greatly wifhed fome fubftitute might be accepted inftead of the thing called for; but he who called me into the performance of these foolish things, (to this world's wifdom) was gracioufly pleafed to fhew me with indubitable clearness, that he would choose his facrifice himself; and that neither a right hand nor a right eye, neither thousands of rams, nor ten thousands of rivers of oil, would by any means anfwer inftead of his requirings If he called for fo weak or foolish a thing as the words thou and thee. to a single perfon, inftead of you, nothing else of my fubftituting would do instead of it; for the fool⚫ifhnefs of God is wifer than men.'* Let none difpute the ground with Omnipotence, nor confer with flesh and blood; left therein, defpifing the day of fmall things, they fall by little and little.

For be affured, O! thou called of the Lord, thon canft never become his chofen, unless thou obey his tall, and come out of all he calls thee from. If thou art not faithful in the little, thon wilt not be made ruler over much. Perhaps few will believe the fulness of heavenly joy which sprang in my bofom, as a well-fpring of living waters, after my giving up in faithfulness to this requifition. And yet this flow of divine confolation lafted not long at this time; for though I gave up to whatever the Lord required of me, yet as I had fo long and fo ftubbornly rebelled against him, he faw meet, in his infinite wifdom, foon to hide his face from me again, and clofe me up in almost utter darkness, which rendered my days truly tedious, and my nights wearifome to my foul. I was fully convinced that God was to be known inwardly, in power and great glory, by thofe who obey him, and wait upon him. My heart was inflamed with love towards him. I had feen a little of his comeliness-He had become the beloved of my foul, the chiefeft among ten thousands; therefore I often

* 1 Cor. i. 25.

often retired alone, and in profound reverential filence fought after him, and preffingly folicited a nearer acquaintance with him. But he knowing what was beft for me, graciously hid his prefence from me. And though this was a painful fufpenfion, yet I could not be eafy to give over feeking him; I ftill continued my ardent filent approaches, or waitings. I waited indeed, with all the reverence, humility, and folicitude that my foul was capable of; but all feomed in vain. Oh! the mourning and lamentation, the distress and bitter weeping, that almost continually overwhelmed me for feveral months together, for the want of the foul-enlivening prefence of my God. Oh! faid I in my heart, will he never arife for my help and deliverance? Well, be it as it may, I will feek him until my dying day; my foul cannot live without him, and it may be, if he hide his face from me until my laft moments, he may own me at that folemn period, and receive me to a manfion of glory. This was often, very often, the language of my heart; and under this refolution I preffed forward. I truft the wormwood and the gall; the forrow and the fighing; the days and nights of anguifh; will scarcely be forgotten. It seems to me that certain spots of earth, fome particular fields and groves, will ever, while life and fenfibility remain, continue to have a moving and affecting influence on my mind, as often as I pafs by and fee them, or call them to remembrance. I think they must remain peculiarly diftinguifhed to me by the tears and the groans, the figlis and folicitations, which they have been the filent witnesses of.

Oh my God, thou leddeft me through the defert, thou weanedft me from the world, and alluredft me into the wilderness: there thou didst hide thy face from me for a season; until the longings of my foul after thee, were intenfely kindled :

then

then liftedft thou up my head, and spake comfor tably to me; bleffed be thy holy name for ever!

At length the Father of mercies having thus tried me,he graciously caft an eye of compaffion upon me, hearkened to the voice of my diftress, made bare his everlasting Arm for my deliverance, gradually unvailed his prefence to me, and opened my heart to understand why he led me through fo trying a difpenfation. I now began to difcern the mystery. of what I read in the hiftory of Ifrael's forty years travel in the wilderness, as also the voice of one crying in the wilderness: I began to fee the neceffity of the Lord's fending his forerunner, that the way might be prepared, and the paths made straight. I perceived much roughness, unevennefs, and crookedness had been in the way. I began to know, and in degree to love the rod, and him who had appointed it; and as the Mafter manifefted himself more and more, I understood more and more of the myfterious ways of his working.

