youth ought to chufe, because they muft live and die by it; the chief Motive of Marriage ought to be pure and true Love, which the Parents cannot give to the Children for each other; they may give them Money, and give them Advice, but they cannot give them Love; and Parents, by over-awing and over-perfwading them, have brought Ruin on many a beautiful Son and Daughter.

In this Cafe of Marriage, the Choice (if we defign to be happy for Term of Life) ought to be a virtuous Perfon: That ought to be our chiefeft Aim. Our Happiness doth not confift in either Riches or Beauty; for Riches make themfelves Wings, and fly away, Prov. xxiii. 5. And Beauty is a fading Flower: Virtue is much more preferable and enduring; to have all thefe together in one Perfon, is fuch a Rarity as is hard to be found. And in this great Cafe of Marriage, it is an excellent Thing to be equally match'd, or in the Apoftle's Words, equally yok'd: Not one of one Perfwafion in Religion, and the other of another; not one very old, and the other very young: First, For where Two of different Perfwafions marry, and have Children, which Way must the Children fteer their Courfe? After the Father, or the Mother? And if the Parents are both true to their contrary Principles, who muft prevail in relation

Q 2

1730. relation to their Childrens Way and Worfhip? Many Inconveniencies, and much Confufion, muft naturally be the Confequences of fuch Marriages.

Those who marry on Account of Riches, are very often difappointed; for they very foon are on the Wing; they'll fly away, fometimes in the Flames, and fometimes they will fteal away in the dark by Theft; and fometimes they will fwim away by Water, or fly away with Canvas Wings, and never return; and fometimes by the Intemperance and Extravagancies of the Man or Woman, are most profufely wafted. And here let it be noted, that to live comfortably in the World, there must be both in the Man, and alfo in Woman, Industry and Frugality; for otherwife, if One hath a hundred Thousand a Year, it might all, and more than all, be spent in Excefs; and if the Man be extravagant, the Woman and her Family muft fuffer; and likewife if the Woman is extravagant, and lives to Excess, that Man cannot thrive in the World; fo that both must manage their Affairs with Frugality and Industry; and then no Doubt, but through the Bleffing of God, they may be very happy in one another, and in their outward Affairs, and in Chrift Jefus the Lord: But then the Bleffing of God must be fought chiefly, and above all.

Alfo the very old marrying with the very Young, is mostly attended with Inconveniency, as daily Experience teaches; for too generally fuch Matches are on the one Side for Riches; for where do we find a young Man that marries a poor old Woman, or a young Woman that marries a poor old Man? And how often have we heard young Ones fay, They would never marry old Ones any more? And one may well fuppofe, they had not married thofe old Ones they did, if it had not been for their Riches; and many Times Providence has difappointed them in the Enjoyment of what they fo much fought for.

We

We now fuppofe our blooming young Man and Woman well married and fettled in the World, according to their own, and Parents, and Relations Liking and Choice; and, now according to the Apprehenfion of themselves and others, they are in a happy State, and are really fo in one another: Oh the Love and Endearments of fuch a Pair, who can fully exprefs it? It hath fomething of the Refemblance of the State of our first Parents in Paradife; and happy, yea, thrice happy would they be, that make it their Care and Study to live fo, and do live fo until they die; and then when one of thefe happy entire Lovers dies, it fometimes happens that the other cannot furvive long, but fhortly doth die too.

But as our Parents in Paradife, fo we in this Paradifical State, have the fame fubtle, ferpentine Spirit to war withal; for Satan envies us this Happiness, and ufes all his Craft and Subtlety to break the Love and ftrict Union between Man and Wife, and to turn it to Hatred and Bitternefs; fo that inftead of dying for one another, they with one another dead; and fometimes the innocent Sufferer dies indeed, with Sorrow and Grief; and the Survivor meets with one who pays off all former Scores.

In order to circumvent our grand Enemy, and keep to our first Love as much as lies in our Power, we muft ftrictly avoid Anger, Jealoufy, Intemperance, wilful Separation, and the one too much infifting in his or her Will, against the others, &c. But in Cafes dubious, or difficult, the Author of all Things hath given the decifive Power to the Male, because the Female was first in the Tranfgreffion; but it were better if these Two had but one Will, as they are one Flefh, and that there were no other Power between them two, but the fweet and cordial Power of Love; in that Mortals (especially when it is in that which is divine) ever were, and ftill are, and always will be, happy.

Q3

1. Anger

1730.

1730. 1. Anger ought as much as poffible to be avoided, between a Man and his Wife. In a Heat or Rage, that may be done or faid in an Inftant, which one or both may have Occafion to repent of all their Days; and when once done, it cannot be undone. Again, and as often as a Man is angry with his Wife, or a Woman with her Hufband (without a fufficient Cause) fo often do they make Work for Repentance,and without which the Fault cannot be done clean away. Let the angry Perfon remember the good Advice in facred Record, Let not the Sun go down on thine Anger, Eph. iv. 26. And if it was not to go down on the Anger of the common People, much more it ought not between a Man and his Wife. And let fpecial Care be taken, that both be not angry together; for that would be the Way to fire the whole Houle prefently, fo that the Houfe would be too hot to hold them.

2dly, Jealoufy. Oh cruel Jealoufy! Jealousy is cruel as the Grave, and burns as a Fire in the Soul, and will certainly confume it, if it be kept alive. It ought indeed to be carefully watched againft, and each Perfon to avoid all Actions that might give, or have any Umbrage that Way. A free, open Difpofition, would mightily help to quench the burning Flames of Jealoufy. And Love, fincere Love, will mightily circumvent our fiery Enemy, the Prince of evil Flames, who ftrives to ftir up that (and not only that, but other) and all falle Fires whatfoever. If we would live in Peace and Love, let us put on Charity; and that will lead us to put the best Construction, and not the worst, on the Words and Actions one of another. This is a fafe and good general Rule for a Man and his Wife to obferve; and not only for a Man and his Wife, but for all others, on all Occafions of Difference. For what fad Work would it make in the World, and who could efcape from Cenfure, if the worst Constructions were put on all their free Words and Difcourfes? Yet fome

fome may be cenfur'd defervedly notwithstanding. Oh! 1730. but this Divine Love is fuch a wonderful Thing, it will quench the Darts of the Devil, and he cannot wound us while this prevails.

Worthy to be remembered is that great Saying of the Son of God, By this fhall all Men know that ye are my Difciples, if ye love one another, John xiii. 35. And this between a Man and his Wife, is doubtless highly neceffary; and without it they must be unhap

py.

3dly, Intemperance is a fore Evil in a married State (it is bad in any,and worfe in that) for it not only deftroys the Peace of the Family, but that by which (under Providence) the Family fubfifts, and is fupported; (i. e. the Increase or regular Income of it) and it alfo deftroys the Health, debauches the Mind, quenches cordial Love, hurts Pofterity, in caufing weakly Children, deftroys Credit and Reputation, and hath brought many a Family to Poverty, Ruin, and Difgrace. Oh the Mifery! Intemperance brings on People and Families, in Drinking efpecially, and alfo in Eating and Apparel, it is hard to be exprefs'd in Words. Oh! what cruel Hardships it brings on Perfons and their Families, and that efpecially of drinking to Excels, which the Male Kind are moft guilty of. How barbarous it is for a Man to be carousing in a Tavern till Morning, and his Wife weeping by herself at home, waiting for him? And when he comes in, fometimes in great Diforder, and often in fuch Fits, he is very mifchievous, and commits much Folly and Outrage, of which he would be ashamed when fober. Surely, if Man or Woman were not wholly deprived of Confideration, they would or should confider maturely, and think folidiy of the evil Confequences of this great Evil, and Sin of Intempe

rance.

4thly, Wilful Separation, between a Man and his Wife, is of dangerous Confequence. That was very

Q4

fatal