After fome time I had many clear openings refpecting the many trials, experiences, jeopardies, and deliverances of his followers in days paft; and a hope was kindled in me, that now I fhould go forward without meeting with fuch befetments, and withdrawings of light, as heretofore: for though the Lord ftill at times withdrew from me; yet, as his return was not long after,and as his prefence was much more conftantly with me, I was ready to conIclude it would continue with increafing brightnefs, until I should be wholly and continually fwallowed up in his love: for, as such a state was fometimes permitted me, I not clearly understanding the counfel of his divine will, was apt to wifh it for my conftant condition; not then feeing, as I have fince feen, that it was far from being best for me to enjoy a conftancy of funfhine and fair weather;

even the outward order and economy of divine providence affords inftruction, which often beautifully applies to our inward experiences. It is not all calm and funfhine; the divine wifdom orders many and great viciffitudes and changes in the natural world: infomuch that, perhaps in the most pleasant and flourishing feafon in the whole year, aft few days of clear fhining and tranquillity, t arifes a moft terrible ftorm, with wind, lighter and tremendous thunder; and it may be with ftones scattered abroad upon the face of the e At other times will high and rufhing winds fuc the calmeft day; or pinching droughts the fruitful feafon. Even the fettled order and ceffion of feafons is a continual revolution of and night, fummer and winter, feed-time and veft. We have cold as well as heat; darkne well as light; and cutting frofts as well as mo frefhing dews; and a variety of other changes. this is in infinite wifdom and goodness; and plays to the difcerning eye the providential f and glory of the great Superintendant. My hath fometimes been enraptured whilft I have ed and contemplated the operations of his ha these things; together with the fituation of P rocks and lofty mountains, sturdy oaks, ar cedars; rivers, lakes, and oceans; meadows, and forests; deserts and vaft howling wilderr with the various inhabitants of both land and And over and above all these, the fun, moo ftars in their courfes; and conftellations of h All these things (though far fhort of being tufficient food for immortal fouls, and perhaps not best to dwell much upon) have nevertheless animatingly affected my mind in the contemplation of them; and raised my foul in adoration to him who is the former of all things; and who, when he was pleafed to answer out of the whirlwind, and awfully to interrogate his servant Job, for his inftruction, was

pleased

pleased to make the wonderful works of his hand, and the excellent order of his government, the fubjects of his demands. And who among the fons of men can read the folemn queries then uttered by the Divine Majefty, and not feel fome tender emotions of foul; as, Haft thou commanded the morning fince thy days, and caufed the day-spring 'to know his place?'* is one among the many folemn and fublime interrogatives, by the wisdom of an all-knowing God, demanded of his fervant; fufficiently declaring, beyond all hefitation, how infinitely exalted above all human comprehenfion, he is in wifdom, power, and glory; as well as amply fetting forth his goodness to the fons of men, in caufing the regular returns of day and night, and other wonderful fucceffions and revolutions, for the benefit and comfort of his dependant creatures. Bow, O my foul, adore and worship the God of thy life, who is the length of thy days and thy portion for ever. His works are wondrous, paft finding out, marvellous, and beyond thy comprehenfion. Thou feeft in part the multitude and magnitude of his wonderful works; thou beholdest a small part of the changes and viciffitudes attending them: and yet through all, what excellent order, harmony, and regularity, is preferved. Surely nothing less than his Omnipotence and Omnifcience could poffibly effect or produce all this. Thou seeft he is faithful in performing his ancient gracious promife. Day and night, feed-time and harveft, &c. fail not. He faid not unto the feed of Jacob, feek ye my face in vain.'t Nay verily; the language of his compaffionate regard on the contrary, is, Fear not, worm Jacob, I will never leave thee nor forfake thee: when thou goest through the water, it fhall not overwhelm thee; or when through the fire, it fhall not kindle upon thee. It is as much in wifdom and goodness that he sometimes as it were withdraws, Job xxxviii. 12. + Ifai. xlv. 19.

*

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